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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
LMFAO!!
Apr 15 2009 11:52AM
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garygohard
Posts: 1463 - Karma: 2,871
who gives a fuck..... your mom doesnt know what a pretzle is
Apr 15 2009 12:03PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
holy hotdog batman!
you're right!
Apr 15 2009 12:33PM
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cheddafries
Posts: 1016 - Karma: 52

me and my bro were riding in the gondy at steamboat with two red neck gapers

gaper 1: how do they get the hill so smooth, its almost like they groom it??

gaper 2: yeah i thionk they take a big tractor and go up and down the hill with it.

gaper 1: really thats stupid

Apr 15 2009 1:48PM
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stjoseph
Posts: 31 - Karma: 10
Standing above a 30 foot drop at Brighton under Milly...

Gaper on the lift: Go!
Me: I am waiting for the filmer.
Gaper: Pussy
Me: Word.
....and then I hit it.
Apr 15 2009 3:01PM
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Steazel
Posts: 553 - Karma: 16
that is what this entire thread is about....
Apr 15 2009 4:02PM
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eastcoastplanker
Posts: 964 - Karma: 70
win!
Apr 25 2009 1:40PM
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selkirks
Posts: 1978 - Karma: 59
at bear mountain/snow summit ca a couple weeks ago (i was planning to go to mammoth but that fell through) and i was actually told by an employee that they push all the snow out of the trees to avoid liability issues. i laughed so fucking hard.

then later i was talking to someone who apparently had a season pass there:

me "this is really nice that there aren't any liftlines" - there on a monday and comparing to my home mtn
gaper "yeah it gets really bad here on weekends"
me "seriously?"
gaper "yeah you can wait like half an hour at times"
me "seriously, for this?"
gaper "what do you mean?"
me "this place is tiny. i mean it's like a two minute run if that"
gaper "not really"

at which point i couldnt take it anymore. its as if they dont even realize that their mountain is fucking tiny. im not saying it sucks but seriously?
Apr 25 2009 4:39PM
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inactive
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 97
yeah, i agree here, actually. Chill out guys, if it was only us who skiied, all of the mountains would go out of business. Gapers are like a crazy uncle, kinda obnoxious, but you gotta love em. Thats what gaper day is, a salute to gapers.
Apr 25 2009 9:32PM
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Zoro
Posts: 1253 - Karma: 37
so i was doing some nosebutter 3's down a green and some instructor comes up to me and asks "can you teach me how to do that?"  i say "sure, just spin a little and lean on your noses"  he tries it with his din set at like 2, leans forward, pops out, and faceplants    so funny
Apr 25 2009 10:56PM
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IceCreamer
Posts: 1587 - Karma: 27
ikn was drunk on thkis tikme an d i saw one,,,, a gsper
Apr 26 2009 12:45AM
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woogity
Posts: 1136 - Karma: 23
trying to show how cool you are by being drunk on NS=fail.
Apr 26 2009 4:29AM
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THUGwife
Posts: 1909 - Karma: 301
'woaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh'
Apr 26 2009 5:55AM
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Zoro
Posts: 1253 - Karma: 37

i dont take breaks unless the days over

Apr 26 2009 12:26PM
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mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
either youre a machine or you have really short days haha. some people ride for like 8 hours+ so they might take a break. but anyways break generally mean getting lunch/dinner/snack or whatever i assume, and a break is just part of it
Apr 27 2009 12:33AM
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Casey
Posts: 7855 - Karma: 24,377
"I terrorize the mountain on these bad boys." - A 40 year old overweight, drunk, gaper telling us how his 169 K2 Enemies from like 2001 kill it in the park.
Apr 27 2009 12:57PM
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Zoro
Posts: 1253 - Karma: 37
my mountain opens at 9 am and closes at 10 pm    im usually there from opening to closing    i get breakfast on the way there and dinner on the way home    i only take breaks to pee
Apr 27 2009 3:41PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
that's how i do.
9-10
breaks for dumping and cliff bars.
Apr 27 2009 8:44PM
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joystickpimp
Posts: 99 - Karma: 10

i Was walking up the parking lot at school and i see this kid from my stat class, he thinks hes hot shit at lyfe, and skiing. he has a Sliverton mt. sticker on his car.

me- hey fag have you ever even been to silverton?????

gaper- uh...... ya

me- really???? how many lifts do they have?

gaper- i dont study how many lifts ski areas have

me- silverton has one fuk'n lift...... newb

gaper- (embarassed facial expression) godamit (under his breath)

Apr 27 2009 9:57PM
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dresserski
Posts: 1039 - Karma: 1,727
dont know if he was a gaper, or a drunk racer but he was wearing a GS suite on a powder day

gaper/joey---whats the speed for the jump
me------------straight
gaper/joey---what if u have an erricson
me------------then go wicked fast
gaper/joey---ok(as he wedges into the jump)
Apr 27 2009 10:29PM
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OneLove_skier
Posts: 1175 - Karma: 135
When I bought skis 15 years ago they were shaped, now they are jus silly straight sticks
Apr 28 2009 1:43PM
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the-big-lepowski
Posts: 1212 - Karma: 541
story...
Apr 28 2009 7:46PM
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B.Aussie
Posts: 5852 - Karma: 4,531
hansel...
Apr 28 2009 8:02PM
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wheres_my_snow
Posts: 473 - Karma: 11
awwman i thought people would like me more better
Apr 28 2009 9:14PM
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bb_Skier
Posts: 158 - Karma: 63
Gaper: Are those trick skis
Me:Ya
Gaper: Can you backflip
Me: Ya
Gaper: can you backflip over a moving train
Me: What?
Gaper: Ya isnt that what the train park is for
Me: Pretty much...

Also,
Gaper: These lifts are so slow
Friend: I hear big sky is putting a teleporter in next season
Gaper: really?, do you have to take your skis off to ride it
Apr 28 2009 10:33PM
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WhistlaKid
Posts: 2 - Karma: 10
at school with gaper friend me: heard you tried a 270 on the weekend gaper: ya i almost landed a 270 off a jump! so close! me: ... you 270'd off a jump gaper: ya! me: you know you only 270 onto rails ... gaper: (silently walks away)
Apr 28 2009 10:42PM
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woogity
Posts: 1136 - Karma: 23
so this one time, this one time, i was like totally riding the chair lift and this total gaper noob like totally was like "whats skiing" and i was like totally like OMG like "youre a noober gaper" and he was like totally started crying and i was like OMG GTFO!!! so i pushed him off the highest point of the chair lift ride and he like totally screamed like a little girl and like as he was falling i was like "have a nice fall...poooosy" and like when he landed he was screaming "MY ANKLES ARE BROKE! AHH! HELPPPPP! MY ANKLES ARE BROKE!!!!" and i was like totally thinking he sounded like tanner hall that one time he didnt clear chads gap. do you remember what im talking about? anyways. he was there for like 344 runs later and i was like LOLz, "why are you still here" and he was actually frozen to death. and i was like OMG so i went to get a hotdog and hot chocolate, cuz you know two hot things go together well, HOTdog & HOTchocolate. yeah they should get married. but any ways when i was eating my hot dog and drinking my hot chocolate i burned the top of my mouth and i like totally couldnt finish my hotdog. so i threw them away.

claim.
Apr 30 2009 1:58AM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
This is easily the best thread on NS
Apr 30 2009 2:09AM
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ThunderousFilms
Posts: 674 - Karma: 2,317
ummm ur a queer?
Apr 30 2009 2:33AM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
i think he was mocking the ridiculously fake stories some kids told in this thread to seem cool. just maybe.
Apr 30 2009 2:53AM
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treebeard
Posts: 3669 - Karma: 2,013
someone's sarcasm meter is broken...
Apr 30 2009 3:38PM
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steezemunkey
Posts: 99 - Karma: 16
I thought gaper day was when we took the piss out of gapers for being shit at skiing?
Apr 30 2009 3:45PM
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THUGwife
Posts: 1909 - Karma: 301
we once gaped but since have seen the light.

i ask you this NS, was wallisch ever a gaper?
Apr 30 2009 3:58PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903

true story
i was there
Apr 30 2009 6:00PM
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.jesus.
Posts: 2288 - Karma: 22
does the pope shit in the woods?
Apr 30 2009 10:54PM
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Totes_Magotes
Posts: 2259 - Karma: 870

"word" bahahahahahahaha .... thats awesome

May 1 2009 1:21AM
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woogity
Posts: 1136 - Karma: 23
ding ding ding WE HAVE A WINNER!!!
May 1 2009 2:04PM
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steezemunkey
Posts: 99 - Karma: 16
instead of bitching about gapers, NS should be more like religion, and attempt to convert Gapers into fully fledged members of the freeskiing community.

"In every gaper, there is the potential for a new jib master"
Me, Just.
May 1 2009 2:13PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
nope
went from racer, to straight crazy park skier.
no gape.
at all.
plus he grew up skiing WISP MD.
possibly the most expensive ice berg skiing in the planet.
plus the park is sub par....

May 1 2009 2:20PM
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the-big-lepowski
Posts: 1212 - Karma: 541

This is what we really ought to do to gapers-  specifically at 0:32.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf9VXkCpRjk    Apologies for my lack of imbed skills

Also cool promo for Mt. Bohemia with some nicepow footage.

May 1 2009 2:37PM
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hanklambo
Posts: 6422 - Karma: 233
johnsymms.com
May 1 2009 6:01PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
google.com
May 1 2009 6:03PM
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woogity
Posts: 1136 - Karma: 23
newschoolers.com
May 1 2009 10:33PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
michaelphelps.com
May 2 2009 11:26PM
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Wilsooon
Posts: 321 - Karma: 62
I heard a gaper call riding switch "reverse mode"
May 3 2009 12:34AM
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Trojan~Man
Posts: 1996 - Karma: 1,357
not a bad idea...its kinda hard though, when they say shit like whats in this thread, to keep focused and not just burst out laughing and ski away...but i have succeeded once...
May 3 2009 1:34AM
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DJay.
Posts: 364 - Karma: 16
was just lapping park with friends when i saw these two gapers

"woah, thats so weird its like a wall thing that you can ride up!"

"Damn, i just realized we have one chance go down the hill then we have to go back on the lift."
May 3 2009 1:48AM
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trevski4
Posts: 1 - Karma: 10
"how many Black Diamonds have u been down?"
May 3 2009 3:22AM
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T_LEX
Posts: 149 - Karma: 110
^
May 3 2009 3:30AM
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nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
Gaper: You going skiing today?
Me: Yeah, gonna do some backcountry.
Gaper: I wouldn't bother, they don't groom the backcountry, and there was like six inches of snow last night.
Me: .....
May 3 2009 6:40AM
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