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December, 2024

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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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[MEGAMO]
Posts: 1222 - Karma: 18
i used to do this, but now my pocket on my pants is like 90% ripped off, so it makes me sad
Feb 16 2009 11:20PM
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griffon
Posts: 167 - Karma: 15
or just
"hey you lost something"
"what?"
"your speed"
me and my friends got threatened by some gapers cause of that. was so funny
Feb 17 2009 4:01PM
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wameron
Posts: 1238 - Karma: 1,282
this kid at my school goes aroudn telling everyone hes some skiing god so i commented on his facebook picture asking what type of skis he had
Will

you cant even answer what skis those are

4:03pmPhilip

ok thier rossi's

you happy

4:04pmWill

scratchs?

4:04pmPhilip

plenty



then he went on talking about the "freestyle skiing" "events" he goes to

Feb 17 2009 4:06PM
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SpiecheeBoyd
Posts: 15 - Karma: 10
this wasnt on the mtn but i worked at a raft/backpacking guide company and i was gettin a lady from new york city ready for her trip and i handed her some bear spray and she said "oh is this like bug spray?, we spray it on ourselves and the bears will leave us alone?" i wanted to rip her to pieces but i had to be nice...
Feb 17 2009 4:41PM
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hoodhugo
Posts: 988 - Karma: 33
haha. i go to school with her. i was probably some gay french kid called raphael. i always get in this argument with him.
Feb 17 2009 7:03PM
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frampton
Posts: 1123 - Karma: 77

"damn boy them some swamp-buckets u got yerself there!"

(talking about my jj's)

Feb 17 2009 9:35PM
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Cow_Jibber
Posts: 382 - Karma: 103

Gaper girl: do u ride the lift with the bar up?

Me: whatever, i don't really care.

Gaper girl: yeah, i used to ride with teh bar up, back when me and my friends thought we were cool. (nothing was said for a while) Those are some nice skis.

Me: thanks, they're new.

Gaper girl: yeah, i used to ski, but my skis kept double ejecting every time i fell, so now i snowboard.

Feb 17 2009 9:50PM
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geet
Posts: 2436 - Karma: 6

there was this gayper dad with his gayper family at my mountain. i have a few friends im meeting up with who r near the front of the liftline. so i go ahead the dad says: hey we were here first buddy.

me: im just meeting my friends up there

gay: i dont give a fuck what ur doing get to the back of the line

me: cute jeans.. im gonan go meet my friends now.

gay: im going to call ski patrol.

i just go to teh front and ignore him.

later this guy passes me on the little slow run on the way to teh park. im buttering so whatever. he goes

gay: thts for being such a punk.

i turn switch and just ski past him lazily on my way to teh park staring him down. hah i could tell it rly got to him how i could just go past him switch

Feb 17 2009 10:20PM
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freeski07
Posts: 696 - Karma: 47

its not a quote but at jay peak a few weeks ago i saw an older guy skiing in just long underwear bottoms with no pants on.

Feb 17 2009 10:41PM
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hoodhugo
Posts: 988 - Karma: 33
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feb 17 2009 10:42PM
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neon1peace
Posts: 998 - Karma: -1
nothing but the usual:

I was learning 5's off of some mini jumps and after i finally landed one, a kid snowboards down to me in amazment and asks me if i can do a backflip
Feb 17 2009 10:50PM
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Tmeels
Posts: 1009 - Karma: 77
"The only shoes I brought are my loafers, God forbid they get ruined, do you think they sell UGGS in the ski shop?"

Also note this was a man saying this as he slipped out of his loafers and into his rental boots.
Feb 18 2009 12:12AM
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SUPREMExDIPSET
Posts: 310 - Karma: 12
A few weeks ago me and 2 skiing buddies were screwing around in the west 52nd mini park at snocompton and we all went off the first mini jump (like 4 feet) and all did switch 3s, then went to the last rail, and just slid it and did a backside 270 off it.  Then we stop to decide if we want to go over to central for the rest of the day, and then these snoqualmie gaper kids come up to all of us:

gapes: you guys did spins you must be pros!
me: thanks?
gapes: can you teach us those tricks we are pretty good.
friend: go get some twin tips and we will talk (these kids are all on 90s shapeless skis)
gapes: what are twin tips?
friend: look at our skis compared to yours...(trying to be as nice as possible)
gapes: o i see you have those rollers on the backs and fronts.
me: yeah...
gapes: so can you do backflips with those things?

all of us just coudnt take it anymore any just started laughing at the classic gaper quotes these kids were throwing at us and skied away to central (bigger park, still not great).
Feb 18 2009 1:36AM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856

pow skis--fat

mogul skis--skinny

Feb 19 2009 12:30PM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
Today at my mountain some mexican looking dude on a snowboard went of a bigger jump (for him at least, but still not very big, only like 25 ft). And totally at shit... when he landed, somehow his snowboard came completely off, like both feet came out of the bindings. (Is this even equivalent to the double eject?) After her collects himself a little bit, he goes...

"Oh man! I slipped!"

Everybody was cracking up
Feb 19 2009 8:56PM
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Grube
Posts: 962 - Karma: 14
yeah it was Raphael.
Feb 19 2009 9:26PM
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steeze_pizza
Posts: 124 - Karma: 151
last week i was skiing at alta and my brother was on top of a cliff so these gapers ski up next to me and say " oh look fred theres some jibe-ers up on the rock there.
Feb 19 2009 10:28PM
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PattyFow
Posts: 540 - Karma: 51
funniest fucking picture ever! ahha
Feb 19 2009 10:38PM
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jibjunkie
Posts: 3807 - Karma: 191

i got two first is this kid that lives up the street that bought NBT's and doesnt try anything he went to killington and i asked how  the tree skiing was:

me: so how were the glades

gaper:whats that

me:tree skiing

gaper: o it was pretty good except my skis got scratched up

me: really

gaper: yea cause there were all these twigs sticking up

and then this kid in the library comes up to me and sees im on newschoolers

gaper: so you like snowboarding

me: no i hate it

gaper: well do you snowboard

me: no

gaper: then why are on a shnowboarding site

Feb 20 2009 7:13AM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
not trying to hate.... but hating snowboarding is pretty gaper.
not to mention they out number us.
Feb 20 2009 8:52AM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
snapped this last weekend.
that guy met the knuckle.
hard.
Click for larger image
Feb 20 2009 2:57PM
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cashdebt
Posts: 2383 - Karma: 349
hahahhahahhaha!!!!!!! that it epic
Feb 20 2009 3:33PM
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cashdebt
Posts: 2383 - Karma: 349
umm wow. Sitting in study hall checking my email and i got invited to this water world thing on june 10th and the kid that started the group is sitting next to me and i say, "what if i'm skiing that day".

He says, "well if you were you'd be dumb. You'd be skiing on ice."

Me: Ya, cuz its so cold in summer
Feb 20 2009 3:38PM
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cashdebt
Posts: 2383 - Karma: 349
haha. Just continued.

Gaper: Oh sorry i meant dirt.

Even the other gapers in my class laughed.

I proceeded to pretend to fall asleep

(i live in CO btw)

Also, last saturday some guy asked me why my poles were so short








Me and my friend built a jump at vail and some guy comes up to it and is like, "YEAAH, DO A FULL TWIST" when i'm at the top of the inrun". It is a mystery how he found the jump
Feb 20 2009 3:43PM
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hedgehog
Posts: 1595 - Karma: 167
i was working the double chair last week and a kid about to get on asks me "where the trick trail is"


another time, i was in the upper lift shack, snowboarder comes over " do you have a screwdriver ? "

yea buddy, i got a whole toolbox up here.
Feb 20 2009 5:01PM
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ASkierNamedJaymz
Posts: 1209 - Karma: 341

In lift line:

Gaper Dad: "oh look he has those backward skis"

Son: "What are they for?"

Dad: "for skiing in the half pipe"

Son "whats a half pipe"

Dad: "something that snowboarders do"

(could someone explain how this makes sense... at all)

Also: not as good but a kid in line infront of me with a snowboard hadn't taken his foot out, so lifty sent him back to get his foot out, when we came back he went "hey this kid has 2 snowboards on his feet" (Line Blends)

Feb 20 2009 5:51PM
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Gorno
Posts: 266 - Karma: 28

Gaper kids: Are a pro skier?

Me: No...

Gaper: cuz you look like you are

Me: Thanks...

Gaper: Come to the park with us cuz you hit the jump super fast

Me: Ok

Apparently these kids are under the impression that pro skiers spend their free time riding the hills of Saskatchewan... For those who are unimformed with Canada geography, Saskatchewan is in the heart of the prairies.

They were funny, but it is something I expect around here.

Feb 20 2009 6:05PM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
gayper- um excuse me young feller, but could you tell me which ski is for which foot?
me- uhhhh? theres a little mark on the side that tells you
gayper- oh thanks.....(then continued to look for about 5 minutes and asked another person)
Feb 20 2009 9:59PM
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srtmc5430
Posts: 48 - Karma: 16

Gaper- are those of them ski blades

me- no...(i  was using 161's? and im 5 5")

Feb 20 2009 10:09PM
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mac.N.steeze
Posts: 652 - Karma: 6
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theres no such thing as an eleven you dumbass it goes 1080 1260
Feb 21 2009 1:54AM
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mac.N.steeze
Posts: 652 - Karma: 6
and if you did an 11 it would be onto a rail and thats fucking impossible
Feb 21 2009 1:55AM
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SUPREMExDIPSET
Posts: 310 - Karma: 12
haha wurd^  An eleven, really kid, go get into bed with your jammies on
Feb 21 2009 2:09AM
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jibjunkie
Posts: 3807 - Karma: 191
shitty skier wrecks herself on a blue and yardsale ensues
gaper: damn that bitch got wrecked if she ever had any boobs she doesnt anymore
Feb 23 2009 10:05AM
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fragglemuffin
Posts: 3312 - Karma: 444
i thought it was just myth up until yesterday, but i finally got "can you do a backflip?" from a little fat gaper...i was almost speachless
Feb 23 2009 10:42AM
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Blandct
Posts: 1858 - Karma: 37
just might be the funniest thing ive ever heard
Feb 23 2009 10:46AM
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*christ*
Posts: 372 - Karma: 67
not a quote but every single time i leave my stuff unattended at my house for two seconds my dad puts foot long strips of ducktape on EVERYTHING (boots board helmet jacket) with my full name and phone number written huge in sharpie.
Feb 23 2009 11:05AM
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Gorno
Posts: 266 - Karma: 28
Haha wow that's a funny burn from the gaper
Feb 23 2009 11:44AM
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DGiurk
Posts: 786 - Karma: 194
"How do you get to chads gap from the bottom of Alta?"
Feb 23 2009 12:12PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
really?
Feb 23 2009 12:43PM
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treebeard
Posts: 3706 - Karma: 2,513
...i dont get it. what gaper would know about that???
Feb 23 2009 4:08PM
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billferd
Posts: 128 - Karma: 14
Two guys in the in the 70+ club said I was "cheating" today at Smuggs. It was a powder day today and they were referring to my bacons.

I think they were just jealous.
Feb 23 2009 4:58PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
nice haha
that was a good one.
Feb 23 2009 5:03PM
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Jay31
Posts: 796 - Karma: 11
The best is walking through the lodge and getting the

Gaper - "Why are you wearing ski boots if you are a snowboarder?"

Me - "Because I Ski....."

Gaper - 8-|


Another great one was some douche-bag on the chair yelling "No skiers in the park!" when he saw me in the park, then he went through right after and bit it so hard off the lip of a little flat box, i laughed so hard.

If you can't tell my hill is pretty much entirely boarders... it's annoying how little they know.
Feb 23 2009 5:19PM
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Sun_Ra
Posts: 983 - Karma: 279
My friend is a swimming coach, and here's what a 15 years old girl told him :
Girl : I might not swim to well today, I got hurt
Friend : What happened?
Girl : I got hurt while doing a switch cork 360
Friend : Right.......
Feb 23 2009 5:20PM
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cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
pretzel 11
Feb 23 2009 5:34PM
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Goku
Posts: 8119 - Karma: 4,223
I got this shot at Schuss Mtn. on sunday. As you probably guessed, he fell impact:
Click for larger image
Feb 23 2009 6:16PM
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Phormat
Posts: 774 - Karma: 20
My first twins were salomon 1080's, the yellow/green ones, they had the design on an opposite end of each ski. Some married gapers (don't ask me how that is legal) asked me why my skis are on backwards (because the design wasn't symmetrical) , i just like uhhhh, its the design? seriously?
Feb 23 2009 6:57PM
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Drew.C
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 39
is that at ski liberty, ive hit that butterbox its fun hahah
Feb 23 2009 8:43PM
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ncbabbs
Posts: 94 - Karma: -20
Here's my favorite:
gaper: woah man, how good do you have to be for the rental place to give you skis with cool graphics?
me: ummm... these aren't rentals. I own these skis.
gaper: you can buy skis? where?
Feb 23 2009 8:49PM
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16candles
Posts: 1728 - Karma: 516

Kid- "Dad Im having trouble breathing" Dad-"Why's that ?" Kid-"Isnt the air thinner up here"

Buddy told me this one while he was on the gondola

Feb 23 2009 8:50PM
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