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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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Moosen
Posts: 4285 - Karma: 2,585
omg theres to many to read all of these but there dam fuckin hilarious!
Feb 6 2009 12:58AM
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207
Posts: 8969 - Karma: 3,851

I ski into the park and for refference I have Line Invaders. These two immature 12 year olds are waiting and say nice skis! (They have lines too) I'm like thanks. So I hit one of the small jumps switch 180 it, and then ski slide some midget box. Then these two girls come down the first one spread eagles this really small jump and her mom is at the bottom of the jump cheering and flipping out. Then her friend comes in and just fails on the jump. I laughed my ass off. They then skiied down the hill and told me i'm really good. I friggin 1ed and ski slide a box. I have no clue why they had Line's to begin with. They had the gaper gap too!

Feb 7 2009 10:29PM
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Shlogan
Posts: 4942 - Karma: 430
dude, they have only been out this year, what do you expect ahahahah, id be suprised if any of us had ever seen older people with extremes before this year



.. must say, kinda a gaper comment right there..

Feb 7 2009 10:41PM
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Mr._Bland
Posts: 19 - Karma: 11
Maybe he is just referring to PE's? They are the same ski still, right?
Feb 7 2009 11:29PM
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Hansel.
Posts: 4583 - Karma: 112
wrong. the extremes were a ski in the 80s for well extreme skiing i guess. so they brought it back
Feb 7 2009 11:31PM
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Whifazoo
Posts: 737 - Karma: 132

so there is this pic of me on facebook hand dragging a rainbow box and im talking to this guy and hes like MAN U FUCKING SLAY AT RAILS AND SHIT BUT HOW THE HELL DO U GRIND WITH YOUR HANDS!

i only said "dont try it, its hard"

lol i laughed

Feb 7 2009 11:53PM
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wheres_my_snow
Posts: 473 - Karma: 11
ha

Feb 8 2009 12:08AM
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
I was making a reference to twintip skis in general and used the k2 Extreme for an example. And yes the k2 extreme came out before the current day model.
Feb 8 2009 12:13AM
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ja.
Posts: 1705 - Karma: 144
guy sitting next to me asks: "are those really the inside of your skis"

(i have 07 scratch fs wrs with the burn marks on em)

Feb 8 2009 12:17AM
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M.Tipsey
Posts: 396 - Karma: 13
lol.. pipes classic for sure..
Feb 8 2009 12:28AM
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peaz23
Posts: 75 - Karma: 21

"you an just do those tricks cause you skis are so short." i ride 177 stl's

Feb 8 2009 3:05AM
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I_Ski_Line_Skis
Posts: 31 - Karma: 15
me using twin tips on lift.
gaper: can you ski backwards on those?
Feb 8 2009 8:48AM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
dude cuts me off today in the park, to fucking side jump off the rail


i scream at him "dude you have no business being in the park"

he yells back "we have every much as right as you do"

i just shook my head and rode away. today was a HORRIBLE day for gapers in the park
Feb 8 2009 9:38PM
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dubes720
Posts: 128 - Karma: 131
lets smash all the nazi gapers
Feb 8 2009 9:39PM
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charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 373
actually this is true to a point, the uprraised tail makes the ski not push as hard through turns, but that's not always a good thing.
Feb 8 2009 9:42PM
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ShredtillURdead
Posts: 2024 - Karma: 93
i got fucking bombarded yesterday at copper

old guy in lift line
"Excuse sir, i think youre about to lose your pants"
"thanks for the update, bud."

on the lift with a snowboarder i thought was legit:
"do you know the speed for those jumps?"  (pointing at the mini park line of 5 foot tables)


my favorite ever was at okemo last year, on the chair with my hombre and an old guy with his duaghter:
"you two have a lot of endorsements on your skis, you guys sponsored?  so of the two of you, which one is simon dumont and which one is tanner hall?" (it was like a week after the x games)

Feb 8 2009 9:44PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
someone who knows that i "ski"  commented on this picture.
Click for larger image
and was like
Him: "you snowboard too?"
me :"no, twin tips"
him: "oh haha i thought that was you cause the person is tagged with your name, but nice pic"
me: "that is me..  those are skis"

Feb 8 2009 9:49PM
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wameron
Posts: 1238 - Karma: 1,282
haha
nice pic btw and that box is so much fun
Feb 8 2009 10:12PM
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SEABURN
Posts: 4859 - Karma: 2,762
I was standing by the lift waiting for my buddies, and this kid points at my skis (Hellbents) and asks, "are those curved to spin faster?"
Feb 8 2009 10:34PM
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Shlogan
Posts: 4942 - Karma: 430
didnt know he was referancing the old skis.....
Feb 8 2009 10:40PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
thanks bro.
hands down best feature at skiberty.
Feb 9 2009 3:33PM
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punkrock32
Posts: 1183 - Karma: 21
I ripped the heel piece of my bindings off my ski the other day and had to ski down with one ski, holding the other in my hand.  A random gaper asked me if I had tore my heel piece out by skiing over a rock...
Feb 9 2009 5:51PM
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*WonderBread*
Posts: 401 - Karma: 13

right after getting on the char with my 2 skiing friends this snowboarder wth no goggles starts a conversaton lke ths

him: you guys hit that big shit? and points to the backsie of the mountain where theres almost nothing but groomers)

my friend: uhm not today everythng is pretty much rock hard.

him: yeah i like hitting it anyway.

(a short pause)

him: so you guys like to jump on jumps?

me: yyuupp

him: me too definatly, i have been working on my cliff skills though

me: oh coooollll

 him: yeah you guys do tricks?

my friend: mhmmm

him: ssswweeeettttttt

(long pause)

my friend: (talking to me) hey do you know what a scoon is?

me: a sand coon?

the guy: HAHAHAHAHHAA holy shit!   HAHAHAHHAHAHA, thats effing hilarious!!! how old are you guys?

me: 15

him: hahahahhahah wow i remember when i was saying stuff like that. and im 25!

me: awesome

my friend: well scoon is a ski goon hahaaa

Feb 9 2009 6:17PM
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bananas
Posts: 1419 - Karma: 159
i use my poles when i ski in woods to see if the back of my skies are going to clip the trees
Feb 9 2009 7:43PM
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AEROPLAEHN
Posts: 1353 - Karma: 192
BAHAHA that made my day, +K.

As for gaper quotes... well this isn't really a gaper quote but something I witnessed yesterday:

I got off the chairlift and see two guys bent on their knees waxing their skis (via rubbing wax on) i laughed and got my camera out:

https://newschoolers.com/web/content/videos/id/245538/member_id/114692/

http://media.nscdn.com/uploads/member/videos/1234646349P2130225.AVI

Feb 14 2009 7:18PM
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natirider10
Posts: 296 - Karma: 16
i was in the park and a little kid in a carhart suit with rentals asks if it was a triple black diamond run because of all the obstacles then he goes off a ramp and rolls over the lip and falls and takes forever to get up 
Feb 14 2009 7:25PM
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A.0.spin
Posts: 472 - Karma: 186
skiing in massanutten's main park:

I am taking laps and every time i ride up the towbar I see some kid in a tight abercrombie polo and columbia pants with atomic straight skis something (like racing skis or something), riding off the lips in front of the rails... He also keeps doing 180's and everytime he does it he completely eats shit.

I am just shaking my head in embarassment for him as I ride up the lift

So then one time he rides off of like the side of this table and does a 180... lands about half way down, his skis actually get stuck vertically in the snow and he ejects and takes a while to get up.

 Next time I am riding up tow bar in front of him and he starts asking me about my skis.  So I say you arn't going to have much luck landing 180's with those kinds of skis on. hes like yea I know I want to get twin tips but I have to get better at skiing in the snowboard park first. I shut up

by the way there is still a sign up in this park that says "snowboard park"
Feb 14 2009 8:23PM
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deezy.
Posts: 2538 - Karma: 26

hey did you see the salomon jib academy was here today

yeah

they probably want to leave our pipe sucks

Feb 14 2009 8:58PM
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Beans13
Posts: 441 - Karma: 12

I work at a shop.

Gapers: I want a ski thats good in the powder and the bumps

haha It never gets old

Feb 14 2009 9:15PM
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Jib-Ninja
Posts: 2819 - Karma: 20

Ok, i ride the Rossignol FS Scratch WRS 2007's. And i swear every single day i bust these bad boys out i get a gaper who asks "Wow, did your ski's catch on fire" and they are dead serious 90% of the time.

For those of you who dont know what my ski's look like, here they are

http://www.evogear.com/imgp/320/10127.Image.1.jpg

Feb 14 2009 10:00PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
i generally wear all technine, and don't smile, so sometimes gapers ask me if my mother recently died, or if my puppy got hit by a car.

i don't respond.
i just glare at them.
then afterbang that hoe.

Feb 14 2009 10:08PM
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invader7
Posts: 5756 - Karma: 49
today in the parking lot an old lady walked up to my friend and asked were he got that. and he said what my shirt and she was alll oh never mind i thought it was a night gown and walked away ahhaa
Feb 14 2009 10:09PM
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C-Nasty
Posts: 22 - Karma: 10

"are them them skis for jumpin?"

Feb 14 2009 11:21PM
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mr.rise
Posts: 383 - Karma: 15
there was this ridiculous gaper with a full face mask, (he looked like a thug or something) put stil really small and really skinny.
He kept going up the kicker with a lot of speed and then right before the take he would turn a do like a 90 degree fall so funny. and then when he was yelling to his friend that he was about to go he was like
Im gonna do the ramp now!


i actually think i might have got him on film.
Feb 14 2009 11:33PM
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dubes720
Posts: 128 - Karma: 131
so i was signing up for my first ever slopestyle yesterday at my hill and i have to sign a form and stuff, and i explain to the lady that i ski...NOT snowboard. and she continues to ask me if i am goofy or regular...what is wrong with some people? haha
Feb 15 2009 9:47AM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
I work on the park crew at my mountain (gore) and today I was standing on the jump (off to the side of course) spotting the landing for people, and some guy rides up the jump and stops right after the lip and starts messin with his googles... retards. Anyway heres the convo

Me: "Dude you cant stand on the jump somebody is gonna run you over"
Him: What are you doing here then? (I wasnt even close to in the way)
Me: making sure people dont stand on the jump like you, I work here (I point to the big patch on my coat)
Him: Oh...

Feb 15 2009 7:22PM
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skiP.E.I.
Posts: 7861 - Karma: 22,358
yesterday my brother broke one of his brakes trying a 10 and my mom told him he had to get a new one. She said "don't your brakes mke you stop if you get going to fast?"
Feb 15 2009 8:17PM
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with_stupid
Posts: 316 - Karma: 10

someone told me yesterday who had snowblades/skiboards on, assuming it was their first time out..."why are your snowblades so big?" refering to my twin tips.

Feb 15 2009 8:57PM
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afton_steeze
Posts: 1765 - Karma: 92
dinner table conversation tonight.

Mom: So, Afton, I was at the library today, and I saw Shaun White on the cover of a magazine, and boy oh boy is he handsome!
Me: Hahahahahahahahah, yeah he's also an asshole, and a ginger.
Mom: Oh really? That's unfortunate. What's a ginger?
Me: Someone with red hair, really pale skin, blue or green eyes--
Mom: He's not a ginger, he has freckles!
Me: Hahaha just stop talking now mom.
Mom [to my Grandma]: Kids these days think they're so hip with their new slang.

i was laughing pretty hard. oh and i have the 07 arw's and they have a picture of a half naked guy on them, and me and my pops went to go get them mounted today. the guys at the shop were cracking jokes about the graphics and when i got them back they had put their shop's sticker over the guy's nipples and were like WE CENSORED THEM. i thought it was funny, so my dad proceeded to tell the family this and my grandparents were like, we'd like to see these skis. and my dad goes, "oh they're tripple x rated", and i show them and the looks on their faces were priceless......

this is what they look like, btw.
Click for larger image
Feb 15 2009 9:02PM
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Santa-Cruz
Posts: 2236 - Karma: 11
finally have one

i was at REI today and i was looking around and at the ski area the person who worked there and she was helping someone and she was saying everything wrong about the skis and she pointed to the volkl pearl skis and said these powder skis.
Feb 15 2009 9:30PM
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dex.
Posts: 2973 - Karma: 62
me: are you good?

































gaper:no
Feb 15 2009 11:10PM
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Beefcake
Posts: 378 - Karma: 10
so im skiing at alpine meadows on saturday, there is like a 20-25 ft. table and the snow was slow so im bombin the hill and a gaper cuts me off goes off the jump , lands in between the lip and landing, i then procede to jump over him as he drops his jaw. . . super fun.
Feb 15 2009 11:21PM
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mac.N.steeze
Posts: 652 - Karma: 6
gaper: did you see all those snowboarders on the line
gaper 2: yea whenever I see a snowboarder I let him pass me in the line, I dont know if he has a gun or something
word for word quote from a pair of gapers on the chair with me today
Feb 15 2009 11:21PM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
Its not really a quote, but yesterday I was standing on the side of the trail, talking to the other park crew guy and all of the sudden some little kid runs over the backs of my skis (where the tip is too, so he couldnt just go over them), he ate shit, and is lying on the ground going "ssss... oooowww" (exactly like family guy lol) It was pretty funny, my skis were fine, and so was he, but it was just so out of the blue I couldnt help but laugh.
Feb 16 2009 1:44PM
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iceshredfuck
Posts: 7 - Karma: 10
Whenever someone asks me why my skis have tips on the front and back, I just say "'cause I know how to party."
I don't really know why.
Feb 16 2009 1:53PM
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i.ski.troll.
Posts: 4692 - Karma: 248
the ever so famous when your going up. see a gaper fall. yell to him "YOU DROPPED YOUR POCKET!" they stop, look for a minute and ski away.
or just say "your ski boot is untied"
Feb 16 2009 9:52PM
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Hansel.
Posts: 4583 - Karma: 112
some snowboarder going up a rope tow, procedes to fall

"you put me on switch"
Feb 16 2009 9:54PM
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Kayess
Posts: 357 - Karma: 11
man i feel so lucky, my moutain is pretty much a park moutain, so skiers here dont get asked such dumb things in fact, almost every skier you see in the park has line or armada skis so real popular where i live.
Feb 16 2009 10:31PM
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_Alex_
Posts: 160 - Karma: 31
When a gaper who goes to my school found out I got obsethed he said : " Oh my god rockered skis are so dumb for powder use"
Feb 16 2009 10:45PM
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SEABURN
Posts: 4859 - Karma: 2,762
you should have just hit him
Feb 16 2009 11:13PM
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