APIK Rail Jam - Feat. Wallisch, Tjader, Asselin & More

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January, 2025

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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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.Asain-Skiier
Posts: 3708 - Karma: 977
on comedy central there was a gaper movie about racing and parting anyone know
Jan 15 2009 8:43PM
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sirskizalot
Posts: 4370 - Karma: 161
man thats sick, i wish my school had a freestyle ski team.
Jan 15 2009 8:48PM
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BMB
Posts: 3138 - Karma: 232
pretty much anything i say is a gaper quote like "that was fuckin' extreme, lets get some fuckin' mountain dew" 
Jan 15 2009 9:01PM
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Dukeybrains
Posts: 1030 - Karma: 11
probly ski school'
and that shit aint gaper its old school
Jan 17 2009 3:02AM
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ugsey
Posts: 95 - Karma: 14
not really a gaper story but there was this snowboard kid on the chair telling his friend about how he did a 'fat melon' of a 'massive jump'. the jump was mebe 3 foot. i laughed.
Jan 17 2009 6:48AM
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k4t13
Posts: 58 - Karma: 10
Even in my short time skiing I have many gaper experiences.

"Do you ski french fries or pizza?"

"OMG!!!1!111one!!11! YOU WENT DOWN RENEGADE THATS LIKE 90 DEGREES" It's my hills steepest black and it's not even that steep at all... probably would be like a hard blue or easy black out west.

"Wow you did the NASCAR (yes they said Nascar, not nastar) race?! Are you like going to be a professional skier?"

"We're gonna go to the park, it looks sick." referring to a run with a roller and a 4 ft long box. thats it.

"Do you have wide skis so you can balance on them easier?"

At dicks sporting goods...

Sales guy - what size shoe are you?
Some lady - a ten
Sales guy brings out boot "we only have an 11, but i brought it out anyway"
Lady - these are too tight, I can't move my feet.
sales guy - ok let me get a 12.
Me to lady when the sales guy left - did he even measure your foot?
lady - ...no..?
Sales guy comes back - here you go
Me testing out the guy - Hi can you bring me out a 26.5 in those rossi boots on the bottom?
guy - Huh? a 26 and a half? that isnt even a real shoe size.
Me to lady - Don't waste your money in here.

I LOLED for 10 minutes after that.



Jan 17 2009 5:32PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564

gaper:why do your skis spray snow from the back
me:cause they are twin tips
gaper:well, why do they do that
me:its some, physics thing that you probably wont understand, even i probably sont understand
gaper:well, is there any way you can make it NOT do that
me:yeah, let me just change a law of physics right now just for you.  they also spray snow at the people that annoy me
gaper:how do i annoy you?

that, was the end of the conversation.

Jan 17 2009 5:44PM
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jason...
Posts: 9006 - Karma: 780
My friends mom was asking me a few questions about how I broke my foot, our conversation play out like this.

"So how did you break your foot?"

"Skiing."

"Oh are you on the race team at Grouse (my local mountain)?"

"Nope, I ski in the terrain park."

"Oh so you snowboard?"

"Nope, I ski."

"Huh, I didn't know skiers were allowed in the terrain park."
Jan 17 2009 5:55PM
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TOAST.
Posts: 7580 - Karma: 37,508
I was talking to some little racer kids at my mountain and I kept calling it nascar.
Jan 17 2009 8:58PM
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50in07
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 1,471
I heard this while i was instructing
Me: What grade are you in?
Kid: 2nd
Me: what school
Kid: i forget the name
Me: oh well what city do you live in
Kid: well i don't live in a city i live in a neighborhood

Jan 17 2009 11:17PM
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Sean...M
Posts: 2450 - Karma: 14
hahaha same here. I always talked to my bro or my dad on the lift saying nascar. Wellp, know i know
Jan 18 2009 12:06AM
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Cow_Jibber
Posts: 382 - Karma: 103
alright, so a few of my friends are riding in the gondola, and one of them says "these gloves are sooo warm, my hands are tingling."  then some gaper lady says, "I bet they're tingling becasue your hands are actually really cold."  so he says to her in a really pissed off tone, "HAHA, GOOD ONE! except they're burning HOT!"  nothing was said for the rest of the ride.
Jan 18 2009 2:28PM
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DJay.
Posts: 364 - Karma: 16
people ALWAYS ask me if i'm a snowboarder and never if i ski
Jan 18 2009 2:40PM
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pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
oh man, tell me about it. people just assume i snowboard ALL THE TIME. even if you say you ski, but you tell them you go into the terrain park. or they just plain forget and think i'm a snowboarder.
Jan 18 2009 3:05PM
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basa
Posts: 85 - Karma: 10
i had a old gaper on the chair with me.
old gaper- woohooo they are some fancy skis you got there, what kind are they.
me- they are head j.o's
old gaper- so do you have to be 18 to ski on them because they have the partially nude girl on them
me-..............
Jan 18 2009 4:46PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14530 - Karma: 10,992
some new hire instructor at my mountian:

Gaper: Yo how do you like your chronics?
Me: I like them alot
Gaper: I have the same pair, your topsheet is chipping alot though.
Me: yea w/e
Gaper: Yea you didnt detune the topsheet correctly.
Me: oh, yea (wtf is this kid talking about)
Gaper: If mine do that i will just warranty them from Line
Then i just ignored him.

1st of all, detuneing the topsheet? you serious?
2nd, topsheet chipping is not warrantable

I hate kids who dont know what they are talking about
Jan 18 2009 5:05PM
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skiP.E.I.
Posts: 7864 - Karma: 22,366
I have read threads on here that recommend filing the corners of your topsheet to prevent chipping, so that might be what he was talking about..........'tis pretty funny he thought it was warranteeable though
Jan 18 2009 5:28PM
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Squid.
Posts: 1904 - Karma: 23
I've got two

my friend and I were seshing a sick rail but all these people kept hitting the lip as a jump and not popping, so it was turning into a lump of snow. so we started tellign people that its a rail, not a jump. then this lady came by

us: its a rail not a jump
lady: no you're wrong its actually a jump too
us: .....

and then there was this fag at my school with snowblades

me (playing dumb): hey what are those
kid: trick skis
me: cool what are they for?
kid: tricks
me: what can you do?
kid: (glares at me and does that "im watching you" thing with his two fingers and skates away

I then watch him hit a (TINY) jump and he cased it in the back seat and washed out so badly. earlier that week i also saw him renting brokeback mountain from our library so....

Jan 18 2009 5:48PM
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brandon_
Posts: 807 - Karma: 15
ahahahahaha,! my 4 year old brother  is smarter.
Jan 18 2009 6:18PM
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brandon_
Posts: 807 - Karma: 15
sorry for the double post but,  this thread should be stickied ,
Jan 18 2009 6:23PM
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fragglemuffin
Posts: 3312 - Karma: 444
while i was riding up the lift yesterday, i hear a girl start screaming, so i look down, and shes trying to follow her BF through like 2 inches of powder, yelling at her boyfriend for taking her down an "unpaved" run....i think she meant groomed, but i got a good laugh out of it
Jan 20 2009 10:38AM
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highaltNM
Posts: 552 - Karma: 52
"Do you ever go into that Stunt Ditch?" - gaper pointing at the halfpipe
Jan 20 2009 10:53AM
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SteezethePirate
Posts: 506 - Karma: 34
yeah i have the kreations from this year (yellow and black) and i get that probably 3 times every time i go to the mountain
Jan 20 2009 12:08PM
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Eastcoastskier09
Posts: 197 - Karma: 8
hahahahahahahaha
Jan 20 2009 1:16PM
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Alex_G
Posts: 11902 - Karma: 1,019
little 5 year old gapers wanted my autograph because i ate shit about 3002023091 times learning pretzels then did a backflip for them
Jan 20 2009 1:52PM
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Dirty.Harry.
Posts: 1779 - Karma: 351
you shoulda convinced them that you owned the right ski but had to rent the left...
Jan 22 2009 3:57PM
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jibjunkie
Posts: 3807 - Karma: 191
thtas the price you pay when you wear big clothes
Jan 22 2009 4:00PM
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treki
Posts: 42 - Karma: 10
and the gold goes to simon
Jan 25 2009 1:12AM
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treebeard
Posts: 3711 - Karma: 2,568
a man on the lift asked me if i painted my skis myself (last year's anthems). he then proceeded to offer me a beer, which i gratefully accepted. funny thing about this is that im quite obviously 17 years old. i suppose some gapers know whats up
Jan 25 2009 1:21AM
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Santa-Cruz
Posts: 2236 - Karma: 11
at squaw 2 weeks ago almost every lift line i heard " do you have two different boots:""
Jan 25 2009 1:32AM
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skiP.E.I.
Posts: 7864 - Karma: 22,366
well played, sir.
Jan 25 2009 9:38AM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
bahahaha!
that is amazing!
Jan 25 2009 9:39AM
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wh@t
Posts: 6204 - Karma: 51
youre going far on this website noob.
Jan 25 2009 11:02AM
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DirtyDiabetic
Posts: 308 - Karma: 11
"do a 90"
Jan 25 2009 11:11AM
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BKlein
Posts: 1031 - Karma: 81
I underrotated a front and some little kid came up amazed and asked me if I was sponsored
And Yesterday I did a seven and an eleven and his younger brother came up to me amazed and asked if they could ski with me
Not really quotes but whatever
Jan 25 2009 12:11PM
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4frntfisherman
Posts: 122 - Karma: 20
My brother and his gf just graduated college and moved up to Montana to ski for a couple months before starting real adult lives. His gf has never left alabama before and while watching Claim, she asked:

her "so do they let girls be professional skiers too?!"
me *laughs for a second* "yes, there's quite a few"
her "but they can't do the same tricks though, right? that looks so scary!"
me "haha I'll show you..."

I think Ingrid is her new hero...
Jan 25 2009 4:49PM
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neon1peace
Posts: 998 - Karma: -1
hahaha yep
Jan 25 2009 7:37PM
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Shpadoinkle
Posts: 10437 - Karma: 85
IT'S TOO SLIPPERY!
Jan 25 2009 7:50PM
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.brian
Posts: 1710 - Karma: 233

two kid asked my friend if he could backflip so he did one and they go to him " that was soo sick. you should be in the xgames!!"

some lady goes to me on the lift

Lady- how old are you

me- 14

lady- and your mom let you get those skis(in a real bitchy voice)

me- yup

Jan 25 2009 8:01PM
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caucasian_chad
Posts: 4078 - Karma: 3,625
What skis do you have?  Jo Pros?
Jan 25 2009 8:59PM
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ct_steeze
Posts: 1175 - Karma: 153
hahaha stunt ditch
Jan 25 2009 10:46PM
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little_boo
Posts: 1303 - Karma: 231
it wasn't a quote... but there was a woman who had her goggles on upside down. she ended up crashing on the transfer tow across the flats
Jan 26 2009 4:29PM
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TOAST.
Posts: 7580 - Karma: 37,508
family in the jbar line for the half pipe
Mom: That was fun, when you get better you can go up the side of the pipe for extra fun.
 Those wern't the exact words, but the first thing I though of was the steps to becoming a freeskier.

Also a little (7) girll in the line told me and my freind that our trick skis were to big. 
Jan 26 2009 4:47PM
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rontonsoop
Posts: 237 - Karma: 25
yesterday 3 kids asked me  if they could hit this straight on....
me: UH NO???
should have said yes but im not that mean.

http://www.snowtrails.org/photo/view_photo.php?full=1&set_albumName=12-29-07-Rail-Jam&id=img_4092
Jan 29 2009 10:50AM
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rontonsoop
Posts: 237 - Karma: 25
oops

http://www.snowtrails.org/photo/view_photo.php?full=1&set_albumName=12-29-07-Rail-Jam&id=img_4092

Jan 29 2009 10:51AM
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skiP.E.I.
Posts: 7864 - Karma: 22,366
hahaha that thing is sick
Jan 29 2009 11:27AM
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popNfresh44
Posts: 3757 - Karma: 44
i was riding the chair with this guy and his geeky lookin kid who was on a snowboard. they both looked like huuuuge gapers.

dad: so were the obstacles in the terrain park bigger than you expected?

son: mmmmmm not reeeeally....maybe a little

dad: well ya see, the thing about jumps is its all about the landing zone. if the landing zone is good, then its easy.

son: yeah....
Jan 29 2009 8:58PM
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Jiblonski
Posts: 102 - Karma: 11
gaper chode shaped kid in my school

Chode: Shit I wanna hit the box sideways but everytime i get to scared.

Me:.....

*  skis away because riding up in silence is more productive than talking to this kid
Jan 29 2009 9:14PM
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easy_cam_steezy
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 126
at the mini park with a couple rails and a couple small-ish kickers

gaper (has gaper gap, cotton army...) rolls up with a pair of old straight rossis...

gaper - those moguls are sick!!
me - what moguls??
gaper - those big mounds
me - those are kickers for the landings (I point to the landings)
gaper - naw brah, those are moguls!!

he was just skiin down and rolling over the kickers and landings...

Jan 29 2009 9:52PM
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