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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
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Twiggz
Posts: 129 - Karma: 10

Today at App.. Gaper snowblader wearing a XXXS one peice white suit from 1976(he had spiky hair and like swimming googles on)

He was stright lining orchard run and almost took out liike 50 people so the next run a ski patrol stopped him.

Ski Patrol: HEY MAN YOU WITH THE SNOW BLADES COME HERE

Gaper: WHAT THE FUCK MAN WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM

Ski Patrol: You need to calm your ass down

Gaper: Ok man what is the problem

Ski Partol: Your skiing out of control and you almost hit a little girl

Gaper: WTF man im tryin to get my adrinilene pumping and your fucking it up

Ski Patrol: Listen I dont give a shit if i see you out of control agin im taking your ticket

Gaper: OK OK OK OK man listen just let me ask something to clarify things

Gaper: OK CAN I GO Kamikaze fast or just like really fast

Ski Patrol: How about slow fast

GAper: K dude sounds good

The gaper rides away and imideatly strightlines the run agin ski patrol just shakes his head and radios down to have the gaper escorted off the slopes.

Dec 28 2008 12:12AM
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Hood.[scdb]
Posts: 564 - Karma: 14
hahah some funny quates
Dec 28 2008 3:50AM
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[MEGAMO]
Posts: 1222 - Karma: 18
on the lift at copper with some texan or something

Texan: "Wow, look at that, that must be a black"
Me: "No this whole side of the mountain is green and blue, all easy stuff"
Texan: "Yeah right, this is like a 15 degree incline"
Dec 31 2008 12:18AM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
OMG OMG OMG

What are snow cats and how big do they get?
Dec 31 2008 12:01PM
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50in07
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 1,471
Gaper-So i hear you like skiing
Me- Yea
Gaper_ do you race
Me-no freestyle
Gaper- I have a pair of double tip skis... there k2 apache
Me- uhmm sweet
Gaper- I once 540ed onto a rail
Me- uhmm sweet

Dec 31 2008 12:09PM
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Shlogan
Posts: 4942 - Karma: 430
dude, these are gaper quotes, they just have to be something stupid, i dont think it has to be from a complete gaper. my freind said this cuz my other freinds went to windells ad came back and started talking about tall tees. so he didnt know really what it was all about, he just knew that they were big shirts and that "everyone thinks there gay." i was like, wow dude. not really.

that probabley sounded really retarded, sorry about that.
Dec 31 2008 1:09PM
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skiP.E.I.
Posts: 7861 - Karma: 22,358
"why is there no one on the chairs on the other side of the lift?"
Dec 31 2008 7:20PM
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woogity
Posts: 1136 - Karma: 23
me: brighton needs bigger jumps so we can spin cork and do flips.
gaper: if you hike up this ridge and drop down over on that side, there are some INVERTED jumps.
me: uh...
Dec 31 2008 7:30PM
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caucasian_chad
Posts: 4078 - Karma: 3,625
I was skiing switch on a green run and I heard:

"NO WAY!!!  HE'S NOT EVEN USING POLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I laughed all the way down the hill.  It made my day.
Dec 31 2008 11:00PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
aahahaha, yes
Jan 1 2009 10:47AM
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Panchuk
Posts: 1610 - Karma: 357

Got a few today...

On the chair talking to his friend:
Gaper:Did you know that the chairs dont actually move, but the steel cable does
Gaper friend: Its all just one intricate pully system

My friend said on the chair, while i was riding switch down a hill someone said:
Gaper:Woooww! thats guys riding backwards
Gaper friend: I wonder if he can do backflip!

Guy with an indian accent pointing to the mini terrain park where the jump are 2 feet tall
Gaper:Are those jumps hard? , I dont want to fall on my ass.
Me: Im sure you'll fine
Gaper: *proceeds to go off each jump, falling on his ass every time.



Jan 2 2009 11:30PM
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7-11_Slurpee
Posts: 1142 - Karma: 1,552
"Whoa, those skis are really wide"

"sometimes, when the resort gets alot of snow, they let you ski in the trees"




Jan 2 2009 11:42PM
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Phill.
Posts: 1149 - Karma: 37
gapper "you know what they say..."

me: idk?

gapper "if your feet are cold, just put on a hat!!!!"
(insert stupid laugh here)


Jan 3 2009 12:21AM
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pretzels
Posts: 416 - Karma: 43
Your head is 40% of your body heat....so if you put on a hat, chances are your feet would warm up.

My favorite gaper  interaction:

Gaper: "you need to get a belt for those pants son"

me: "na man, I have suspenders, they work better than a belt"

Gaper: "but you look like you're wearing clown pants!"

me: "maybe so, but I think it looks good"

Gaper: "know who else thinks that style looks good? People in JAIL! Ever been there son?
Jan 3 2009 10:57AM
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Obsessedwski
Posts: 2261 - Karma: 71
HAHAHHA
Jan 3 2009 12:05PM
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Mooserz
Posts: 2945 - Karma: 32
bwahahah
Jan 3 2009 12:27PM
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Dukeybrains
Posts: 1030 - Karma: 11
yeah that's true though
Jan 4 2009 3:26PM
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matthew.
Posts: 879 - Karma: 12
where is the lift to get to those really big mountains where they film the movies?
Jan 4 2009 5:19PM
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Snowgoner
Posts: 5047 - Karma: 965
my friends dad on a pow day and we were skiing the powder in the woods- wow this is tough to ski in i wish they groomed it powder sucks
Jan 4 2009 5:51PM
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s.bishop
Posts: 665 - Karma: 26
i dont think i put it in here yet, so:

while working at midstation at Smuggs:
  "So, why are they making snow down there?"
Jan 4 2009 6:12PM
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dodgeridge*rider
Posts: 1359 - Karma: 25
my friend 270d off a flat rail and some race team kid yelled from the chairlift
"WOW A HELICOPTER. SICK DUDE"
Jan 4 2009 6:17PM
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urmainman
Posts: 118 - Karma: 10
on gaper day while we are all wearing jeans tucked into our ski boots:

gaper:wow thats really cool that you guys are good enough that you don't wear those sledding pants.
Jan 4 2009 6:38PM
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little_boo
Posts: 1303 - Karma: 231

"your skis have tips on both ends! you won't even know which way they go!"

that, and i've recieved the weird looks that are obviously "what's wrong with her bindings. her heel isn't attached."
gotta love it.

Jan 4 2009 9:05PM
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treebeard
Posts: 3706 - Karma: 2,513
telemark?
Jan 4 2009 9:14PM
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mr_grom
Posts: 708 - Karma: 51
Quote from a gaper from Head for the Hills:  "there'll be a bunch of 360's, 520's, it'd be cool to see a 900 go down"
Jan 4 2009 9:28PM
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IGotScrilla
Posts: 69 - Karma: 10
HAHAHhahah
Jan 4 2009 10:27PM
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mr_grom
Posts: 708 - Karma: 51

Most kids at my school know that i go skiing every weekend.  One kid was trying to talk skiing with me and he said "Skiers can do all the tricks that snowboarders can do, but we can cross our skis".

Jan 10 2009 6:39PM
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Drew-Z
Posts: 96 - Karma: 10
hahahha thats awesome...

ive got a similar story. i was standing on the lift line, and this dude just starts waving his hangs in my face (im wearing fire red lenses). i calmly go, what the fuck are you doing? and hes like oh sorry, I didnt know people could see through those things, i thought they were only for like blind people or something...

Jan 10 2009 7:22PM
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CLIP
Posts: 42 - Karma: 10

i was riding up the lift with these two gapers. they keep looking at my skiis and laughing. so i say what the fuck are u laughing at? gaper says: one of ur skiis is backwards. I just said oo shit not again!

Oh i have 07 line invaders. <-that kinda makes the joke  

Jan 10 2009 9:43PM
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50in07
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 1,471
The number one quote i've heard this year "Why are you wearing two different boots"
Jan 11 2009 12:17AM
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Microcosm
Posts: 4765 - Karma: 153
you should have been like dude! they can grow to like 8ft! it's ridiculous, watch the fuck out for em! 5 kids got attacked last year, don't go down such and such trail! that's where he lives!
Jan 11 2009 12:29AM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
Gaper female:Its icy
Me: yeah it will be better tomorrow morning because theyll have the cats out tonight
gaper female:Cats? Do they scratch the slope or something?
Jan 11 2009 12:54AM
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[MEGAMO]
Posts: 1222 - Karma: 18
i dont get it
Jan 11 2009 2:00AM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349

convincing people here in Latrobe Pennsylvania that twin tips are not snowlerblades, and that you can do park on them is like trying to teach a fourth grader calculus, they just dont get it.

people have no idea freeskiing exsists. i tell someone i ski park, then i have to explain it to them,  then they ask "well, why dont you just snowboard? its so much cooler!"

another gaper experience was when i was asked how many days i skied,

G: So how many times have you been skiing?

Me: 45 (this was in march of last year)

G: what? no wai!!! in how many years?

Me: no just this year...

G no way, thats not possible, it would cost like 10 thousand dollars

Me: um, thats why i have a season pass...

.

as big as freeskiing is people just do not understand.

Jan 11 2009 2:17AM
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WH3R3
Posts: 26 - Karma: 10
gaper: "do you go off those ramp things and do twists?"

Jan 11 2009 2:50AM
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skiP.E.I.
Posts: 7861 - Karma: 22,358
He must have those black and yellow SPKs
Jan 11 2009 7:32AM
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7-11_Slurpee
Posts: 1142 - Karma: 1,552
you mean helicopters!?!?!!?
Jan 11 2009 8:04AM
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s.g.
Posts: 355 - Karma: 11
"haa look at that guy,he rides backwards.he must be born on skis."

(a gaper explaining to some kid what snowpark is) - look those hoopsers are built for those who ski on boards
Jan 11 2009 8:32AM
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blackoutbill
Posts: 2918 - Karma: 282
I got another one. So i'm sitting in my photo class and this girl across from starts talkikng to me. She is so annoying and you can't get her to shut up. Then another girl sits next to me who is also really annoying

girl 1:do you ski?
me:yeah
girl 2:I think skiers are so annoying. Except you, Will. You are cool cause you do the terrain and stuff
girl 1: whats terrain?
girl 2: Its like the jumps and stuff
girl 1: Oh yeah. So wheere do you usually ski?
me: Loveland or eldora
girl 1: Oh wow my brother is on the ski team in loveland. he can do a backflip.
me: cool
girl 1: Are you on the ski team?
me: no
girl 1: Oh. Well my brother can do a backflip
me: good for your brother

the damn girl kept asking me shit about skiing and was so damn proud of her brother and his backflip. suprisingly though she didn't ask me if i could a backflip. luckly i got moved from that seat.
Jan 11 2009 1:49PM
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[MEGAMO]
Posts: 1222 - Karma: 18
where do you go to school?
Jan 11 2009 2:25PM
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Dobies.
Posts: 1835 - Karma: 205
haha i had someone ask me if i could do a backflip standing in line waiting to drop on the pipe. haha i thought immediately of this thread
Jan 11 2009 2:43PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
or pretty much any of the salomon freeride boots this year. They are so fuckin light too! I wish I had some
Jan 11 2009 7:43PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
hahahah im not gonna lie. i thought that when i saw a kid with those. luckily i kept my mouth shut until i knew what i was talking about.
Jan 11 2009 7:50PM
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50in07
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 1,471
A new quote i heard today while instructing::
Gaper: Whoa!!! your skis are so cool!!!
Me: Yea i like them too
Gaper: Do you own them???
Me: Yes
Gaper: Do you own both of your skis or do u still rent one
Me: i own both of them
Gaper: Lucky!!!

Another later on
Gaper's parent: those skis are massive on you!!!
Me: uhm they're actually quite small on me (i'm 5'10" and ski 161s)


Jan 11 2009 9:40PM
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treebeard
Posts: 3706 - Karma: 2,513
...dumb and dumber anyone??
Jan 11 2009 10:04PM
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Grube
Posts: 962 - Karma: 14
im on the freestyle team at my school and this is a small conversation i had with someone from the race team.
Racer: hey were going skiing today, and your not.
Me: yeah actually we are.
racer: oh yeah like the jumps and stuff.
me: yup.
racer: well thats not real skiing.
me: uhhhh
then i just walked away, i didn't want to get into an argument with him.
Jan 15 2009 8:04PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856

dude, where is this??? PC high does not have a freestyle team, and i dont even think we have a race team.......

My parents always say shit like, "park isn't skiing... it will just make you worse at big mountain..." that pisses me off more than anything....

Jan 15 2009 8:18PM
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Dumont92
Posts: 209 - Karma: 9
ahahahaha no way
Jan 15 2009 8:22PM
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Hairmetaler
Posts: 1200 - Karma: 15
gaper woman talking to frends: how r his pants so low.
me: its the ghetto nigga!


kid at my school talking to frend: dude remember those construction vehicles that made the trail nice?
me:u meen snow cats?
kid: nah dude not snow cats it just an abbreviation for the construction company caterpillar.
me: no its a snow cat.
kid: you dont know all the good things about skiing you ski the terrain jumps.
me: o yah i love the park
kid: wats that 
me: the place with the jumps rails and features
kid: well the place with the jumps and rails is called the terrain area maybe those features you speak of r in the park.
Jan 15 2009 8:23PM
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Grube
Posts: 962 - Karma: 14
lincoln high school in portland oregon.
Jan 15 2009 8:40PM
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