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November, 2024

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Good joke

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mtsteeze406
Posts: 447 - Karma: 11
there is a canadian farmer, osama bin laden, and a texan out on a walk, and they meet a magical fish. the fish says he can grant them each three wishes. The canadian asks for fetile soil, so he gets it. Osama asks for a wall around his country, so he gets it. The texan wants to know more about the wall, so the fish tells him, "its 5000 feet thick and the same tall. Nothing gets in or out, NOTHING!." So, the texan sits back, opens a beer, and tell the fish, "fill it with water"....
Jan 30 2008 11:06PM
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chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,121
uh....
Jan 30 2008 11:08PM
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.SteezusChrist.
Posts: 2296 - Karma: 276
lawl?
Jan 30 2008 11:08PM
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Nicholas.
Posts: 10905 - Karma: 60
lol
Jan 30 2008 11:09PM
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Parker.
Posts: 1637 - Karma: 108
eh, not so good.
Jan 30 2008 11:09PM
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mtsteeze406
Posts: 447 - Karma: 11
come on......its OK
Jan 30 2008 11:11PM
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.SteezusChrist.
Posts: 2296 - Karma: 276
naw dude i dont wanna be a dick... but it wasnt funny

it reminded me of a joke that i would hear at thanksgiving that my grampa would tell and i would be forced to laugh at
Jan 30 2008 11:12PM
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Nicholas.
Posts: 10905 - Karma: 60
so this 18 year old kid gets home from air force training and his dad is asking him about parachuting, he says his first time he was so nervous he froze and his huge black drill seargant was screaming at him to jump, he says "PRIVATE, you jump out of this fucking plane right now or I swear to god ill shove my big black dick in your ass" the dad says "oh my god, did you jump?" the son replied "a little, just when he first stuck it in"

lol
Jan 30 2008 11:12PM
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user098123
Posts: 6072 - Karma: 18
I lol'ed at the first one.
Jan 30 2008 11:26PM
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LittleRaisin
Posts: 46 - Karma: 10
lol
Jan 30 2008 11:46PM
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proZach
Posts: 7163 - Karma: 919
where does a snowman keep his money?

in the snowbank.
Jan 30 2008 11:49PM
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Fish_Sandwich.
Posts: 9108 - Karma: 16
hahahahahaha
Jan 31 2008 12:06AM
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solitaryman
Posts: 3578 - Karma: 123
great stereotype texans are pretty dumb but thats a really large generalization
Jan 31 2008 12:14AM
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DJSTEVEINNIAMIXX
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 1,664
why do crows never get hit by cars.

because one stays on the road and yells CAAA CAAAA CAAAA
Jan 31 2008 12:17AM
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IcePointa
Posts: 1879 - Karma: 19
you said they each get 3 wishes

you're only 1/3 done, now finish the joke
Jan 31 2008 12:29AM
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McTwist83
Posts: 282 - Karma: 11
I thought the first one was pretty good, kinda reminded me of the boondock saints
Jan 31 2008 12:33AM
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GotamaBCshredder
Posts: 5062 - Karma: 424
im gunna say it was decent. Just because we are both from Montucky.. And oyu should us montanan not texan.
Jan 31 2008 12:35AM
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carbon.pulse
Posts: 3348 - Karma: 22
A woman is paying for her groceries. She pays for some eggs, bacon and milk. A man behind her says, "You must be single." The woman looks at the man and then at the groceries and says, "Yes, but how did you know?" The man replies, "Because you're ugly."
Jan 31 2008 1:11AM
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mothaeast
Posts: 2923 - Karma: 13
Oh you krafy kiwis.
Jan 31 2008 1:13AM
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Elijah.
Posts: 9322 - Karma: 76
Uh...
So what was the point of the canadian guy?

And to ^^, lulz.
Jan 31 2008 1:21AM
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skiEER
Posts: 4089 - Karma: 79
way better then the first
Jan 31 2008 1:24AM
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-dva-
Posts: 1530 - Karma: 23
hahahahah i laughed really hard at this one.  man, i need to go to sleep
Jan 31 2008 1:36AM
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mtsteeze406
Posts: 447 - Karma: 11
i was considering that...
Jan 31 2008 12:24PM
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Canuker
Posts: 4730 - Karma: 165
hahahahahaha
i LOL'd so hard, im still iggling.
Jan 31 2008 12:42PM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21085 - Karma: 8,461
naw dude. he got all three in there. the canadian asked for fertile soil, osama asked for a wall, and the texan asked for water inside the wall. Where the texan got the beer from is beyond me though.
Jan 31 2008 12:49PM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21085 - Karma: 8,461
oh, you're right. never mind. i though they just got one wish each adding up to three.
Jan 31 2008 12:49PM
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Dan.
Posts: 7201 - Karma: 1,126
Why did Mickey Mouse divorce Minney Mouse?



because she was fucking goofy
Jan 31 2008 12:53PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 27
god that joke was so dumb im fucking pised know. fuck you.
Jan 31 2008 1:19PM
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08-Line_Rider
Posts: 641 - Karma: 11
ohh thats great
Jan 31 2008 1:34PM
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Dan.
Posts: 7201 - Karma: 1,126
It was told to me by a homeless black guy who went by the name of Jokin' Joe, who was defiantly on alot of crack. does that make it better?
Jan 31 2008 1:47PM
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shibby
Posts: 7088 - Karma: -19
 
Jan 31 2008 2:48PM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Hahahahahaha I don't know why but this one is hilarious!
Jan 31 2008 3:21PM
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parkerhouse
Posts: 2087 - Karma: 11
how do you throw a fly off of a cliff?


tie it to a piano!
Jan 31 2008 3:29PM
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powderdrunkie
Posts: 2034 - Karma: 976
2 hunters go out to the woods to hunt deer. drunk as fuck. they haven't shot anything all day and one of the hunters goes off to take a dump. he leans up against a tree and passes the fuck out. his friend finds him about an hour later and decides to pull a prank on him. he finally shoots a deer and after he does, he guts the deer removing the intestines and placing them under his friend bare, drunk ass.

the hunter leaves the man like this over night. the next day they see each other at the bar and the hunter who killed the deer says "hey man you passed the fuck out last night what happened?"

the other hunter replies, very disturbed, "man, you won't believe this but when i was taking a shit last night something came out that wasn't supposed to...but with my two fingers given to me by god i shoved it all back in"
Jan 31 2008 3:36PM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Haha thats pretty good.

I read this one on a laffy taffy wrapper.

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?















Thunderwear!
Jan 31 2008 3:41PM
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LPT_311
Posts: 2239 - Karma: 12
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Jan 31 2008 3:42PM
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D-HAWK
Posts: 890 - Karma: 10
lmao both are funny
Jan 31 2008 3:49PM
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.makuma.
Posts: 2258 - Karma: 43
What are the hardest five years of a black mans life?





















.......3rd grade
Jan 31 2008 3:56PM
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jeremy.g
Posts: 4931 - Karma: 459
we're not just a bunch of rednecks in mt. although we do have a lot
Jan 31 2008 5:12PM
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skiRay
Posts: 7558 - Karma: 926
hah thats gross. 
Jan 31 2008 5:16PM
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buchanan.
Posts: 1911 - Karma: 156
wow, no dead baby jokes yet ?
Jan 31 2008 5:23PM
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.SteezusChrist.
Posts: 2296 - Karma: 276
this one is awful, i didnt make it up and rarely use dead baby jokes, but here i go.
whats the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
i dont rape my sandwich before i eat it

i know, its awful
Jan 31 2008 5:30PM
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carbon.pulse
Posts: 3348 - Karma: 22
Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket?


A dead baby in ten buckets.

Whats the difference between bowling balls and dead babies?


You cant unload bowling balls from a the back of a truck with a pitchfork.
Jan 31 2008 5:34PM
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glass
Posts: 321 - Karma: 54
what is black

and blue

and hates sex
Jan 31 2008 5:41PM
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pommes_vertes.
Posts: 1260 - Karma: 10
How do all ethnic jokes start?







With a look over your shoulder.
Jan 31 2008 6:15PM
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shibby
Posts: 7088 - Karma: -19
BAHAHAHAHA! 100% true!
Jan 31 2008 6:24PM
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max.
Posts: 2022 - Karma: 12
haha thats the funniest thing in this thread.
Jan 31 2008 6:40PM
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Carter23
Posts: 1722 - Karma: 17
hahaha legit point!!
Jan 31 2008 6:50PM
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silas.
Posts: 74 - Karma: 13
its long, but bear with me...its a good one


3 guys go duck hunting in lake champlain. after a few hours out on the water they decide to call it a day and pull their boat up onto the beach. as they are pulling the boat up, a hunting warren walks up to them and says "can i see your vermont hunting licences plese?" all 3 guys pull out their vermont hunting listences. all of a sudden, the warren picks up a duck, sticks his finger up its ass and then smells his finger and says "this is a new york duck. do you have your new york hunting licences?" astonished, all 3 men take out their new york hunting licences. the warren picks up another duck and sticks his finer up its ass and smells his finger again and says, "this is a Canadian duck, and i know you dont have your Canadian hunting licences. do you?" one of the guys says "well actually we do just incase this happened.  all 3 of them  take out their canadian licences and give them to him. supprised, the warren says "you men are the first i've ever come across to have all 3 licences, where exactly are you boys from?" one of the guys steps forward, turns arounf, drops his pants, bends ofer and says, "you're the expert you tell me."
Jan 31 2008 7:04PM
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thenakedcellist
Posts: 2666 - Karma: 218
bahhahaha

Jan 31 2008 7:07PM
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anitaskis
Posts: 767 - Karma: 10
Turtle is the homeless guy who hangs out on 11th aveS every night.
He can tell 48 jokes in 12 seconds if you give him some change
unfortunately it was minus 30 out last night and i couldn't feel my feet so i didn't have 12 seconds to spare for him.
Jan 31 2008 7:13PM
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