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I'm Still Not Entertained (rant)

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Quinny
Posts: 3477 - Karma: 163
1. If you don't like to read things longer than 3 paragraphs...LEAVE!

2. If you have trouble detecting oozeing sarcasm...LEAVE!

3. If you can't take my stuff with a grain of salt...LEAVE!

4. If you hate material that could the least bit thought provoking...LEAVE!

5. If you hold some silly grudge against me...LEAVE!

6. Finally, if your IQ does not exceed the total sum of the six numbers in this disclaimer, thats 1+2+3+4+5+6 for you slower folk...LEAVE!

Please do your best to comply with these six rules, you have been warned. Remember, if you take any of this shit that spews forth from my oral orifice seriously, you've either got no sense of humor, a less morbid sense of humor than my own, or you're just a fucking idiot.

This is somewhat of an addendum to my old rant about entertainment. I have something I'd like to announce to all the writers that are currently on strike.

*clears throat*

Fuck You!

Yeah, seriously, fuck all of you freeloading assholes!

No, I am not one of those people that is pissed because Grey's Anatomy, CSI, or some other crappy overrated piece of schlock is getting hurt by this. I stopped watching scripted television years ago. Thats not to say that reality shows are any good, they suck as miserably as anything else. You'd have to beg me to watch some of the crap people try to pass off as "entertainment" today. If it weren't for sports, a small handful of shows (like 4), and the History/Discovery/etc. Channels...I would not even own a TV set.

No, I'm not pissed because it's delaying movies like Rambo 23, This Old House: The Movie, a remake of (insert crappy horror film here), or Indiana Jones: The Search for More Money. Honestly, how many more sequels, prequels, remakes, uninspired parodies, and transparent copy cat films can they make? Did I mention based on a true story...but with EXPLOSIONS!!!

We get spoon-fed all this mediocre drivel and yet the very same writers that come up with this trash feel that they can go on strike. What a fucking joke! These people do jack shit, get paid for it, then hold out for more because they actually think they're worth something. I've never seen anything like it. Oh wait, yes I have. It's the same way the American steel and automotive industries were run into the ground decades ago.

Less work and more pay makes Johnny a good Union member!

Wheres the fresh stuff? Where are all the creative ideas? Far and few I'm afraid. For every new idea that gets thrown out into the field, it gets buried under a pile of llama shit ten times the size. How does anyone expect creative progression when all we get (and gladly take) are a bunch of old and stale gimmicks that play off nostalgia. Seriously, if I see another cheap remake, I'm going to messily (and somewhat creatively) disembowel someone with a Blu-ray copy of Spider-Man 3.

Anybody think that they have just simply run out of ideas? I sure as hell don't. They we're saying the same things back in the 1930's. Odds are we'll run out of ideas at about the same time:

a) We solve the universe.
b) We completely understand how the human brain works.
c) Bigfoot rescues Elvis from the Crab People.

The scarcity of creative writers is only part of the problem too. The studios and networks continue to be satisfied with the status quo. Thats because you have uncreative people running a creative industry. The heads of these studios and networks are all accountants and financial managers. Those stiffs are purely number driven people and stay the course as a result. They lack the guts or originality to take a risk on something remotely ambitious...they're to busy counting the cash they're raking in from the "latest" (recycled) fad. They don't force the writers to actually push themselves, they gab a used item out of the bargain bin and tell the writers to clone it. If they just recycle it, it will cost less money.

It's both the lack of pressure and the lack of talent that is making everything to underwhelm and suck. Occasionally you find a jewel, but it's like trying to find the Care Bears at a strip club (hmmm...maybe thats not such a good analogy). The industry says that they'll run out of syndication material in about a year. I say they ran out about 10 years ago.

If you're a hungry young writer looking for work, now is your chance to land a job. You can launch you own career, pull the rug out from under all the assholes, and then yell "Fuck You!" to Michael Bay as you kick him in the cojones.

- Quinny out.
Jan 16 2008 5:49PM
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word-sauce
Posts: 1151 - Karma: 11
im pretty sure bigfoot would eat elvis fucking idiot
Jan 16 2008 5:53PM
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james44
Posts: 3323 - Karma: 578
yeeeeeeuh
Jan 16 2008 5:55PM
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skiEER
Posts: 4089 - Karma: 79
im not sure ifi should leave what do all those numbers add up to
Jan 16 2008 5:57PM
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C-Burg
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 130
i agree it seems today that movies are either remakes, sequels, or from books. And movies that aren't suck
Jan 16 2008 5:59PM
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eheath
Posts: 61603 - Karma: 123,068
Prepare to get slaughtered by quinny.
Jan 16 2008 6:02PM
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Silence
Posts: 16030 - Karma: 150
Mildly thought-provoking
Jan 16 2008 6:04PM
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Mac_Grey
Posts: 1255 - Karma: 36
so true, and as a result i come to newschoolers for my entertainment
Jan 16 2008 6:06PM
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Quinny
Posts: 3477 - Karma: 163
Sorry, more thought provocation costs money. My going rate is $5 and includes re-syndication royalties and a pay or play clause.
Jan 16 2008 6:09PM
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Quinny
Posts: 3477 - Karma: 163
Crap People probably taste better than drug-baked man meat.
Jan 16 2008 6:12PM
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ThaLetterM.
Posts: 8609 - Karma: 1,613
harrumph!
Jan 16 2008 6:14PM
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Mezmerize19
Posts: 6475 - Karma: 18
I gotta start Archiving all your rants. awsome stuff

and yeah, that dude with the comment about bigfoot, he' is gonna verbally kill you
Jan 16 2008 6:15PM
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TerminatorX
Posts: 3087 - Karma: 169
i'm assuming that at least half of the stated facts are assumptions pulled out of your ass, but i cant lie. i agree with most of what you said. those writers are freeloading assholes who think that they actually have power within the network.
Jan 16 2008 6:16PM
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Silence
Posts: 16030 - Karma: 150
Hahah very good - i'ts not that your writing wasn't thought provoking, i think it's more that i'm at work and my mind doesn't want to be provoked..
Jan 16 2008 6:17PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
yeah i agree that a lot of stuff is just redone.
especially the simpsons and family guy. family guy is a direct ripoff i cant beleive people dont notice it. i mean both fat guys, both hot wives, both 3 kids, guy/girl/baby. so many of there plots are the same...
yeah most movies are pretty generic. but thats because that is what is working for the majority of people. obviously a movie company is going to look at past trends and try and play off what has been succesful. they are in the business of making money, why take risks that likely wont pay off. although sometimes we all wish they would.
Jan 16 2008 6:17PM
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skiing_monkeys
Posts: 166 - Karma: 28
 
  now i remember why i canceled the sky tv contract
Jan 16 2008 6:21PM
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saucybiscuits
Posts: 2554 - Karma: 173
21. and hooray.
Jan 16 2008 6:34PM
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Canuker
Posts: 4730 - Karma: 165
i enjoyed that.
Jan 16 2008 6:47PM
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St.Steezy
Posts: 4228 - Karma: 20
Its been awhile
Jan 16 2008 6:49PM
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parkerhouse
Posts: 2087 - Karma: 11
the office anyone?, house?, and tell me law and order isn't a good show, c'mon everyone loves jack
Jan 16 2008 6:55PM
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Quinny
Posts: 3477 - Karma: 163
No worries. I wasn't sore about it or anything.


On the topic of Family Guy. This is a show that jumped the shark much too quickly. It's not that it's a clone, more that the new episodes suck balls. I like the first three seasons, the jokes actually had some degree of cleverness and delivery. All Family Guy does now is recycle old cut-away gags and then bridges the time with a 5-10 minute running gag. Examples being the chicken fights or that long-ass song in the Patriots episode. It's funny the first couple of seconds...then you kinda half laugh at 20 seconds because its ridiculously long...after about a minute you think to yourself "this is really fucking stupid". The only real reason they do that is because they need to fill time. Instead of filling the air time with more new jokes (that takes work and creativity), they milk tired old bits for as much time as they can squeeze out. That show is dead to me.
Jan 16 2008 6:58PM
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Itsbackfliptime
Posts: 18901 - Karma: 75
I really enjoy a lot of shows on television. Most of them have been affected by the writers strike and it really sucks. There are plenty of good writers and plenty of original shows.

The writers deserve money for online sales. Thats what the strike is about. If you don't agree, then thats fine but I'll still think you're wrong.
Jan 16 2008 7:14PM
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parkerhouse
Posts: 2087 - Karma: 11
oh i never knew what it was really all about but i think they should be paid for online sales as well
Jan 16 2008 7:18PM
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SlickRick.
Posts: 4329 - Karma: 300

these shit movies and tv shows appeal to the major crowd though, and that is why its done. i couldnt find a person at my school that didn't know the name of every contestant on tila tequila. they love that shit, and the producers/writers just chuckle at their shit then reep all the benefits.

but not all movies now are shit. superbad was funny, not for its creativity or jokes, just the reality of the movie, the vulgarness, and the shittiest kids ever. and movies like i am legend, day after tomorow, de ja vu, all that sci fi shit is so intresting and mind opening.

Jan 16 2008 8:13PM
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General_Shredgnar
Posts: 3024 - Karma: 34
I definitely agree with you. The writers probably feeled abused though since they dont really get credit for making all the shows work basically, but still.
Jan 16 2008 8:17PM
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SHastatahoe
Posts: 3414 - Karma: 20
Bigfoot is a vegetarian.
Jan 16 2008 8:19PM
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freezed
Posts: 12973 - Karma: 500
I think Lost and Heroes are both good shows. The Office and Flight of the Conchords too. There's some decent stuff on TV nowadays, and I think the writers of the shows deserve to be paid when the show is viewed online. There's lots of crap (most things made by Hollywood are), but they have a real reason to be striking.
Jan 16 2008 8:20PM
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sktrkdo7
Posts: 1920 - Karma: 182
HBO is where its at man, pretty much everything they come out with is origional, gritty television
Jan 16 2008 8:34PM
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colin13
Posts: 2201 - Karma: 216
the same thing can be said about mainstream music these days. people have just come in and watered down the creativity in most entertainment so that they can snag the pot loads of money that consumers throw at it.
Jan 16 2008 9:04PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 27
man, everything you said is right up to par. like, can you believe that movie Meet the Spartans? its like our race is becoming dumber by the friday.(because movies always come out on fridays)
Jan 16 2008 9:56PM
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skier_boy26
Posts: 11295 - Karma: 502
While I share pretty much all of Quinny's sentiments, I think the societal issue is bigger, and more problematic.

The fact that sooooo many fucking people enjoy that kind of shit (VH1 "reality" shows, for example) is a scary and depressing thought. I guess it's a two way street though. Studios and producers, for the most part, put money into shit, because so many people are mindless and like that shit. So in a few years, when we're at Shrek the XII and we have another formulaic medical or law drama on network, you can blame 1)the idiots, and 2) the big ol men that Quinny states love their money, and continuity.

There is shit out there that is good, and perhaps more of it will come out. But yea, so much of it sucks, and its lame that since it sucks, that the people who write it want more. Whatever though.


And about Simpsons vs Family Guy. I used to like the first 3 seasons of FG, because there was some wit. One thing I never like was the constant allusions to other things. But there was still wit. But the new shit... sucks. There is no plot at all, it is just constant allusion, and seeing so much of it has made me realize how much there was in the first seasons, too. Then, after watching the first 10 seasons of the Simpsons, and the first 6 in particular a lot, you can see how much more wit there was in the Simpsons, plus the many things that the writers of Family Guy drew upon (practically copied often) and the like. In the end, it's pretty obvious that there are many parallels, and the Simpsons did it first, and usually better (older stuff, at least).
Jan 16 2008 10:11PM
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twintipteles
Posts: 2954 - Karma: 13
Particularly since most of the shows that are at all creative are probably watched far more online than the rest of whatevers on tv.
Jan 16 2008 10:27PM
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twintipteles
Posts: 2954 - Karma: 13
My previous post was in no way in support of the drivel that is on TV.
Jan 16 2008 10:35PM
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Nicholas.
Posts: 10905 - Karma: 60
word, lately it seems like a movie never comes out without a sequel following within a year or so. how many spidermans, saws, and pirates of the carribeans can you make before it just gets fucking tiresome, what ever happened to making one good ass movie and letting it be?
Jan 16 2008 11:17PM
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SteezePatrol
Posts: 10281 - Karma: 36

agreed. little dramatic though. could have just gone for t.v. sucks

Jan 16 2008 11:21PM
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Parker.
Posts: 1637 - Karma: 108
i don't know what you said, because i stopped reading after the third paragraph, but you're an idiot.
Jan 16 2008 11:23PM
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Nicholas.
Posts: 10905 - Karma: 60
Nah dude, you're an idiot, not him.
Jan 16 2008 11:25PM
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Alex_thedroog
Posts: 3433 - Karma: 2
I enjoy a good rant on ns

it assures me that at least this whole site isn't retarded.
Jan 16 2008 11:30PM
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Quinny
Posts: 3477 - Karma: 163
That should read Crab People. I guess that kinda ruins the effect doesn't it?
Jan 16 2008 11:46PM
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Quinny
Posts: 3477 - Karma: 163
I am personally of the opinion that if their contract does not stipulate royalties for distribution rights (in any form of media) it's their fault.
Jan 16 2008 11:49PM
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Quinny
Posts: 3477 - Karma: 163
Thanks for the worthwhile insight genius. If you have any more insight, feel free to manifest it into a constructive form. Otherwise feel free to practice skydiving off a short building.
Jan 16 2008 11:55PM
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CKpolicy
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 2,463
you better get paid to do this some day. and shit, i would eat elvis just to get high.
Jan 17 2008 12:12AM
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kingarthurs
Posts: 1126 - Karma: 10
It was a sad day for television when the Sopranos went off the air.  Otherwise, Lost is entertaining, the Office ceased to be funny this season, and Family Guy is just as you have described it.  I think it's fair to say all television shows should be taken with a grain of salt, though.
Jan 17 2008 12:35AM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
Meh, TV has always sucked. You really think that there was a golden age of ideas that were completely original? If you really want to you can boil ideas down to emotions and there is a set number of emotions. So its really the sequence that you feel these emotions in that is truly a unique experience.

For me I have just learned to enjoy being entertained. There are a couple of shows that I will make an effort to watch but for the most part I am watching TV so that my brain can rest.

What I'm looking for is the cinematic experience that stays in my head for a couple of days. Makes me look at the world a little different if only for a little while.

Bottom line is its not worth complaining about. I'm sure you have heard the phrase. "In the world of the blind, the man with one eye is king." I take that as saying that in a world that watches MTV the guy who watches modern marvels is a prince and the guy who turns of the TV to read a book is truly king. Let the rest of the fools have their crap.

Jan 17 2008 1:20AM
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ZavierV
Posts: 5077 - Karma: 100
my thoughts havn't been provoked but i did laugh out loud on two occasions. thanks for the much needed laughs
Jan 17 2008 1:36AM
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BEARS.
Posts: 5380 - Karma: 696
what happens when the book market goes out of business? i.e. making sequels to books like to kill a knockingbird or tuesdays with morrie:zombie teacher.
Jan 17 2008 1:39AM
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alaskakid
Posts: 5540 - Karma: 430
HBO FTW!!

I love bill mahers show.
Jan 17 2008 1:41AM
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brokebutitsworthit
Posts: 2279 - Karma: 27
I am legend is a remake of a remake of a book.  Not really all the original.  What I dont understand, well i do but wish people were not so fucking lazy, is how everyone agrees that books are often better than the movie remake, yet so few read the books until after the movie is made or they are pestered to by associates. 
Jan 17 2008 2:54AM
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da-bling
Posts: 1145 - Karma: 11
theres some good stuff on tv, but tv has definatley gone down over the years
Jan 17 2008 1:51PM
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wrenegade
Posts: 6631 - Karma: 41

I'm sure there are plenty of very talented and creative writers out there. We just don't get to see the shows that get turned down. The problem is the american public as a whole are fucking retarded and love watching crap. Just look at the rise in popularity in reality shows, celebrity shows, and reality celebrity shows. We love to watch garbage. So why would studio and tv execs pick anything but the crap that gets such good ratings? I think Arrested Development was one of the best shows on TV, but it didn't the ratings so it was canned. I'm sure there are other examples. Same goes for movies. The lowest common denominator usually wins.

I'm not too familar with when the writers contracts were signed, but the proliferation of TV shows on the internet is a very new thing. Only really the past 2 years, and chances are most of the contracts were written before this. I'm almost always against unions, but in this case the writers have a valid point. They are getting absolutely hosed. And most of these guys aren't superstars like Leno, Letterman, Conan, Jon Stewart, Colbert, etc, they are the guys getting paid peanuts just barely scraping by. They could really use the money.

Unfortunately this doesn't look like it has hurt the studios too badly because they seem to be pumping out the reality crap like never before and we seem to be ok with that. Hopefully we tire of it quickly because while there aren't that many shows I like, I want my fucking Entourage.

Jan 17 2008 1:57PM
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