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It certainly was short. I didn't really get the two cutaway shots of the dude in bed and the dudes wearing baggy clothes. The filming was good. It sounded like you were reading when you were talking though, not just thinking out loud, which I thought was what you were going for, but I could be wrong.
yeah your right about the reading part my buddie isnt that good at reading but its all i had to work with......the cutaways go with what hes talking about like discribing a character or an event.