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hi_vis360
November, 2024

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Awesome Christian website

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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
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All from http://http://objectiveministries.org/creation/

Well. 

Apparantly the moon is a giant reverberating piece of iron that still echoes with God's words from when he creating the universe.

And

Apple is a bunch of dirty satanic hippies who actively plot the downfall of modern Christianity.




Dec 9 2007 6:42PM
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DANETRON
Posts: 6671 - Karma: 137
Thats an oxy-moron
Dec 9 2007 6:50PM
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ilikeplants
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 17

Ahaha. That first picture is great!

Dec 9 2007 6:51PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
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Oh ye of little faith.  Wait until you witness the writings of this fine fellow in all of their glory.
Dec 9 2007 6:58PM
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Mezmerize19
Posts: 6475 - Karma: 18
Link doesnt work but I foudnt he site. wheres this thing on apple?
Dec 9 2007 6:59PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
Oh shit sorry, I screwed up the link.
http.com//objectiveministries.org/creation/

Just copy and paste that.  It's somewhere on that page
Dec 9 2007 7:01PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
Why malls are instruments of the devil, broken down by stores.

  • J.C. Penny - The J.C. makes us think of Jesus Christ, thus associating our Lord with the lowest monetary value, the penny (even Judas valued Him at 30 pieces of silver!).
  • Sears - What the flesh of the damned does in Hell. It also sounds like "seers", Pagan mystics who engaged in occult premonitions.
  • Cinnabon - Sounds like "Sin Upon".
  • Orange Julius - Named for the Pagan Emperor of Rome. This company's mascot was once a devil, until they changed it to hide their true intentions.
  • Hot Topic - A recent store aimed at children that openly sells devil paraphernalia. Any guess as to why "hot" is in their name?

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"Darth Maul": Commercialized symbol of evil whose name sounds like "mall". Coincidence?

Aaahahahahaha.  I'm sorry, I just never knew how evil the Cinnabon corporation was.

Dec 9 2007 7:04PM
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Mezmerize19
Posts: 6475 - Karma: 18
"Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an "Open Source" license, which is just another name for Communism."


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously. this site is ridiculous
Dec 9 2007 7:05PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
Hahahahah, it's fucking amazing.  Just keep poking around, it keeps getting better.  Check out the "Projects" tab on the left.

Advice on how to convert mall rats as a "Mall Missionary:"

Secularized teens usually can't read too well, so hand out colorful stickers instead of pamphlets.
Dec 9 2007 7:07PM
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Mezmerize19
Posts: 6475 - Karma: 18
Well they got a point there. I would much rather take a sticker over a pamphlet
Dec 9 2007 7:10PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
I am christian, but some churches are just redic. I'm not sure about evolution but I really think that if evolution did happen there had to be a higher power guiding it. To me alot of things humans are able to do really serve no evolutionary purpose. Dreams for example, I don't think they serve any evolutionary purpose unless some higher power made it so that we have them.
Dec 9 2007 7:13PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
http://objectiveministries.org/kidz

Hahahaha, scroll down until you find the "Kanga-Jew"
Dec 9 2007 7:14PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
That website might be a joke.
The landover babtist site that we had like 5 threads on was a joke.
Dec 9 2007 7:15PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
They could also be a random byproduct of things that serve an actual evolutionary purpose, i.e. the brain itself.  I'm not arguing against your faith though, to each his own.  I personally believe in God but find a lot of organized religions and especially the Catholic Church to be ridiculous and at times disgusting.
Dec 9 2007 7:16PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
They have the shutdown of the Landover Baptist site listed as one of their objectives.

It could very well be though, some of this stuff is almost too ridiculous.
Dec 9 2007 7:18PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
The catholic church has done alot of stupid bullshit and tryed to pretty much take over the world, but they have also provided the world with some good scientists, like gregor mendel who studied heredity. He was a monk, many other scientists were. The big bang theory came from a catholic dude(chaplin is the word I think).
nowadays the catholic church isn't that bad. They aren't going on crusades trying to take over the world anymore.
I'm not catholic, but I think that they aren't that bad as of right now. In the past they were truly disgusting.
Dec 9 2007 7:23PM
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Mezmerize19
Posts: 6475 - Karma: 18
So from what I learned from this nerdy looking giraffe is that:

Dinos still roam around and the earth is less then 10,000 years old
T-rex's were herbivorous (land before time lied to me........)
Fossils are buired remains  of wicked men and woman that died in the flood
Bees can shoot boiling hot  toxic chemicals out of his butt to defend himself against secular  evils.


I think I need to punch whoever heads this thing
Dec 9 2007 7:23PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
Well put and very true.


Hahahah, and please don't go punching the Objective Mission staff.  If you hurt them too badly they won't be able to keep writing such quality material.
Dec 9 2007 7:26PM
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martin.
Posts: 2115 - Karma: 34
HAHAHA

if you dress up lambuel in one set of clothes he says stuff..

my personal favorite is the youth rock minister

"Lets rock out for the Lord!"
Dec 9 2007 7:39PM
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DANETRON
Posts: 6671 - Karma: 137
Ok so i looked at all that shit and is that a joke or is does that guy seriously believe that crap
Dec 9 2007 7:43PM
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martin.
Posts: 2115 - Karma: 34
http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/dresslambuel.html

do it!
Dec 9 2007 7:46PM
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martin.
Posts: 2115 - Karma: 34
http://objectiveministries.org/babyj/

creepy
Dec 9 2007 7:48PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
Okay, I'm calling bullshit on the site.  I think it's just a brilliant satire.  I mean they've even got whole other websites made by their "members" that link up and the ads go to legitimate Christian businesses, but still.  I  Ggogled some things from the founder's biographies and nothing comes up.
Dec 9 2007 7:52PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
Hahahah, yeah.
Dec 9 2007 7:52PM
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fillup
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 568
http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/art/kidzart-kevin_biology_test.png
Dec 9 2007 8:02PM
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LittleRaisin
Posts: 46 - Karma: 10
http://www.christiananswers.net/dinosaurs/j-trex.html lol
Dec 9 2007 10:34PM
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ScrappyJoeYoung
Posts: 1407 - Karma: 1,277
bahahaha, this forum is great
Dec 9 2007 10:41PM
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Swan_Solo
Posts: 2374 - Karma: 14
indeed
Dec 9 2007 11:07PM
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RunDMc
Posts: 1298 - Karma: 60
bahahaha they want to change the US flag to this
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Dec 9 2007 11:08PM
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Danger.
Posts: 3476 - Karma: 58
hahaha this is rediculous. i seriously hope that its satire..
Dec 10 2007 1:05AM
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[Toby]
Posts: 766 - Karma: 10
im calling shenanigans
its a fake, a hilarious fake
Dec 10 2007 1:31AM
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Swan_Solo
Posts: 2374 - Karma: 14
i think the "4kids" should have given it away
Dec 10 2007 1:33AM
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ax_murderer
Posts: 3322 - Karma: 30
dude i dont care what anyone says when people explain our world and how and change in our atmosphere in the slightest bit would disable our existence it makes me think something out here hooked us up
Dec 10 2007 1:45AM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
oh my god at the top of the 4 kids thing, just scroll over the lambs head, it late at night at my house, and that just came on to my speakers, and I wasnt expecting it, it just scared the hell out of me
Dec 10 2007 2:02AM
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.nafus.
Posts: 1298 - Karma: 10
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZFG5PKw504
Dec 10 2007 2:22AM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
Brilliant satire.
Dec 10 2007 5:48AM
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Alexander_Keith
Posts: 3204 - Karma: 25
BWAHAHAHA

Project Pterosaur Products

The goal of Project Pterosaur is to find living pterosaurs in Africa and return them to the States to be put on display in a Creation Science Museum to testify to the Lord's Creation.

Project Pterosaur products...

Dec 10 2007 9:55AM
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