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Post a stupid joke thread

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theoz
Posts: 2379 - Karma: 128
A black man takes a white girl home from a nightclub. He takes her up to his bedroom and they start to undress.

The girl then tells him "Show me that it is true what they say about black men."

So he stabbed her and stole her purse.
Sep 9 2007 6:16AM
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alaskakid
Posts: 5540 - Karma: 430
epic thread bump
Feb 24 2008 3:33AM
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Bean_Slc
Posts: 514 - Karma: 25
A pirate walks into a bar and he has a steering wheel hanging out of his pants. The bartender goes "hey you know youve got a steering wheel hanging out of your pants" and the pirate says "aarrg i know its driving me nuts
Feb 24 2008 1:33PM
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Parkboy
Posts: 2303 - Karma: 32
What's the difference between a dead black guy on the road and a dead dog on the road?

-the dog has skid marks leading up to it
Feb 24 2008 1:49PM
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Bean_Slc
Posts: 514 - Karma: 25
bump
Feb 28 2008 4:58PM
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breckfreeskier
Posts: 1541 - Karma: 22
Two muffins are sitting in the oven.

One muffin looks over at the other muffin and is like "Man is it hot in here"

the other muffin screams "AHHHHHHH a talking muffin"
Feb 28 2008 5:26PM
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g.off
Posts: 724 - Karma: 841
roflcopters
Feb 28 2008 5:41PM
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illadelphlife
Posts: 1386 - Karma: 27
A blond is sitting at a bar reading a newspaper and it says

"3 brizillian people died today"

and she goes "o my how much is a brizillian"

lol


wat did the atlantic ocean say to the pacific ocean

nothing they just waved
Feb 28 2008 5:49PM
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Scolson
Posts: 2904 - Karma: 92
So I was at the doctor's office office the other day, and after my checkup was finished the doctor handed me a form to sign and a thermometer, I said, "excuse me, uhhm, this is a thermometer?"
He said "goddamnit it, some asshole's got my pen!" 
Feb 28 2008 9:52PM
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SirFryanator
Posts: 11149 - Karma: 1,415
ahahah that took me about 10 seconds to get but then I loled
Feb 28 2008 9:54PM
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BigJew
Posts: 6974 - Karma: 79
What's the difference between a racoon and a TV?






















A Lot!
Feb 28 2008 11:18PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
^ ?
Mar 4 2008 4:44PM
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ski420patrol
Posts: 87 - Karma: 8
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street whey an 8 year old boy walks past. The priest says to the rabbi "want to fuck him?" The rabbi replies "out of what?"
Mar 4 2008 5:06PM
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STREETS
Posts: 1443 - Karma: 15
Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?
Cause shes a woman.
Mar 4 2008 5:07PM
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mellifluous
Posts: 1682 - Karma: 68
what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

where's my tractor?




HAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Mar 4 2008 5:29PM
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al_britskiier
Posts: 419 - Karma: 23

Guy: I went out on a night out the other day, £2, all you can drink
Girl:  Sounds good, where was that?
Guy : Swimming pool...

Theyre always talking behind your back.....Hairdressers

Pregnant woman has massive cravings, she wants some snails, asks her husband to go get her some, before he leaves she says,"now dont be stopping off at the pub on the way,  i wont be happy if you do"  The man agrees and goes off to snails r us for his wife, and gets the snails she wanted.  However, he passes the pub on the way back, thinks just one pint wont hurt, but this leads to more and more pints.  He ends up getting proper wasted.  He arrives home with his wifes snails at 6am, but drops them on the floor at the doorstep.  His wife hears the commotion, opens the front door, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN" screams the woman,  The husband replies, "Come on boys, We're nearly there now"

Well theres my contribution, English humour some of it, so sorry if you dont get it!

Mar 4 2008 5:36PM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
a bear walks into a bar ,the abrtender says; "what can i get you"
the bear says"a.................beer"
the bartender says"why the big pause"
the bear says"cause im a bear"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol
Mar 4 2008 5:50PM
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[]Soul_Steeze[]
Posts: 2357 - Karma: 61

a duck walked into a bar and the bartender says "what can i get for ya?"

the duck asks him if he has any gwapes. the bartender says "hell no, this is a bar, not a grocery store!"

(Next Day)

the duck comes back in and the bartender says "what can i get for ya?"

the duck asks him if he has any gwapes. the bartender says " you just asked me that yesterday, and i told you No!  if your not gonna get somethin to drink, get outa my bar. If you come in one more time askin for gwapes, im gonna nail your stupid little feet to the floor."

(next day)

the duck walks in and goes to the counter and asks the bartender if he has any nails. the bartender says " uh..no why?"  then the duck says "Got any gwapes?"

Apr 20 2008 5:24PM
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rj.
Posts: 3323 - Karma: 28
weiner.
Apr 20 2008 5:38PM
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woolymammoth
Posts: 242 - Karma: 13
how many ski patrollers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
one, he holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around him
Apr 20 2008 5:55PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
how do you fit four gay guys on a stool?
-turn it upside down

what's the difference between a mexican and a couch?
-a couch can support a family

how did helen keller's parents punish her?
-left the plunger in the toilet


Apr 20 2008 5:59PM
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MADmidwest
Posts: 1278 - Karma: 15
-How do you stop a Rhino from charging?

-Take away it's credit card.


OKay that one's stupid but i like racial ones
-What do you throw a drownding black man

-His wife and kids
Apr 20 2008 6:45PM
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samwise
Posts: 2592 - Karma: 36
i posted that one in the other thread... jerk!

but no worries here's my stupidest one

So two ducks walk into a bar. They sit down, and the first duck orders a drink. The bartender serves him his drink, and five minutes later, the first duck drops dead. Horrified, the second duck looks over at the bartender and asks, "Oh my god, what did you put in his drink!?!?!?!"
The bartender leans in real close to the second duck and says..... "Poison"
Apr 20 2008 8:13PM
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carbon.pulse
Posts: 3348 - Karma: 22
A woman is paying for her groceries. She pays for some eggs, bacon and milk. A man behind her says, "You must be single." The woman looks at the man and then at the groceries and says, "Yes, but how did you know?" The man replies, "Because you're ugly."
Apr 20 2008 8:21PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88
ok, so two friends are hunting and the one guy shoots himself...
his friend rushes over. he's not moving.
so the guy calls 911....
"Hello 911!? i have an emergency!!! my friend shot himself hunting, he's dead!"
"Sir Sir, calm down, make sure he's not still alive"
"Chit Chit...BOOM!!!!  ok, now he's definitly dead"

pretty dumb.
Apr 20 2008 8:36PM
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Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
haha

i read this one off a laffy taffy wrapper.
what is a man's definition of house work?
lifting his feet so the wife can vacuum under them.

what did one fan say to the other?
you blow me away.
Apr 20 2008 8:39PM
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zylstra
Posts: 3613 - Karma: 125
did you kinow hellen keller had a really nice dollhouse in her backyard?
neither did she.
Apr 20 2008 8:48PM
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gordie.
Posts: 2014 - Karma: 84
why did helen keller's dog run away?






you would to if your name was UUUUNGG
its way better in person cause the uuung comes as a surprise at the end
Apr 20 2008 9:00PM
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Cloud.
Posts: 1195 - Karma: 16
Why is helen keller a bad driver?





 cuz she is a girl.



 why does beyonce always say to the left to the left?



  cuz she has not rights.




  a man is drivinghis car and hit s a women.. whos fault is it?

 the womens, she shouldnt have been outta the kitchen.


a man is driving his car and hits a wome.. whos fault is it?


 the mans, he shouldnt have been driving in the kitchen
Apr 20 2008 9:00PM
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Alexander_Keith
Posts: 3204 - Karma: 25

A man walks into a bar and pulls up a stool beside a black guy. After a bit of small talk they get talking about football and order themselves another round. Halfway down the glasses the man interrupts the black man and asks him "I don't mean to be forward, but can I offer you a blowjob?" The black guy stands up and cracks the guy in the face and walks over to the pool table. His friend at the pool table comments: "Damn Terry you sure dummied him good, what'd he say to you?" Terry replies "Damn fool tried to offer me some kind of job"

Apr 20 2008 9:11PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88
What the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes? Princess Diana wouldnt be caught dead in a Volvo 


In a hospital waiting room a guy is anxiously waiting for his wife to have their first baby, after 2 hours, a nurse comes bouncing though the labor room doors with a little baby cradled in her arms and asks for Mr. Johnson, the guy proudly announces " that would be me!" he jumps out of his chair and runs over to her and says " is that my baby?", the nurse replies "why yes!" she starts to hand him the baby, and instead, grabs it by the feet, swings it over her head, and slams it into the tile wall and it's brains and guts splatter everywhere; the guy then says "Jesus Christ, what in the hell did you do to my baby ? !!!!" she replies, "April Fools!, it's already been dead for an hour."


Two brothers are opening presents at Christmas. The younger brother has 20 presents and the older one only has one. The younger brother says to the older one, "Haha, I have 20 presents you only have one!" The older brother replies "Haha, you have cancer."



Why did hitler really kill himself? He saw the gas bill.



There were three men who were lost in the forest, and they were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king then told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. First step of the trial is to go to the forest with the cannibals and gather ten pieces of the same kind of fruit.

    So all three men went separate ways to gather fruit. The first one came back to the village and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten by the tribe." The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was killed, eaten, and went to heaven.

    The second man arrives at the village and shows the king his ten fruits--blueberries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this would be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, dropped the blueberries, and therefore he was also killed, eaten, and went to heaven.

    The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Jim, why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" Jim replied "I couldn't help it, I saw Bob coming with a cart of watermelons."

Apr 20 2008 9:16PM
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uosdwiSrjewoH
Posts: 4220 - Karma: 122
What do you call a man with no arms and legs lying in a pile of dry leaves?

Russel

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean?

Bob

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Eileen

What do you call a chinese woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene

Whats better than winning the Paralympics?

Walking


Apr 20 2008 9:25PM
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twin-tip-hero
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 277
you sick bastard. haha that is funny but oh so wrong
Apr 20 2008 9:32PM
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kzrstf
Posts: 2778 - Karma: 695
why is there no mexicans at olympics?
all mexicans who can jump high or run fast have already left their country

What do we do with black when they die
you take their skins to make swimsuit
...
what do you do when the swimsuit are screwed up?
You fill them with shit to make more blacks
Apr 20 2008 9:45PM
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carbon.pulse
Posts: 3348 - Karma: 22
haha i loed so hard
Apr 21 2008 2:31AM
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freezed
Posts: 12973 - Karma: 500
best joke in the whole thread


hahahah
Apr 21 2008 3:00AM
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UNREAL
Posts: 3989 - Karma: 23
What is green, has four legs, and if it fell out of a tree and hit you, you would die?




A pool table.
Apr 21 2008 9:25AM
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Hannah.
Posts: 4625 - Karma: 56
what do u call a blonde with two brain cells?


PREGNANT
Apr 21 2008 10:07AM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
What do you say to a black jew?

















Get to the back of the oven!
Apr 21 2008 1:50PM
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Alex_G
Posts: 11902 - Karma: 1,019
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road??

Because he had no guts.
Apr 21 2008 1:57PM
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Dylan_
Posts: 9824 - Karma: 1,403
whats long, black, and smells..... the welfare line
Apr 21 2008 2:03PM
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bibs_skibum
Posts: 4462 - Karma: 449
oh this is wonderful.  I lold and rofled and jizzed
Apr 21 2008 2:15PM
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Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
i think it would be more funny if you used pineapples instead of watermelons
Apr 21 2008 2:28PM
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zesty_buddy
Posts: 880 - Karma: 28
Andrerw you dirty joke stealer!

These jokes are fricken hilarious
Apr 21 2008 6:33PM
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kzrstf
Posts: 2778 - Karma: 695
what is long and hard for black people?
their 4th grade
Apr 21 2008 7:13PM
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kzrstf
Posts: 2778 - Karma: 695
what is long and hard for black people?
their 4th grade
Apr 21 2008 7:13PM
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white+wolf
Posts: 874 - Karma: 492
How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?









They left the plunger in the toilet.
Apr 21 2008 8:06PM
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white+wolf
Posts: 874 - Karma: 492
I love this thread   

Apr 21 2008 8:09PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
umm, i already posted that, so.........
Apr 21 2008 10:30PM
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Phantom
Posts: 908 - Karma: 180
Ha ha ha, post 100!



A man says while writing his will: "I hope to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers".
Apr 22 2008 12:41AM
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anxju
Posts: 9371 - Karma: 61
PAGE

whats another way to punish hellen keller?


put doorknobs all over the walls.
Apr 22 2008 2:53AM
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