Replying to Why do the weirdest things happen to me.

Alright, so I work at and am the manager of an animal shelter that is close to my house. It was closing time and I was ready to lock up and this woman walks in. I'd say pretty face, decent body, until I realized she had a belly shirt on and a gut.
She comes in and is nuts. Im on the phone and she punches me and says "come on I came all the way down here for you to not be on the phone." So Im like ugh alright (it was a buisness call.) So I get off and she wants to see the dogs we have for adoption. I take her back to the kennel and show her the jack russel and she loves it. So she then starts hanging up pictures of her "famous rich paralyzed boyfriend" all over the dogs cage and throws in a sweathshirt. Weird, but just the beginning.
Like I said she is a raving lunatic. She kept saying she was a prose poet or something like that and started rattling off poetry she made and kept saying "Im an artist." Then she starts to hit on me sort of... then out of no where, like it was someone just asking for a glass of water she looks at me and says "So, you wanna fuck?" I kindly declined and laughed it off a little.
She continues to look at shit. We get back to the office where I have her fill out paper work for the dogs and she starts running around the place taking all the free pamphlets we have. I get her out and tell her I gotta lock up. So I walk out the door and she asks for a ride. Im nice so I said sure. So we're driving and she tells me she has an arrest record and is wanted for 70,000 counts of telling the truth. So then I get to her house and I say "ok bye." She sas nope, you're coming inside and we're drinking, waht do you like. I tell her I don't drink but she wont get out of the car until I go inside. Fine, Im a decently built guy, I could beat off an attacker. So I go inside and the place is a fucking WRECK. Coffee mugs that are weeks old, whiskey bottles all around.
She then continues to hit on me telling me Im sexy and that Im probably a big boy. So I opt out again and say alright i gotta get home. She then yells, wait wait, drive me to the liquor store. Its on the wya home so I drop her off. On the way we pass a cop and she puts on her sunglasses and hides. Im like what the fuck! So I get to the liquor store, she gives me a kiss on the cheek and gets out. Fucking trippiest shit EVER.