NS Sparknotes Version-
Box-cuttered a gash in my thumb. Superglued that shit and I am all better. Superglue+hole in your body= no more hole in your body.
Well I was bored, so I decided to try and cut a slit in a flashlight with a box cutter. I don't know why I decided on this to alleviate my boredom but I ended up stabbing/slicing a gash in the palm part of my thumb. I freaked out when I looked down because I cut really deep, the wound resembled what you would get if you popped a grape open, and I would have needed a couple of stitches, but I thought quick and decided on superglue to solve this problem. This fucker was bleeding like mad and I was holding my hand in a way that it was filling and overflowing with blood, it was crazy. I made it to my van and got the glue out and I rubbed the blood off around the wound and applied a nice amount of glue. Besides a little amount of blood filling up the un-dried glue and turning it red, superglue worked perfectly, so for any non-believers, use superglue instead of getting stitches.