You're joking, right? You must be joking. Or maybe you actually don't check your google and pants sag every time you're in the lift line.
And maybe you were wearing the T-Wolves jersey at the rail jam because you were a little too chilly in just a tall tee. And maybe you were wearing jeans because your ski pants were too wet. Or maybe you had thrashed your ski pants off of your body earlier in the season because your skiing was so Xtreme. And maybe you were wearing an airblaster board leash to carry your change, hair gel, and makeup; perhaps even as a retention strap to compensate for a broken ski brake (I always say "safety first," and perhaps you do, too). Or maybe skiing IS a fashion show, and you need to stop being a douche and shut the fuck up.