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FUNNY SHIT!

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skieveryday
Posts: 660 - Karma: 19
Today I was pumping gas and I was bored and reading MaxiM. They had some jokes...this was fucking hilarious:

A girl has recently become blind from a horific car wreck and is in distress. She asks 'Mommy, will I ever be able to see again?'

Her mother replies 'Yes hunny, the doctor says it's temporary. Tomarrow we'll get some cream for your eyes that will enable you to see again.'

Following a trip to the store the mother applies the cream and wrappes the young girls head in a bandage. The next morning the child runs into her mothers room for her to remove the wrappings. After the bandage had been removed the girl says 'Mommy, I still can't see'

Her mother replies 'I know hunny, APRIL FOOLS!'





I'll tell you where...someplace warm...a place where the beer flows like wine...where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of capastrano...I'm talkin' about a little place called Asssspennnnn...
Jul 21 2003 1:34AM
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P-JO
Posts: 6853 - Karma: 75
that joke just made me feel sad







IM out like a blind kid in laser tag--- --- I'm out like a midget in a high jump competition
Jul 21 2003 1:57AM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
hahahaahahahha thats hilarious


President of the OTC!

Everybody, Lateralis drinks alcohol and smokes marijuana cigarettes. You're burned now, Lateralis! - halo

'ive been shavin since i was in 5th grade, yea the girls made fun of me then, but now they grovel at my feet just to pet me' - Alex aka Ds91260

**NEWSCHOOL UNDERGROUND**
Jul 21 2003 2:09AM
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Line1260x
Posts: 518 - Karma: 10
hahahaha oh man, thats funny






they call me doctor love
Jul 21 2003 2:11AM
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Ds91260
Posts: 9984 - Karma: 19
hahahahahahahahahaha, fuck
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'thats when you smack them upside the head and say 'yo bitch,i know this aint tennis but im a use my backhand!'' - Lateralis

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

Bonnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg
Jul 21 2003 2:29AM
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Danger.
Posts: 3476 - Karma: 58
thats sickeniningly funny
FOUNDER OF CORKED MAGAZINE

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

-j
Jul 21 2003 2:40AM
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icecreamsandwich
Posts: 3207 - Karma: 25
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my. i read that awhile ago. it was my favourite joke in the entire joke world. i love it. stupid kid.

...tell me for the last time that you're sorry so i can laugh out loud as i watch you struggle; broken, bloody and barely breathing...
Jul 21 2003 3:32AM
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Danger.
Posts: 3476 - Karma: 58
there was this other really funny one that i dont remember, oh shit it was really funny though
FOUNDER OF CORKED MAGAZINE

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

-j
Jul 21 2003 3:33AM
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SteveXs2
Posts: 7922 - Karma: 40
I like the little joke in Stuff where they have a chick in a short skirt at the bottom of the page and at the top it says 'if you lay this magazine flat and put your head at eye level you can see up her skirt' and then a little below it it says 'got you again, dad!'
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gethyped.net | gethyped.net | gethyped.net

'ok.. put deodorant on your penis.. then jerk off... then smell your hand,it smells like that'
- Rich (Korawarm)
Jul 21 2003 5:03AM
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UpDawg
Posts: 2373 - Karma: 11
haha that joke is just great, i love jokes like that
____________________
Drop cliffs, not bombs
Make turns, not war
Jul 21 2003 12:10PM
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CrazedSkier1080
Posts: 3357 - Karma: 66
thats soooo funny, there needs to be more asshole jokes in the world

kbus1224: i see how it is, ski movie more important than me?
npublicenemy900: no not the whole movie just Iannick B.
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Proud to be the American captian of the Canadian Drinking Team
Jul 21 2003 12:11PM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
hahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! APRIL FOOLS, BITCH!!! MWAAAHAHAHAA oh god thats funny
====================

what makes me hot?

i would have to say my eyes, or my lips. i love my lips. and my hair. oh god my hair makes me soo wet. and my nose. so very very sexy.
-cj
Jul 21 2003 12:14PM
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C.Royce
Posts: 1031 - Karma: 187
hahahhahahahaha wait no that wasn't funny at all
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styles change, style doesn't
Jul 21 2003 12:14PM
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UpDawg
Posts: 2373 - Karma: 11
of course it was...you just have no sense of humor
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Drop cliffs, not bombs
Make turns, not war
Jul 21 2003 12:16PM
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Lord_Piot
Posts: 3727 - Karma: 13
rough.
___________________
Personaly I believe my short term memory has been affected but that is the main side effect and I also think maybe my short term memory has been affected.

Pimpin since Pimpin be Pimpin been Pimpin
Jul 21 2003 1:41PM
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*cowboy*
Posts: 8830 - Karma: 214
hahaha, hilarious.
-Jason

Member of the lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl Club.

--Creator of the NS Matching Game--
Jul 21 2003 1:44PM
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rhcp
Posts: 2598 - Karma: 18
thats really sick

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'I am so smart, I am so smart. S-M-R-T, wait no, S-M-A-R-T!' - homer simpson


member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.
Jul 21 2003 8:44PM
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icecreamsandwich
Posts: 3207 - Karma: 25
by really sick you obviously mean really funny.

...tell me for the last time that you're sorry so i can laugh out loud as i watch you struggle; broken, bloody and barely breathing...
Jul 21 2003 9:02PM
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Sheltron3030
Posts: 1826 - Karma: 110
i got one:

why doesnt a blonde talk during sex?


because her mom told her to never talk to strangers....

*****************
SFHNC
101/1300

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

Jay Peak Represent

RS4LIFE is my hero!
Jul 21 2003 10:05PM
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Line1260x
Posts: 518 - Karma: 10
uh, kinda funny






they call me doctor love
Jul 21 2003 10:07PM
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Phrosty
Posts: 9956 - Karma: 18
yeah that one sucked.


ThePopeShinesMyShoes
EastCoastPride- ''Dude, just remember the Jesus Steeze and you'll be fine because He will be watching over you.''
Jul 21 2003 10:07PM
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skieveryday
Posts: 660 - Karma: 19
Heres another for you:

Techinical difficulties cause two baseball comentators to become bored. So they begin discussing old baseball stats.

The first commentator says 'Hey, do you know who hit the most home-runs between the years 1955-1975?'

The other guy says 'nope, sure don't'

'Hank Aaron' the announcer replies. 'Do you know who hit the most RBI's between the years 1955-1975?'

The other guy says 'Nope, sure don't'

'Hank Aaron!' Says the announcer. 'Do you know who got hit in the chin with the most balls between the years 1955-1975?'

The other guy says 'Well, I'm just gonna guess Hank Aaron.'

The sports commentator says 'Nope! Liberaci!'




(*For those of you who are sitting there thinking 'I don't fucking get it'...Liberaci, the singer...was a homo.)




I'll tell you where...someplace warm...a place where the beer flows like wine...where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of capastrano...I'm talkin' about a little place called Asssspennnnn...
Jul 22 2003 1:08AM
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fidottio
Posts: 720 - Karma: 9
hilarious


(-.-)
Jul 22 2003 7:40AM
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