PBP in North Idaho

Fuck You!

During an hour long autograph session at a local restaraunt in Sandpoint, Idaho a fight ensued between the PBP crew and a group of white supremicists from Sandpoint. The brawl started when one of the white supremicists refused to let the dark skinned Australian Christian Sirianni sign his son’s poster.

Looming in the back part of the bar were the Oakley girls. After travelling and living with each other for many months the broads periods had synchronized so the single men of sandpoint were walking into a bloody trap. Kristi, the one who almost showed her lower hair in FHM, had been irritated since she arrived for the PBP/Schweitzer shoot. She watched Christian experience classic American racism and decided it was a good move to throw a drink in the guys face. Normally the racist would have had a white hood on his face to absorb the Cosmo, but bare beautiful white skin took the brunt and he began swinging.

Kristi took a punch right on those nice lips and folded. Peter Olenick has always wanted to go to bed with Kristi and defended her by throwing a shuffle board puck at the guy. He then too folded. Michael, who is usually standing next to Pete, dropped his pants and proceeded to take a dump on racist rob’s face. Little did we know, Sandpoint is a major stomping ground for the klan – and they came out of the woodwork. Mike got thumped by the guy standing beside the instigator and he was out. It was on!

All the athletes jumped up from behind the signing table. Anthony ’50 cent’ Boronowski was hiding a baseball bat in his oversized velvet sweat pants. He pulled it out and started swinging wildly. He hit Cody Carter in the head taking him out of the fight and leaving us one man down. Matt ‘the rat’ Walker dropped to his hands and knees and scurried around on the ground and started biting ankles. His head was stomped on shortly after.

Daddy to be Tim Russell got thrown down the stairs and had to go have an ultrasound today to make sure everything is still on track. Back in the thick of things Chris Benchetler, Kyler Cooley and Heath Ordway were being gay, jerking each other off, so they just stood there like total skier fags.

John Symms had added up the bill and finished paying it when he heard the ruckess. Greta had just finished taking a massive shit and changing her tampon when she too heard the noise and came runnin’. Greta immediately starting biting men left and right, sinking her teeth deep into their forearms; she kept farting every time she clinched her jaw.

The fight broke down when Simon snapped a guys neck, and we all peaced to another club. Shits cool and crazy like that in Sandpoint. We took the alley way to the new spot and the fun kept coming. We saw two bums and everyone had to piss. Andreas, who eats six hamburgers at a time, pulled out his gigantic Norwegian Viking oar of a penis and pissed like a firehose on the bums. Everybody followed his lead, even girls’ Oakley team manager Liesel Holtz pulled down the thong and dropped yellow mixed with blood on the homeless. Shit was sooooo super fun.

The mob turned the corner and saw the purple school bus driven by Ed who had picked up a hitchhiking clown named Yuko, who insisted on us watching his mixtape seen here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZofZ_WHi6FA). On the way towards the bar we stopped at a stoplight with some local Sandpoint hood rats still dripping from their last customers. After Sammy Carlson repeatedly got turned down by local sluts he was getting a little impatient and tossed a handicapped sign across the street while Yuko pounced on the sluts who were now seeing who could pop open a Champaign bottle first with their pussiess and banged the shit out of them while playing poker with Craig Coker. Local bicycle cops questioned underagers Matt Walker and Simon Dumont (a.k.a. Pep Fujas) who both told the cop fuck you and proceeded to outrun the fat cop on his bike with there super powers and sense of direction. Pep if you want your id back drive to Northern Idaho.

Steve Rosenthal was later found in the bathroom passed out on the toilet with an empty 30 of PBR at his side, and a hooker riding his cock and shitting at the same time.

Craig Coker managed to snag some sandpoint snatch in the back of the bus but as he was exiting the purple bus to enter the bar he tripped on her big left titty and fell out, faceplanting on a car before smacking the pavement and ruining his pb and j.

At the new nightspot Brian Becker got denied by some 400 pounder. He was so pissed, he started running rampant around the joint. He knocked the DJ out and flopped his cock onto the decks and started mixing mad tunes. Erik Seo cleared the dance floor and busted out a mean electric eel. The 400 pounder was so into it, she jumped on Seo and suffocated the poor cunt. She took him home and put him on her mantle piece next to her stuffed squirrel.

Continuing his streak of ski resort owner’s wives, Pete Alport was busy during most of the nights activites snowplowing the shit out of Mrs Schweitzer Mountain aka “doon-koon”. She came out into the bar furious, her face drenched in semen, cursing at Pete who had already left the scene of the crime. She looked to her husband for support as she licked her lips, and continued to cuss at Pete telling him that we weren’t allowed to shoot on the hill no more. Way to break up the party bitch!

That’s how it goes. Tough break PBP. It’s raining here anyway. Til next time.

Warren Miller