Harwood. They nailed it whoever wrote this. You must read this.
A high school (the whitest) in central Vermont determined by the 2006
"No Child Left Behind Act" to be "In need of Improvement". Could this
because Harwood has had 3 principals in the past 2 years? Or could it
perhaps be because Harwood is rumored to be the birthplace and current
breeding ground of our nation's supply of white trash? Should you be
attending HUHS you will more than likely stumble upon our tobacco
chewing, 1975 Chevy truck driving, sno' chine riding, knife carrying,
Dale Earnhardt (Jr) loving, Carhartt wearing, Bud' drinking,
deer/moose/duck/people hunting, wife beating, incestual Redneck
population whose population outnumbers the amount of (crackwhores in
the white trash) (incompetent teachers here at harwood) (Cows in all of
Vermont). If the first two hazards of attending Harwood haven't already
sucked out any miniscule amount of educational potential you may have
had before attending, the birkenstock wearing, pot smoking, Global
warming worshipping, granola bar eating, Bob Marley loving, greasy
haired hippie-stoners are sure to distract you just enough that you may
not notice the amount of incompetent teachers with GEDs and High School
Degrees teaching AP classes. Unless, of course, you belong to the ever
prevalent band geek population whose collective ego surpasses that of
Oprah (Neo-Jesus) and Kanye West COMBINED. Their ego however, is not
the only large aspect of their otherwise socially-retarded lifestyle.
Oh no, every school-wide assembly has AT LEAST 24.753 minutes of
hardcore, Band/Jazz Band/Chorus performances through which the entire
school body sitting in the audience looks to the ceiling cursing at god
for not making him or her deaf. (hoping one of the abrnomally large
bricks would fall and land square on his or her forehead). And just
when you think you couldn't have a more disappointing and depressing
day than you just had, you walk out to your car, or rather, you slalom
your way and dodge your way through 3 lanes of teen driving in the snow
at its best, bumper cars. Only to arrive at your snow covered car where
you discover huge ass anarchist symbol painted on the side of your car,
which you quickly realize could only be one of the three goths
attending Harwood, whom post pictures of their obese selves with black
hair, black eyeliner, black teeth, black hoodie, and black fishnet
stocking ripping at the seems with the caption "I'm such a whore" on
Myspace.
In case that wasn't comprehensive enough, try ordering a
sandwich in the lunch line. Should you not get reprimanded by one of
the 5 white-haired, senile, and power hungry lunch ladies for
pronouncing "lettuce" like "tomato", and also manage to type your lunch
code in correctly within your first 7 tries I'm sure you'll discover
either a long and curly pubic hair, dead fly, or denture adhesive
waiting for you within your first bite.
Perhaps you haven't heard,
but HUHS is home to the Washington County KKK chapter of Vermont. With
a 2004 census confirming 99.87% of students being caucasian and a
WHOPPING .13% African American you might wonder for how much longer our
.13% can stay alive out here in Cracker country.
Some High Schools
have celebrities pass through their doors, such as Tom Cruise, Keith
Ledger, or even Madonna, well Harwood is no different. The most famous
of our graduates murdered an employee of a local pizzeria with a high
powered scoped rifle, while self-claiming he was under hallucinogenic
mushrooms.
But really, Harwood isn't that bad of a place to go to
school for 4 years of your childhood, look on the bright side with 30%
of graduates attending college, there isn't much competition for
applying to college, or even for valedictorian.
Obese Harwood Union High School student 1: "Hey man, you wanna go grab something from the Al-A-Carte line for lunch today?"
Obese
HUHS student 2: "Nah man, I Can't, the white trash table is right in
front of the line, and I can't risk catching Syphilis this time of the
month"
Anorexic blonde freshman at Harwood Union High School 1: "Hey, will you come to the bathroom with me?? omigod"
Anorexic blonde freshman 2: "No, remember, that goth lit the soap dispenser in the bathroom on fire earlier today??"
