one of these fuckers
I stopped abruptly as to not turn the grouse into a quarter chicken dinner. He slowly turned around, looked me up and down, and then, just turned back and kept peacefully waddling through the bushes.
He didnt even bother to pick up any speed... Christ, I felt insulted... I mean, if I was able to easily fit into a bucket of kentucky fried chicken, and I saw a big skinny gangly lookin kid rip towards me, I'd probially take off.
But no... this grouse just continued to waddle down the tracks and paid no mind to me and my one hundred and twenty pounds of pure manly man...
so i was just like...
"ima chase you ma fucka !"
the grouse saw me rockin towards him again... and this time, he knew it was on... he took off as fast as his little grouse legs would carry him... he was dipping through the tightest sections of trees possible, setting bear traps, and trip wires and shit, but i was like, fuck that ! you're mine ! and i chased him to the end of a cliff !
We both stopped... our eyes locked... we knew it was a battle to the death...
He puffed up his feathers and started making some sort of freaky ass noise at me !
This like. honestly scared the hell out of me... I dropped the cliff and skied for my life !!!
The craziest thing, he dropped the cliff too. and kept chasing me !!! Now the hunter had become the hunted... i was picturing the news articles.
"skinny kid found at big white picked limb from limb BY A GROUSE !" they would read
I just couldnt let that happen. I made it to the groomer, and left that grouse choking on my rooster tails.
thats right bitch... matt 1 grouse 0
rock on...
