Replying to Too many essays

I've got 4 essays due by friday. 2 research papers and one 2 page story and 1, 4 page economics essay about the state of our countries economy. I'm working on the two page story right now. If anyone would like to write a 3 page research paper with block quotes and proper citations and all that mla bullshit about film in the 60's i would appreciate it. Also, a 3 page research paper on barracuda's would also be greatly appreciated. that one dosent even have to be good. just 3 pages of info about barracudas. i'll send you some illin records or something if you do.