Best Pick Up Lines

hey bitch
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Personaly I believe my short term memory has been affected but that is the main side effect and I also think maybe my short term memory has been affected.

Pimpin since Pimpin be Pimpin been Pimpin

Bad Pickup Lines
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If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.

Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

Guy: 'Would you like to dance?'
Girl: 'I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you.'
Guy: 'I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants'

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.

Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.



That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

You must be carrying acetone because my eyes are glued to you.

Do you like gin and platonic, or scotch and sofa?

I'm pretty sure the best kissers are from Canada, but do you wanna try and prove me wrong?

On the sixth day God made you and said, 'Perfect.'

Bumper sticker: If you like staring at my bumper, you gotta check out my headlights.

Hey, there's a room upstairs if you wouldn't mind having casual sex with a person with herpes.

Seriously baby, don't worry, I had a vasectomy.

If you were a machine, you'd be out of order by the time I was done with you.

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac. Do you know how to play dead?

I want to be naughty as often as possible since when you spank me it isn't a punishment.

Are those Guess jeans? 'Cause guess who wants to get into 'em.

I wanna use your thighs as earmuffs!

You're like a championship bass -- I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.

I am pregnant with a baby elephant...do you want to see the trunk?

Nice tattoos -- do you have any more that I can't see?

I wish you were a carousel at Wal-Mart so I could ride you all day long for just a quarter!!

Shut up and kiss me.

My heater broke. Would you come back to my place and make it all hot and steamy?

My bed is broken, can I sleep in yours?

Are those jeans from Express? Good, maybe they won't take much time to take off then.

Your eyes change color? Hmm. They're blue now. Let's see what they look like in the morning.

Hi, you just got a phone call. It was your mom, and she said it was okay if you come home with me tonight.

Look at all those curves, and me with no brakes!

My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!

I think you've got something in your eye. Oh nevermind, it's just a sparkle.

Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars?

Are those space jeans? Because your ass is outta this world.

I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} OOh it says your gonna call me soon!

Q: What are you looking at?
A: Oh. I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Q: What's your name sexy?
A: Taken!

He: Haven't we met before?
She: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.

He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.

Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking.

Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

Q: Is this seat empty?
A: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

'Is it hot in here, or is it just you?'
Response: 'No I think your excess weight is taking all the air!'


=========================
^Rowen^

Why?

'You're watching the Family Learning Channel. And now, angry ticks will fire out from my nipples.'
- Excerpt from Rejected, a movie by Don Hertzfeldt

hey, i'm really drunk, are you?(in a drunk slurr)

RES
Just say fuck it and huck it!

piot knows where it's at.. a simple 'hey bitch, what's your name' will probably do it.. u gotta be all smooth and shit too


Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.
What time is it... saturday?
50 nuts in your mothafuckin' mouth

how bout pizza and sex? and after she slaps you you say whats a matter? you dont like pizza?


'...all fled before his face. All save one. There waiting, silent
and still in the space before the gate, sat Gandalf upon Shadowfax.'

'It's not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been clouding my mind since we left Lorien. Something draws near, I can feel it.'

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10, 1 to do it, and 9 to say 'I can do that.'-petek

'Dude, we're sick. He's pretty sick, but his muscles aren't as big as mine, so you know.'-CR Johnson

dont beat around the bush-
So you wanna fuck me, or am i wasting my time?



'what can we do to stop this war?'
'Leagalize PORN'
'Its allready legal'
'Not the kind i like'
Proud member of the official NS Ogre team, and NS communist party and OTC
***NEWSCHOOL UNDERGROUND***

Lick your finger, wipe it on her, and then say, 'Let's go back to my place and get you out of these wet clothes.'
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NS Naked Club

'I'm a love pirate and I'm here to steal your booty. YAAAAAAAAR!'
-Must be done with a Pirate accent in order for her to bone you.
__________________
NS Naked Club

'Are you a parking ticket, because you've got F-I-N-E written all over you'
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NS Naked Club

hey. you're hot. let's have sex.

-straightforward and to the point

:::Jeronimo:::

'Hey everybody! Lateralis drinks alcohol and smokes marijuana cigarettes! You're burned now, lateralis.' -Halo

Camp of Champions, Session B

introduce yourself, if your good looking you dont have to try...if not, have confidence....
**************


'Pure, like a cup of virgin blood mixed with 151, one sip will make a nigga flip' nas

***NEWSCHOOL UNDERGROUND***

You: Do you want to have sex?
Girl: No.
You: Mind holding still while I do?

How about 'I started a thread on a skiing website to find out how to pick up chicks', then she'll think you're really cool, ass.

Your a dick ^ he put this under the NON-SKI GABBER where is says right underneath 'You can talk about anything here'
*******************
Accept no one's defitnition of your life: Define your self. Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
- Terrible One

JBarmb(lineskinj): east coast is to high strung

actually it says Use this forum, and only this forum for all things non-ski related. Talk about partying, girls, guys, the weather, whatever turns your crank!
I was wrong ha
*******************
Accept no one's defitnition of your life: Define your self. Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
- Terrible One

JBarmb(lineskinj): east coast is to high strung

how much did those breatsts cost?

I need a shed to park my tool

you think this is impressive...this cole sore is just getting started..

aren't yoou from the bus?

i think my mother has that some dress

can i stay here untill it is safe back where i farted?

you can download a whole bunch off of kazaa

*~*SUPER BUNNY*~*

slow minded

olives taste good

how can a fat cow get all the way over the moon??

Yes - I did notice that this wasn't skiing related - I am not objecting to this, nor was that the point of my post. Take out the word ''skiing' from my original message if you like.

if you were a booger i'd pick u first


________________________________________
***tubgirl is me hero!

~:KeviN:~

^^^haha

*~*SUPER BUNNY*~*

slow minded

olives taste good

how can a fat cow get all the way over the moon??

myword of the day is 'legs'.
Wanna go upstairs and spread the word?
I had a life once..... but then i started boarding

guy: yo
girl: hi
guy: wanna lemme eat u out?
im sooo smooth wid da ladies



jigga say wha??

bet you score ALL the time! haha
I had a life once..... but then i started boarding

i gotta try that one
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God is a concept by which we measure our pain - John Lennon

Listen to Bob Marley

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life. So get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!

hahaha



jigga say wha??

Nice shoes, wanna fuck????

How do you like your egss in the morning?
Scrambled or fertilized

Is your daddy a jicmaker cause your veryfine

I aint no fred flintstone but i can make your bed rock
$$$$$$The South Will Rise Again$$$$$$


I killed your cat, you druggy bitch!! I thought it would bring closure to our relationship!!!- Boondock Saints

'hahah oh god lag wagon you aregetting gayer by the day' - dspin7x

the shoes one has worked
$$$$$$The South Will Rise Again$$$$$$


I killed your cat, you druggy bitch!! I thought it would bring closure to our relationship!!!- Boondock Saints

'hahah oh god lag wagon you aregetting gayer by the day' - dspin7x

has it really? u must've been w/ some huge slut with gonnasyphiherpes.
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God is a concept by which we measure our pain - John Lennon

Listen to Bob Marley

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life. So get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!

just whip it out and stir her drink with your Johnsonville.

----------------
'Dude, check out this nasty gouge.'
'Your mom has a nasty gouge.'

Turn up the cool. Turn down the suck!!!

Buy her a paps blue ribbon and say
'I got you a blue ribbon for being the prettiest thing i've ever seen.'

221 knows his shit




T*H

'you know, were just like dolphins, lets go have human sex'
________________________

my teacher : don't smoke pot it makes you stupid
ME : shut up bitch
My teach : go to the office and don't talk to me that way
ME : fuck you im leaving
Teach : go to the office
ME : no, but im leaving
Teach : where do you think your going
ME : to smoke a blunt you flaming hippie fag.

that would be funny, the real exchange was not nearly as graphic. but the same ending.

'How about we go back to my place and play trains; you sit on my face and I'll chew chew chew'

those are some good ones

-Ryan

everyone basically said all the ones i knew

-Ryan

haha those r great


hoked on foniks wurked fur me.kant u tel?
jigga say wha??

They call me Zaxl Roze.. bitch
Your Daddy works in porno, now that your mommies not around. She used to love her heroin but now shes underground.~ Guns N' Roses My Michelle

'you know how some guys have to buy really expensive cars to make up for certian, well..shortages? Baby, I don't even own a car!'





Never try to mix cool-aid with a wisk, it just doesn't work.

'I built a car that runs on love! It's been out of gas for 2 months :(





Never try to mix cool-aid with a wisk, it just doesn't work.

wow, those clothes look great on you...but I bet they'd looke better crumpled up on my floor in the morning

is that a mirror in your pocket, cause I can see myslef in your pants

how much?

sorry if some of those were in that super long list...I checked and couldn't find em
Thank you for reading my post,
have a nice day :)

***the thing I like about highschool girls, is I keep getting older but they stay the same age!
****I don't just huck, I suck
***Actually my name isn't even James!
****Hugs not drugs!
***can't we all just get along?
****I hate hate
***visit my crappy website...OR ELSE!
****I flunked out of school cause I'm hardcore!
***the REAL creator of the NS.com cousin exchange program!
****How are you gonna learn to party in school, MOM!
***Official whistle toting deputy ski patrol.
****Andrew and I (standing in liftline) : 'DILLHOLE!'
guy up front (while raising hand): right here!
***Don't drop your pocket!
****I'd like to give a special thanks to gsqueen, who named her thread after me...my 1st very own thread
***stuhalverson: slickjamesjik, your signature is to damn long!!! eliminate the spaces or something.
****conceptkid: nah, i think this forum sux becuase of slickjames and his completely gay sig. shorten it up and people might start coming back. I think montana is pretty sick for skiing, maybe not in missoula but in whitefish for sure. Im gonna stick with montana skiing and no waiting in lines at lifts
***linechick1260: james after reading your signature i forgot what the post was about....that means its too long...
Big-L: dude. you have to shorten your sig. man, like that is rediculous

Don't hate me because of my signature!

i may not be fred flinstone but i can really make your bed rock

do you work at subway cause you just gave me a one footer

Sucessful
-wanna join my club?

Failed
-is that a keg in your pants cause I wanna tap that ass?
-a night of star gazing, sure, I'd love to do taht with you.
-you're such a bitch
-you're such a whore
-you probaly hate me now
-ya, I wish I was dead too.

-Pat
WBP|films

This one's for guys, but...

'Do you have some Irish* in you? No? Would you like some?'

*insert whatever applies to you...



'Seduce my mind, and you can have my body. Find my soul, and I'm yours forever.'

Are you irish? Cause my dick is DUBLIN
$$$$$$The South Will Rise Again$$$$$$


I killed your cat, you druggy bitch!! I thought it would bring closure to our relationship!!!- Boondock Saints

'hahah oh god lag wagon you aregetting gayer by the day' - dspin7x

if i were an enzyme, i'd be a dna helicase so i could unzip your genes

you: I'm a skier.
ho: oh really, like... you race?
you: no I do tricks and stuff, like the snowboarders (lets face it, it's the only way to describe it).
ho: ohhhhh (starting to lose interest), are you any good?
you: Pretty good, I'm actually sponsored by k2 and oakley (stick to name brands). It's pretty sweet, they give us money to go make videos and stuff too.....

hey, i'm a dog, and i need a place to bury my bone.

there are 267 bones in the human body. want one more?

is there a mirror in your pocket? because i can see myself in your pants.

your name must be campbell's, because you're mmm mmm good.

can i pet your kitty?

nice shirt, it would look really nice next to my bed.

hey i have an 8" tongue and i breathe through my ears.

you have 250 bones in your body! want another?

pleased to meet you, i have meat to please you

hey baby, im no Fred Flinstone, but i can sure make you Bedrock

why don't you come sit on my lap and we'll talk about whatever pops up first

"if I asked you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?"

I think I heard that here on NS awhile ago, pretty great one cause you can't lose.