A drunken night in Moscow

This is long night i had a few months back, so dont gripe about its length

okay soo this one time...

I started drinking at 2PM on a saturday afternoon, nothin extreme. first weekend back to college. drinkin outside with what was left of a pony keg enjoying the day. at 5 I get a call to come to my friends house he was throwing jungle juice party at 8 and I would get my cup free.

I walk to his house a mile away at 9pm, I get there to see its only his gf and him getting ready. im feelin awkward because I was drunk and thought alot more people woulda been there, so i pound a 1/2 bottle of wine i brought with me and fill it up with his disgustingly strong concoction. more people show up and i drink a 3 more wine bottles full of that shit, had to have been over 18 drinks rigth there we estimated with all the gallons of vodka he mixed it.

The night up to 1:30am is pretty much me chillin dealin cards with all the people there demonstrating to some freshman how not to impress women when piss ass drunk. Its also at this point i start to black out. some old dorm friends years ago show up and i decide to go back with them to their place about 2 miles away, he was sober and drove 3 other people there.

from 1:30am to about 3am we play beer pong and i bum about 8 of his beers for the games. I blacked out at about 2:30'ish and before they went to bed at 3 apparently i burned with them.

I barely remember any of the rest of night but from the following days i know what happened so I will tell it what happened.

I passed out for about 2 1/2 hours i dont know where, it had to have been in someones backyard or field. I wasnt wearing contacts and had oakley gasket glasses on with reef flip flops. during when i passed out i lost my glasses and my left flip flop. i was about a mile from the party and had about half a mile to get back to my apartment when i started pounding on some random house in a residential neighborhood. the time now is 5:30am sunday morning. the two are getting worried because some guy is pounding on their door trying to get in and falling down in their yard. they call the police for a "welfare check" and i must have just left. my next conscious thought was walking down the main street in town on a one way and a cop flippin a bitch to stop me on the sidewalk.

She and a bike cop arrive and this is when i start to snap into consciousness from the night. they start asking me all these annoying questions like: can we see some ID,which ways north and why dont you have a flip flop on your left foot, where are your glasses, why are your eyes blood shot and why is your sweatshirt all wet? Well, as I told you, the reader, i lost my glasses and flip flop somewhere in the middle of a field or forest or backyard or wherever and my sweatshirt and pants were went due to the urine expelled from my body while i passed out. I tried to be smooth and play it off as spilt water, i dont think they bought it...

after some more sluething on their part they deduce im drunk, apparently i admitted to "slight" drinking, but I didnt remember because i was sloshed and all this was a blur. when she finally hands me my MIP (im 20, 21st is in december 06') i see her names Dani, so keeping true to my charm, i bust out singing Dani California. Keep in mind im drunk, slurring my words, barely able to stand up...and have piss all over his sweatshirt and shorts. her and the bicycle cop werent amused.

oh yah, ive known both of these cops from fire scenes and quarells of management of the scene break out between firefighters and cops, so they were more than happy to dick me over at a low point.

i passed a church at 6am or maybe later, getting ready for mass, i heard the music and singing, it was right next to the street. the rest of the 10 minute walk home i went in and out of consciousness, comprehending the MIP in my hand.

i guess the theme that ties this all together is, always wear a parachute, because when you can barely hold onto the ground, its nice to pull the ripcord and just float.

oh yah, heres the police report too, i found it amusing:


06-M08164 Welfare Check
Incident Address : 244 North Lilly St; c/Asbury
MOSCOW ID 83843
Responding Officers: Jesse Applehan, Dani Vargas, Dan Bruce
Disposition : ACT
Time Reported: 05:41
Cad Comments:
Report of a possible diabetic problem. Officers responded and determined it was
intoxication. No report.