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The "Official" Poetry/Freestyle/Remix Thread

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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287

I'd just like to have one thread where everyone can show their creativity.  I don't know about other people, but I'm always making up little rhymes and remixes to songs I hear, and I'd like to see what other come up with.  Doesn't have to be ski-related or anything, feel free to post any type of poem or w/e you want.

I'll start it off with an 2 old remixes from about two years ago to 50 cent's 'Candy Shop':

I'll take you to the auto shop.
Escalade with the four inch drop.
Rims spinnin like they'll never stop.
Don't touch it cause damn it's hot! Ohhhhh!

I'll take you to the barber shop.
I'll shave a little off the top.
On the floor your hair will drop.
Keep cutting till the razor stop, Bzzzzzzzzz


as uncool as they may be, this is just a small example of what i like to do.  If more people post, i'll bring out some of my other stuff.

Nov 22 2006 11:38PM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
BUMPATRON

GZA"Publicity" Remix

http://www.soundclick.com/updateband/songInfo.cfm?bandID=676981&songID=5507844
Jun 30 2007 8:45PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
bump cause i gotta get back into it, and i listened to all of twix's stuff, again new and old.  i really like a few of the beats, and i find myself just looping it and trying to think of stuff.
Jul 7 2007 3:19PM
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lost666v.2.5
Posts: 50 - Karma: 10
in my sig
Jul 15 2007 6:28PM
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unchyll
Posts: 4554 - Karma: 96
My shit is so RIPE
its to fast to Type
takes some cats on here all night
just to put up the littlest ryhme battle fight
the shit that comes from my lips
is equal or greater to the sex vibes coming from shakiras hips
aw shits i got some salsa on my dorito chips
Jul 16 2007 7:49PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287

aright well here's an away message i made today so i might as well post it as a bump.

Sing to John Mayer's "Waiting"


Now if we had the power, to bring some waves on in to shore.
we would never check a webcam, never look online no more. 
and when you check the television,
and the weather's looking hot,
well we head down to the beach now, cause a board is what i got.

but i'm still waiting (waiting)
waiting for the waves to change.
i keep on waiting (waiting)
waiting for the waves to change

Mother nature just ain't fair,
and there's no wind in the air,
so we keep on waiting
waiting for the waves to change.


if you don't know the real words then check the lyrics cause i tried to stay close to them

Jul 28 2007 9:42PM
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SirFryanator
Posts: 11149 - Karma: 1,415
spark up the pen let the burning ink split
the end of the paper that my rhymes just lit
just watch as my combustion brings you down to size
turn your face towards the sun and watch my fame rise
I start out locally battlin the ones
that think I'm not hood enough to spit the rhymes out son
My hand ain't too steady but I write with steez
enough to make some of y'all get down on your knees
the truth I might spit shakes your mind like an earthquake
it's not really even about the noise that I might make
pay attention to the lyricology that is in demise
from MTV and whatever might be eaten by its hungry eyes
money is temptation that cannot quite be beat
the Lord in the sky has helped me with my feat
of giving me the talent to rhyme like no other
I'm a scholar I'm a poet don't tell me no brotha
yeah for real
I don't got to steal because I really understand the value of a hard earned $20 dollar bill
Took me 10 minutes to write this small masterpiece
It's about time now for me to go and say peace
May the peacetime reign and the biased decease
keep on livin chill peeps now I go to the street

---

come on peeps you ain't got nuthin on me
I fight for pursit of happiness and liberty
I sit right down and smoke the tree
babblin lyrics like notorious B.I.G
can't you feel the ripening synergy
my work comes all together in harmony
keep up the high end energy
we've all really come here to see me
rockin the sick flow
rhymin until I blow
I might not be a gangsta but the styles in my clothes
I don't own a glock but I don't smoke rock
My rhymes are just as dope as tupac
I'm the college professor, the lyrical MC
Rappin and reppin for the NGP
Jul 29 2007 2:54AM
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SirFryanator
Posts: 11149 - Karma: 1,415
matt's in the house throw your hands in the air
shake your bodies in the club like you just dont care
puffin on blunts we all stay high
I'm flyin higher in the sky than the average guy
I school your ass whether it be on the street
or on an online forum keepin it neat
no blood no tears no sweat or fear
except from the lyrics you about to hear
this thread on NS will be bumped to the top
this place be so silent you can hear a pin drop
come on people you be a quiet crowd
the beat in my mind is gonna make you loud
Jul 29 2007 2:56AM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
few new ones on here. and wanted to bump this for dem writers in dem der woods

http://www.myspace.com/thedarthfiend
Aug 4 2007 6:19PM
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heFF
Posts: 5786 - Karma: 4,456
i'm very sorry about your father
Aug 13 2007 4:17PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
finally back here's a little quick one to bring it back to school rhyme season:

here's to you summer, mostly wasted away,
could've done so much but did nothing each day.
just sat around nights and most afternoons too,
asking other friends "man what should we do?"
but there was really so much, just no time for it all,
could've done more if i hadn't played ball .
now the days are getting shorter and the nights getting cold,
freedoms taken away- we'll do what we're told.
but it wasn't all bad, i still had fun every day,
no matter the score i laughed in every inning we played.
i sweated like crazy and caught up on my sleep,
i went to new zealand, saw millions of sheep.
i never payed for the beach, always got in for free,
had to get there before 7 so no one was there to charge me.
so maybe it wasn't so bad, not too much of a waste,
cause summer memories last forever, can never be erased.
i hope you enjoyed your summer, i hope your vacation was nice,
but now listen closely, pay attention to my advice:

school starts again and the leaves start to drop,
but just because summer's over doesn't mean the fun has to stop.
Sep 4 2007 2:11AM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
im gonna start one soon that i may or may not use for a school talent show kinda thing.  it's sometime later in the school year so i figure i'll start working early, and try to suprise everyone. 

im having trouble thinking of a subject though and just getting started.  i'm a senior in high school so im leaning towards something like that, but i could always go the funny or deep route.   i'll post if i start something up
Sep 16 2007 7:39PM
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statuswhitegirl
Posts: 4058 - Karma: 883
http://putfile.com/rapsongs
thats my collection
Sep 16 2007 9:33PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
spoken word thing i did yesterday that i don't like but thought i would post since this thread popped back up...

she had all the time in the world on her hands
stained in invisible ink only humans could see
she placed her clarity on the table next to the stars in her eyes
along with her gaze on the wrinkle of her infinite birthday
sans-focus it was a flourescent ink on a band of forever
her eyelids were dressed in silver from the moon's reflection
she was inside of them - all of them re-living moments of the future
i tried to speak
a dry crack of the lips, she interupted
her words dripped purple past my eyes
the question "why?" is the longest long, she said
Sep 16 2007 11:09PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287

^spoken word?

and to anyone who participates in this thread, i've been getting some scholarship emails lately (im a senior) and it seems there's a few poetry scholarships going around so you can enter into them.  just a thought if your looking into college.

Sep 16 2007 11:11PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
it's a form of poetry used in slams and stuff - it's more hip hop ifluenced, google saul williams or something he's pretty established as a top quality spoken word poet
Sep 16 2007 11:18PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
anyway did you like it?
Sep 16 2007 11:21PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
yea now i understand it more and i really like it.
Sep 16 2007 11:29PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
but do you understand what it means?
Sep 17 2007 12:39AM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
ha well i don't really think so.  i have trouble interperting stories and poems.  i understand like all the words and i kinda get the feel, but i just don't really understand what it means  i guess.
Sep 17 2007 1:15AM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
new one i'm working on, i'll post again when i'mfinished

this is curtains certain lightening cursing
rolls on back of thunderclaps just bursting
whats worse than that the world collapsed under just one person
stomach's lurchin', over-exertion, one word's to little - needs to keep searching
face the rain pitter-patter on the brain but dry lips still thursting
this disdain for bitter patterns come hither madam
i think it will fade, or whither rather, this pain that will split her laguhter
after we give these actors reason to forget her faster

Sep 17 2007 11:34PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
shit after re-reading that i realized it needs serious re-agganging
Sep 18 2007 12:03AM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287

random question.  how old are u?

Sep 18 2007 12:07AM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
17 in a week
Sep 18 2007 9:18AM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
nice.  i've been 17 since march, and it's just been hard for me to find other people my age who do any type of poetry or even creative writing.  i wish i could like find a group or something to get together and just share stuff cause i like hearing other people's views.
Sep 18 2007 9:48PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
thats sucks, it's way different where i live there are  poetry classes and we have slams and stuff my town is a really rich in terms of art
Sep 19 2007 9:40AM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
made a couple today after not really doing anyhing for a while

"the way you do it" little brother remixed
and one called "happy days"
Sep 24 2007 6:19PM
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miroz
Posts: 10333 - Karma: 3,945
first try at this, i liked it

Look at the world today, so discombobulated hated
belated plans of action, oh well we'll try it later
unsatiated thrist for things updated
traded between the void of human spaces
traces of time running places, places unrelated
stated chases and races upon which we build our bases
A basis from which we stretch our homeostasis cases
Sep 24 2007 6:44PM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=676981
Sep 24 2007 7:13PM
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thefilmerguy
Posts: 2847 - Karma: 55
dude, stick that in the middle of a whole rap and that would be one of the sickest flows and or songs of all time given the right feeling and beats
Sep 24 2007 11:54PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
somewhat finished...
this is curtains certain lightening cursin'
rolls on back of thunderclaps just burstin'
what's worse than that the world collapsed under one person.
stomach is lurchin', over exertion
one word is too little needs to keep searchin'
face the rain, pitter-patter on the brain
this disdain for bitter patterns, don't refrain come hither madam
its just shame i think it will fade or whither rather
its this pain that splits her laughter
after we give these actors reason to forget her faster
they dither backwards between shattered last words
cracking pressure, pounding storm battered weathered rafters
the weather cast her miles away, scattered mothers lovers, daughters, pastors
artists, poets, workers, gangsters, dealers, fiends, but who matters
people hurtin, eden's trees seethin in winds of reason
fraught with schemin' treason ceasin' breathin' gimme peace and leave me speakin'...

gimme reason, keep me out the deep end
gimme peace and leave me speakin'
cue the curtains

this is gutter runnin thick with scum and soot, brimmin' trouble afoot
up to knees now nobody sees somehow nobody is shook
sick from feastin' on decievin' gimme clouds to wash me clean then
leave me leanin' on my hopes in between awake and dreamin'
for the sake of sleepin' pretend that we're just doing all we can
take a look, this is the deep end now don't fall from where you stand
nobody is a leader we just follow down the drain
blazing guns, burning hopes riding the spiral we sustain
feign a care for anything but self-righteous or selfish snares
world on welfare, fat lady singin and the world doesn't care.

cue the curtains






Sep 25 2007 9:59AM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
oh ya and that's soon to be over the beat on this page entitled "another beat"
http://www.myspace.com/jamcollab
Sep 25 2007 10:04AM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
sick.  you gonna try to record it?
Sep 25 2007 12:49PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
i'm not just going to try
Sep 25 2007 5:18PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
http://www.mediafire.com/?7tz5xn1dmdn
Sep 27 2007 9:21PM
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miroz
Posts: 10333 - Karma: 3,945
wow, winn, thats sick, i liked the flow
Sep 27 2007 9:38PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
it's really rough, i'm gonna re-do it at some point, theres a bit of mumbleing and such i gotta fix
Sep 27 2007 9:51PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
wow i really liked that now that i heard how the flow was and stuff.  it's kinda hard to tell when you're reading online, but that helped so much and made it sick.  props man, especially if it's just a rough draft
Sep 27 2007 11:12PM
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bitchassphatz
Posts: 6171 - Karma: 107
definately rough. i have adobe auditioner if you want it....i dunno if a new program would help.
Sep 27 2007 11:34PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
nah low quality is cus im using a low quality mic in a room that wasn't designed with acoustics in mind
Sep 28 2007 12:30AM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
version 2, still low quality but better...
http://www.mediafire.com/?c4ox3i3xldj
Sep 28 2007 6:50PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
work in progress...
broken fillaments fillin mens' feet with benevolence
walking on glass eggshells.
some of these shells fell in the streets from on top of people's heads
where they were bright ideas.
others lit the way.
now they lay where they are trod upon by people that don't
feel though their feet bleed.
on this concrete it's hard,
to keep fragile things in one piece.
there are too many cracks to stumble on.
bright orbs circling above children's wide smiles
white and flourescent, innocent.
in a sense all these cents - thought transactions
clinking in the stomachs of congested gutters.
Sep 30 2007 10:29PM
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Genome
Posts: 1170 - Karma: 24
Creep through the night with a scarface mentality,
Mc's step up, but ain't no one who can battle me,
My Lack of faith in the absence of reality,
Cause on this day we all become a fatality,
So i spit on adversity,
Shit on diversity
Your girls clit, go where my verse should be
This aint that old school new school hip,
it that head buzz trip, like your first dip.
Oct 1 2007 12:13AM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
Dilated Peoples' "Bullet Train" (Remix)

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=676981
Oct 1 2007 3:44PM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
Hard Legs (Rough Version)
Oct 3 2007 5:24PM
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miroz
Posts: 10333 - Karma: 3,945
random poem/flow from AP Bio:

10,000 men storm up
they charge the fence
the took it down to the ground
just like all the rest

the killing begins
young lovers killin their kidds
they have no choice have no voice
they get lost in the midst

of the fight
one battle shakes the night
it shakes the might, exploding light
still intilling fright

in the ones we love
a white shining dove
but when they try to fly
it is not enough

to win
the good cant match the sin
sadistic killers dropping tillers
proudly wearing a grin, then

rain drops pitter patter washing tattering clothes
teeth that chatter fatter rich guys picking their nose
poetry pros writing prose, seen beating their hoes
Nobody knows, but they're still writing these flows.
Oct 3 2007 6:43PM
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miroz
Posts: 10333 - Karma: 3,945

another short one from AP Bio:

TV's on, stereo blaring, children staring
scaring parents losing their bearings
No ones caring

Daring daredevils jumping down railings
Failing school cuz its cool no one's caring
Life's not smooth sailing, anger flaring overbearing
Trailing toxic exhaust fumes our young ones inhaling

Oct 3 2007 6:46PM
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nathanielstyza
Posts: 1638 - Karma: 38
so today i was with some pretty straight up hood kids and they just started freestyle rapping outta nowhere and it was crazy as a bitch...ive been might ninspired...this might suck but its a first try....


Yo, give me a chance to let my rhymes flow
I may be a beginner but ill let y’all niggas know
Who be the flyest nigga up in NS
If im frontin on your block u better send out an SOS
I’ll knock your bitch ass out
Nigga I aint messing
And if u fess to the feds,
U can say bye to yo head,
yo head aint doin good if its full up wit lead
so watch it or ull wake up knocked out on the floor
I dare y’all stinky twats to mess wit me again
Cuz ill take u out once more,
And ill kill your best friend
So peace out my homies ill see u in hell
Youll see with me my whole crew as well
We’ll be the ones smoking half ounce blunts pearled from a Cuban
Fuck wit us and there will be absoulutly no excusin
Fuck with the crew youll get your ass popped
You call 911
U cant rely on them cops
Ill clean ur dirty body up wit motha fuckin mops
Oct 3 2007 10:21PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
it's fucking terrible.
the rhyme is somewhat acceptable but the subject is absolute bullshit
Oct 4 2007 6:28PM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
Monkey Soul
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=676981
Oct 8 2007 9:21PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
two new (unfinished):

she came in peace and sleep to speak relief
beliefs were wreathed in violet streaks of broken speech
spoke to teach, florescent reach to break a beat
across the break of dawn and paint a sheet of orange leaves
with heaps of bars piled steep like harvest sheafs
bleak darkest deeps beneath our feet sprung gardens sweet in ardent fleets
fleeting flight flurries of hurried worries retreat from hardened streets
hardly discreet with stars as seats and martyred leaps
disheartened leaf still floats by rocking boats with hard-earned leaks
re-wrote the hope in widened scope before the creaking hull was breeched
high tides hide the beach the seagulls screech and rolling swells repeat
but soon it's low, the churning foam and surging waves slow to a seap
a humming breeze tears free the paper chains of fading green
belated dreams overcast in clouded scenes by means of serenading screams
but sun beams are seams, sewing clouds of cream and blue to make a new day
gleam in trickling streams redeemed by rustling trees....
-
a whispered face to place the most suddle of smiles
while we stand here the world just passes by in huddled miles
traced the grace in puddles of blue splashed on rude back round hues
drab space contrasts with you, if asked the truth there no moment i'd rather choose
this look back passed through, eclipsed by a slender shoulder
stopped in my path where the few moments that i lent her blew over
grew colder in some lost wind full of caution that somebody was tossin'
memory repeats of suddle cheeks and streaks of gold have caused grins
thin silence, vibrant light that makes my wide eyes squint
i spent only moment trying to memorize tints and shades, these shadows hide hints
of beauty, threw me behind my eyelids in moments of serene
a scene seen in true blue through two blue windows stolen from dreams

Oct 16 2007 11:12PM
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