The "Official" Poetry/Freestyle/Remix Thread

yo hold up, lemme grab the mic an roll up, a tight one, burn quick then fuck it ill blaze another hun, i kill niggas for fun, when imin the right mindstate, freestylin is like fishing for sharks with you as my bait, dont hesistate, never late, always blate-ntly disrespect you, a few left in my tech foo, my style is new ill fucking kill you



(bump)

nice lets keep this going

..And in the end, it all becomes clear:

some people die, and some remain here.

For life is a twisted, and perilous track.

Mind dull as a spoon or sharp as a tack.

Who knows what lies around the next turn?

How many things we still have to learn

Before life makes sense to this feeble brain?

With nothing to lose, and so much to gain

I try my best with the things that I've got

compared to some others, it's not a whole lot

but you can't help the hand you've been dealt.

So learn not to regret emotions you've felt.

times being hurt, and opportunities lost.

Happiness rules all, but at what cost?

Live to be free of guilt and sins.

Life isn't a game; nobody wins.

a beat i started on a couple hours ago. most likely gonna change since its kinda repetetive

It's Called "It's Gone"

http://www.myspace.com/thedarthfiend

nice. 

bump, i wanna see some more.  i like what we got.

heres a bit of my stuff:

What Cedric Said
(to me in my sleep)

The selection came so beautifully
because of what Cedric said to me;
whispered to my hard pillow
I found ever so quaint, but ever so
comforting.

Because of what he said; I have learned
so much. In spite of an array of misused
language. Just let me feel!
What the people making the music feel!
Wow, that is just special. How does my
own speech amuse me so well.

I'll wait here just long enough so that no
one between a tooth or a hair can glean me
of my country. Strip them to the spiders so
that no one lives, and give me a profane high five
for that. We are not threatened! Oh, oh how foolish
you have become.

For god's sake, he speaks of chalk outlines.
He whispers about lost ghosts of a future to befall greatness.
He took the veil off his endless pain, and shouted about a
bed of asphalt.
He spoke at length, describing the faults of the daughter of
Miranda, going on to pour me a soup of ice picks.
(They, like nothing else, were personified)
He told me this: It is for you alone.
I knew this statement was valid and credible,
unlike the apocryphal main stream, who by this time,
I had completely written off.

And when you travel the length of the universe
and end up right here where the journey was started,
no more than a decade ago
You, and I;
(We) will remember what Cedric said.

Salmon are American Fish

Acquaintance is such a satisfying word
when keeping star dust in mind.
We often do not take crushed ribs into account
when every grain of strength is being used.
I was once told not to stare at the ground,
but also not to do the opposite or I would go blind.
Keeping these instructions in mind
I looked strait ahead, and all dreams came true
For a fraction of a second.
As soon as it is possible to watch the pavement slip by,
existence becomes like swimming with salmon all winter long.

How I would love to see a rainbow trout
after all these determined fish.
Just swimming in the same swirl, taking the stream as it arrives,
Enjoying vacation.
When I saw one of these brilliantly colored slender animals ahead,
I found my gills had gone once again and the water was suffocating.
But champagne has a way of curing these diseases.
As I left, I was shaken by unimaginable guilt and happiness.
I must have forgotten something, something small,
like a pillow in someone's arms, or smooth glass in my hand.
But what did it matter, at least one soul is overflowing.

if you like it check out my site...www.harrisonharbpoems.cjb.net

I dig it. Some word choice stuff that I would've done a lot differently, but hey that's why it's your stuff and not mine. Good stuff.

nice stuff. 

i rap... ill put sum shit up. i still remember tha last thing i freestlyed to sum black kid at my school who raped about how he smoked purple hae and was "sicker than aids"

heres what i said

son that wack rap shit that you kick is a little inaccurate you fagget bitch,
all the shit that i spit is strictly legit, im a lyrical pro just know this shit.
fresh outta boston my crew stays flossin, houses so big you niggas could get lost in. at age sixteen my flow is mean, and you dont know shit till you smoked my green. we hit fat blunts of bc chronic then we kick back in the pad sippin on gin and tonic.

thats all i remember. thats not verbatim but it went sumthing like that.

Made another one earlier called "What I've Got"

http://www.myspace.com/thedarthfiend

well i have almost 40 pages of ryhmes so i'll pick out some bits for you guys
i'm drawing a blank in black ink
stop to shake, work out the last kink
crows circle the feilds and we watch a little more of the mast sink
break the last kink of this chain
modified to accomodate more than 1000 words in this frame


i want you to keep in mind that the next one is a true story and is all sad and emo

maybe some things that are latent are what they seem
because the fact is it can get so beautiful likes a young girls dream...
she dreamed her mother was dying and needed the golden fruit from out on that tree
when she went outside there it was, plain to see
she picked the fruit to appease her mother's needs and returned to her side
shewas so frail she could be killed by a breeze
the girl got on her knees and gently placed the fruit in her mother's hand
she was too weak to hold it, it fell out with her last strand
the girl felt that as the fruit rolled away
her heart and soul followed, ;eaving her body astray
the girl woke up and died in the next 3 days
it's a sad story and it makes you feel alone
a dream about her mothers death was actually about her own
and thats the power of the subconcious, an enigma that you can't even write
i wonder if  she knew those two days she had already lost her life
of course in retrospect it's so easy to connect her death with her dream
because if nothing even happened i doubt we'd have seen

you're tightening up the turnekit
pockets in the process of learning it
 they're empty like the sockets of skulls at the furthest depths
i resent to play devil's advocate
hipocracy is not about right or wrong, more a matter of respect
how can we see it when we're always in the dark
the bridge between you and us is built of tissue thats why it's ignited with a simple spark
burning bridges between you and your nation
but you cover it up with public relations

i don't care for your reaganomics
reverse robin hood, steal from the poor, give to the rich
becasue you give me a lot less than you restrict
and we give you a lot more so where the fuck is that logic
while the clock ticks there is no effort to stop it
if you'rein a sinking ship don't you try to clog the holes?
theres too many holes, not enough fingers and toes
our songs linger inprose, the singers have nowhere to go
i guess thats how it goes, we no longer have roles
constitutional rights? wait what are those?
forget about that here's the patriot act (this is what you chose)
oh well, i suppose, i mean what could it hurt?
lest see.. for you i've got it written in prose
privacy? forget about that the CIA needs your phones
the prez needs the press to stop exposing what they expose
can we protect our country from our country when we're up too out nose
in blood from the hands of the administration
you can't spell unity from separation, you're missing a "u" and a "y"
thats why i ask why you are separated from i
now i don't even try to understand the plan
iguess thats why im just a man and you are the man
perhaps we need a best country in the world act and a justice act too
how many contradictions can we point at you?
good thing we got them coming out the wazoo
enought to print them out on the sides of our nukes
the whitehouse is stained like this no longer blank page
it can't be washed away by the rain from the cloud that enshrouds your stage
meh it's not that good

^ i don't wanna quote the whole thing, but that was awesome.  thanks for bringing it back too.

stop fartin kid, ill curb stomp you like edward nortin did, im crazy should prolly tighten my lid, but fuck it id rather live than give

made a pretty rough REMIX of They Call It- by Atmosphere


http://www.myspace.com/thedarthfiend

Thoughts of a Wasted Youth

Blood runs through my veins like a capillary
Pulsing into my heart as if a tributary
Anger flashes through my eyes – I am lost in frustration
Tears drip down my cheeks as my body’s libation.

I can feel my muscles clench, my voice starts to drone
Never in my life have I felt so alone
My body shakes, lungs groping for air
But what’s worse – does anyone even care?

The Intelligent Anarchist

Burn it down.

All the fathers who abandoned their wives and kids
For Florida with the office secretary with the big tits

Burn it down.

All the overweight ones who whine about their size
While they eat their fucking Big Mac and fries

Burn it down.

All the innocent people killed every day
Without care, as if there is no peaceful way

Burn it down.

Everyone who accepts their institutionalized lives
Secretly excited when death finally arrives

Burn it down.

Those who call me an immature fool
Just because I give a damn about our consumption of fuel

Burn it down.

All the people who go to Ikea for a nice afternoon
Who’ve never really seen the sun or the moon

Burn it down.

But.
Under no means.
Ever.
Burn.
The Books.

No

No, this isn’t coming out right
I scream to myself In the middle of the night
I have emotions! Why can’t I express them?
I was hoping this time I’d write a real gem
But no, I am left bored, unable to put into word
The things I’ve seen, the voices I’ve heard
Am I a damn robot, void of articulation?
Only capable of drugs and masturbation?
Am I a burnout, slowly fizzing away?
Not a care of the dangers that lay my way
Damn it, no! I refuse to wind up a bum, letting life go by
There’s got to be more to existence then getting high
So no, I will not just fall apart
Hell, maybe I’ll pursue a career in art
But I’ve been saying this every day
I mean, is it really better to burn out than fade away?

For What?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the American Dream
And I’m wondering if things are really as they seem?
I can’t watch these ants – just marching on and on
See people’s dreams disappear from dusk to dawn.

They’ll probably call me a fool, just a stupid youth
But no one else can see the truth
That we spend our whole lives working, ears closed and eyes shut
All I want to know is: For What?

im not gonna quote everyone but they were nice. 

it's good to get this going again, it's nice to see that there are talented people on here in other areas than skiing.

hey thanks man.

yeah, i would really appreciate some feedback

wow, that's really good man. you should watch Def Poetry Jam on HBO.

here are some of my favorite poems:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7lxhxXGG4j8

http://youtube.com/watch?v=C40EUMU3pFc

This one especially:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LbtVepS53t0

damn i wish i got HBO so i could watch more.  those were sick.  i wish more people around me could write poetry or like any rhymes.  everyone thinks that if u rhyme you're trying to be "gangsta" and if you write poetry then you're a fag.  i gotta try to bring it back.

ok well today marks 6 months from the night my dad was shot, so my family met for dinner so we could be together.  it was around an hour drive each way so i had some time to think.  just wanted to try out a new rhyme scheme and see what happens.


if my life was a movie, i wonder what song would play,
on august 25th 2006, the most horrible day.
hours later, the 26th, my dad passed away,
hit by a bullet, but no not a stray.
came to the hospital, they said he'd be OK,
last time i ever listen to what a doctor has to say.

what music would they play in the background at the wake?
camera focused on my face, watching as my heart aches.
zoom out, watch my whole body tremble and shake,
still thinking, "my dads not gone, this is a mistake."

going back now, what song would set the scene?
when i almost died, parents tears would fill the screen.
not a normal asthma attack, the worst they've ever seen,
could've been a death before i was even a teen.
but they didn't give up all the doctors did convene
nebulizer saved my life, im still here because of that machine.

moving ahead now, what song would i hear?
when the wheel fell off my bike, chin split wide and clear.
blood all in my hands, but my house was no where near
finally looked in the mirror and i knew it was severe.
i could see my chin bone, the skin did dissapear
if it wasn't for the helmet i doubt i'd still be here.

what song would finally play in the restaurant where we ate?
family together excpet one, 6 months from the shooting date.
normally he'd be coming, so dinner could await,
but we know he's not coming back, he's not just working late.
waitress asks if it's a special occasion, but a painful mood we won't create,
6 months closer to heaven- where we will again all conjugate.

do you mind giving the story here? i mean, was your dad shot for a reason?

https://www.newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/241250/

the reason i say "not a stray" was because it wasn't some gang members fighting or something.  this guy shot purposely at our car.

i like that. you definitely have some talent

thanks a lot.  im sure you've heard it before, but your stuff (what i've seen) is sick too.

Questioning

It’s a Friday night and I don’t feel so well
Been filling my mind with thoughts of Heaven and Hell
I keep thinking about losing my virginity
Then my mind reverts back to the Trinity
What am I doing in life? What do I want to be?
Does God really care about you and me?
Again I think about women, and now I grow sad
But how does God separate the good from the bad?
I am tired of questioning, I want answers now
I think as I wipe the sweat off my brow.

It May Not Be Love…

It may not be love
But,
It sure does feel good

And

Hell, I want to love you
But I find myself afraid
Where that may take us

And

I want to have those lame
“One Month Anniversaries”
Just to make her happy


But it may not be love

And

How all my problems just seem to
Melt like the glaciers
When you just give me a grin

And

I like that you care when I smoke pot
Saying that I am “burning
My life away.”

But it may not be love


And

I even like those phone conversations
Even though I start to nod off when you tell me a story
About how silly you were as a kid (But it is cute)

But

It may not be love
Right?
I mean
It can’t be love.(?)
Oh shit,
Now I just scared myself.

thanks dude. i like how this is pretty much our own personal thread haha. whatever. hey, if you don't mind, i could really use some critical feedback. i'd be happy to give some, if you want, too

too bad this thread is dying

yea at first i was gonna post it in nsg but then i realized too many people would just do things like "i took a poo, woohoo, look at you."  i'll let it die until i come back with some new stuff.

masturbate, masturbate it is fun
masturbate, masturbate chew some gum
masturbate, masturbate until your dry
masturbate, masturbate do it with guys

you would do it with guys.

Apoem for creative writting about my writting process and what I think about when writting.

i need a title too so if you have any suggestions just throw em out there.


I need to stop procrastinating
All the over contemplating.
Stop waiting for a revelation
One that would make or break this situation.
But why stop
I already know this is going to be a flop.
So I'm still waiting
With my interest abating
Yet this writting is so sedating.
I hope I'm creating a work somewhat aesthetic
Maybe even poetic.
Please don't be too apathetic.

Classic J-Kwon homemade remix
 one, here come s the 2 tot he buckle my shoe
all the cows in the field wanna say moo
takin laxatives so i gotta go poo,
now im in the bathroom makin numba 2

old:
a beautiful mind is always questioned and skepticized
proccessing millions of synapses a second which is more than i can say for the rest of you     guys
the best of you guys can't calculate my rotations
trudge and hike your whole life in a quest for brains end
my head is heavy  thers too much on my mind
holding on trying to comprehend it's own design
a one of a kind one in a billion influence near divine
i'm a needle in a haystack run through with a thread
not finding my way out of here is my greatest dread
the string in my head holds me back
getting tangled ad snagged in cluttered creativity and fact
to back philosophical evaluations up you need experience and observations relatin to problems we've been facin
racin for a slice of happiness most of us deserve
meanwhile i'll get lost in the words, looking for the best way to say how i feel and find hope secured
you'll find it well served that life continues to hide her face
doesnt want to giveclues of her design for fate
and you'll find her everytime with joy, piose, and grace
as long as you have the right lines to trace
and my thoughts will process til she confesses her essance
stop the presses those that live life to the fullest through joy and stresses are the real professors as long as they have the logic to examine their own messes
learn, thats the quintessential realization
live your own life and quit fakin


new:
it's her turn to speak, long pause, her stomache sinks
she says she gets lost, she can't think
but theres something about the way she draws that blank in black ink
the only time we hear her good is on the page
and from what i can see she just wants something to take her away
but you never would have guessed, she looks fine on the outside
simple, very pretty, maybe a little shy
she always wanted a guy to hold on to and understand
but it seem every one wanted to go no deeper than in her pants
so she's frustrated, nobody to talk to nobody to listen
her mom's always gone, dads on a mission
hated the war, it took her father away
she always painted blue skies but kept the ground she stood on gray
thats why she loves birds, they possesed the ability to glide on the wind
to go where ever they want, above everything she hated malls, chain stores, fast food and buildings
she just wanted to leave, sprout wings
she says "how can i follow my heart when it leads such a jagged path?"
if you don't stay on your toes, follow close you'll never know the half
what's more than that, your words are math and when you add them up it's hard to subtract
find the difference, of what you said what really meant something
and capitolism creates people hell-bent on one thing
we all know what thqat is right?
but somehow i don't give a fuck about it under the moonlight
because when i look up it's hard to have my chin down
and thats all she does, she looks up, without a frown
she looks up from whre she is
up to where her ideals live
and i feel like my side peels
all i want is my eyes sealed
and my hands slip and my stomache reels
the sad drips as we make our deals

Haha, we always have freestyle battles. This is one of my favorites from a few weeks ago, I'll try and remember it as best I can...

I challenge all present to a freestyle battle,
I'll cut your lines up like a farmer does cattle.
I spit lines you can't touch, my diction never wavers,
I hit as hard as Ali and as I'm smooth as John Mayer.
Throw down if you think you got the best of me,
I'll chop your lines up like a vasectomy.

deep

i like that line a lot.

Made one Called "Hola". They're actually saying Oh Love, haha

http://www.myspace.com/thedarthfiend

i can't get to a compuuter much, but i got a new thing i wrote at school.  i'll try to type it on monday.  keep em coming.

this is like one of the first beats i ever made. i remixed a hieroglyphics song "the last one"

http://www.myspace.com/thedarthfiend

nice, u have some good stuff.  i got my computer working again so i'll try to do some more

ok this isn't what i was working on, but it's from earlier last year when i just went on a ranting rampage to my friend about hw and people and stuff.

i don't know if anyone else thinks this way, but when i was told in elementary school and even now in HS, that i had to get ready for the 'real world,' i just go crazy.

"You have to prepare for the future, it's a long road ahead,
the real world is coming, so listen up's" what they said.
But if this ain't the real world, what are we living in now?
If this ain't the real world then please tell me how,
My life now doesn't matter, this is just time to prepare,
trials and trebulations, and i shouldn't care?
I'll tell you what's real, the day of my birth,
yea i'll tell you what's real, my existence on earth.
And if you tell me the 'real world' hasn't even begun,
I'll tell you my story-my life as just one.
one child who seems way ahead of his time,
one child expressing his thoughts through a rhyme.
one child who witnesses all that's wrong today,
one child who's ignored, his thoughts tossed away.
one child who's the future, yet nobody cares,
wisdom pours out my mouth, and everyone stares.
too intelligent for most so they let it pass by,
then problems arise and they wonder why.
always respect your elders but don't forget those under you,
because as much as you hate to admit, we're intelligent too.

yo yo yo
the sun is blazin makin me want to just stayz in
the snow is taking up all these rayz and gives it no chance to stay in place for any more dayz
The snow is sticky just like some dank i smoked before we showed our passes to da lifty
these high speed lifts are pretty nifty but nothing like my ride who could mob up da hill going fifty
my rhymes is reel not something that i would steal
like an arab in a store that sells pipe bombs jacking that shit to just to die for da religon islam so i would recomend you just leave calm before your a part of the tragedy that was portrayed by my song
jeajeajeajeajea
im way beter at it when im high or drunk for the record

i see some things but not enough to write a lot
if don't have anything to write about you can't get writers block
becasue you can't get to a place where you have nowhere left to go
if you never start you have everywhere you know?
so then where do i go?
drop the beat and rock the fast pace or escape that face and keep it slow?...

so welcome to the place to be, the only person here is me
don't worry about a dj or an emcee
and if you're a cut above the rest, the best, or anything less
stand up like you wanna make a mess
or sit down like yo we gotta take a test
fill in the buble next to the phrase that makes the most sense
A. gun on the waist of a highschool student
B. like John Lennon in his grave singin "dear prudence"
C. the people walking with nothing but their coffins
D. other people watching with no intent to stop them
(or) E. none of these
people like tree that aren't swayed in the breeze
leave them in the sea and we'll see who sinks or swims
which leaves will be the ones that hang on to the limbs?
in times where i don't say much i say it a lot louder
gonna need a lot more than a moat to keep me out you watchtower
you say it's sour but i think it's bitter sweet

thats not bad. But you d bo'd that multiple choice shit from saigon. The song Pop Quiz