Replying to Jack Bauer has a higher body count than Hitler.

Jack Bauer wrote the Bible. That's why its so violent.
Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.
Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a fucking terrorist.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Myers, and he had a gun with one bullet, he'd shoot Nina. Twice.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
The only reason you're conscious right now is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.


Man, he really is a fuckin badass