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Yeah i just got dumped at work
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by my fiancee...if you have read the 'my relationship' thread you know
where this is coming from. basically i'm moving to colorado and he is
angry/sad. i was going to tell him tomorrow, but he found some stuff
that i packed today and came into work and just blew up on me. he told me
not to come home tonite and that he was calling my dad (who is on crutches)
to come and get all of my stuff right away. the he asked me how i could just
leave him for skiing. and i explained that it wasnt just skiing, it was my
life. then he accused me of going out to get with this guy who is one of
my best friends and thats the only reason i'm going out. then he asked
what he did to deserve it...and i was crying...with all the customers there
and i'm the only one working. the he left and called me back and asked me
to come home to talk after work and that he didnt tell my dad to come, and
that he already threw up then my dad called and said he was going in to
talk to him....i'm just wondering what the hell is going to be waiting for
me when i get home...
it really has been a interesting night.
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good luck. i think i speak for all the ns'ers we support your decisions. and hope you make the right choice
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well i was kind of grateful because the only part i was having trouble
with was thinking of how to tell him...so this just kind of got it out
of the way in a hurry. but it still sucks a whole lot
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i think that he should see how important skiing is to you. i mean, you guys are engaged, so you obviously love each other. so if you're willing to put skiing inbetween your marriage, he honestly needs to realize how important it is to you and he needs to make some fuckin sacrafices. it's not all about him.
(i'm about to get fuckin destroyed by every single dude on this site for saying that)
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did he have a small penis?
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fuck off man.
This is why you post in the ladies men cult. You don't get this crap.
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ahhaahaha your gonna get that kind of fucken crap anywhere.
remember....................i am everywhere and where i am, there is crap.
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I think the fact that you're 22 plays a huge role in this. I really hope you learned a valuable lesson through this. You can't just say you will marry someone and then up and leave before anything happens. It's not just you, it's happening in America. People are getting divorced more because they misinterperate what marriage is about. Honestly, he has a right to be mad. I would be very upset too if the women I loved told me they were going to marry me and then just said, well I'm glad you bought a house and everything, but I'm going to Colorado. Like I said, I think you have learned a valuable lesson, and I hope you can build from it in the future.
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Quite frankly, good. Much much better for it to end now than for you to give up on your dreams and be trapped in a marriage. Get out while you still can.
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k i actually agree with mitch 100% on this and not because he's my mitch but because he raises a very good point.
When you get married, you make a commitment to them above anything else in your life. This isnt to say you give anything else up, or that you have to change your dreams. but when you decide you're going to marry someone, you have these sort of things figured out first.
For example...you go live in colorado for a year before getting engaged, and then come home after experiencing it..and then getting engaged...if that is the way it works out.
or..both moving to colorado when the other can go with u. etc.
it's about working as a team to get everything you want in your life. that includes your individual dreams, and your goals. you work as one, to live the lives of two.
there is no reason a couple cant have it all, and be a couple. none at all. if both parties arent willing to do the necessary to be together and have what they want in life, then they are not going to work and therefore should not be together.
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i agree with this also...when i got engaged to him, i wasnt fooling around.
i was living in the moment, though. and at that point, everything was perfect.
but i've realized that i'm not ready to be married, and i dont know if i'm
ready to be married to him. he will do anything for me except colorado...
and i need colorado. its not a case of saying screw the commitment. well i
guess it kind of is, but it really comes down to what i have to do and the
fact that i just dont think that we are getting married.
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life is a pile of shit.
being a kid was rad though.
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Well thank you Stephanie. I think it's the other way around though, you're MY stephy.
Anyway, yeah teamwork is definitely a good thing to work out before marriage. You should have proposed moving to Colorado before you guys got settled in. It doesn't seem like you are trying to make it work though, I may just be assuming, but you could try to get him to move there with you?
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he does not ski and he doesnt want to move. he is trying to start his own
business and he is pretty much a 'lifer' to the area...i know it doesnt sound
like we're trying, but i really cant explain it all...we've tried a good bit
but its to the point where he just wanted me to make up my mind instead of
putting him through everything. so i did the hardest thing i've ever done
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It's about finding someone who you can have shared dreams with.
It seems like in this case, your dreams are mutually exclusive and not shared.
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these are the days of our lives
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That is probably the best way anyone could have put it. Its not just about loving each other but about loving what the person is not who he/she is. I know it sounds like im splitting hairs so I will explaine. You have to be able to love what they do and even more so love it for the simple reason that they love it. If he is willing to but his lively hood behind starting this buisness then he must believe that what he is doing will support him, and even more so you. The thing that is happening more and more is marrage at a young age, well befor you have any kind of life yet. He is trying to build that life in a way that could help make you happy and you basicly snuck around his back and decided to move. The way I see it he has every right to be angry
But that doesnt mean that I dont hope that every thing works out, one way or another, because I do. Good luck
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at least you have really cool goggles to take with you out to colorado.
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What were you thinking. 22 and engaged. All I gotta say is unless cupid hit you with an arrow or your a fucking mormon, your marriage was bound to fail. You kinda left your fiance in a rut though. I would be pissed too if I came home and my girlfriend had her bags packed to move away. Whatever though, at least one of you is smart enough to see getting married at 22 is absolute bonkers. Have fun in Colorado.
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it may suck.. but think of it this way, now you can hook up with a skier
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Moving to Colorado for a year wont change you, if you are a guy. If you are moving to summit county it is 2:1 guys to girls and 10:1 guys to girls who aren't busted. So, expect me to hit on you 24/7 if you are in CO.
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Also if your 'fiancee' breaks up with you at work then you should go back to high school. If he was a true man he would have waited until you were home and broke up with you over email or aim.
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Any fucking idiot whom you're supposedly engaged to, and who would dare break it off the way he did, is a dick. Fact is that your situation, up to that point, didn't warrant how he handled it, period, and almost no situation would have. Blah blah blah, marriage is a commitment, blah blah blah, you have to spend your life with that person, blah blah blah. It works both ways, and apparently, he wasn't giving it to you.
You're better off.
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I dunno, I'm gonna have to agree with Mitch and Scratch my Back here. When you make that commitment I strongly believe you should stick to it. But to be honest, you should be in love to be married and I'm not trying to judge you, but it doesn't seem like like you were'in love'. When you're in love with someone you are willing to follow them and make sacrifices for them. It doesn't seem like either of you were willing to do so. If you were truely in love he would have been willing to Go to CO with you....But you would also have been willing to give it up for him. I'm not grilling you for picking skiing.Not at all. It's a good decision to follow your dreams. But you should have made the decision before making the commitment!! When you make a commitmen you COMMIT! To me it seems like women especially are having a hard time doing this lately (no offence to anyone who isn't like this). I know so many women who have backed out of a relationship after making a big commitment to it. And I seriously don't know 1 guy. I think guys get a bad rep for being afraid of commitment, thats because they take it more seriously (my $.02)! When a guy is willing to give the commitment its more often then not he will stick to it. Women seem to be giving a 'soft' commitment lately. I'll stick to it as long as it suits my typa deal. wow, sorry. this turned into a rant. but yah, have fun skiing.
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and to everyone saying "well he isn't much of a guy because he wants you to give up skiing." Stop being biased. Think of it from his point of view... "Shes not much of a girl if shes willing to leave you for skiing."
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I think he's just being immature and overracting on the situation. Maybe it'll play out like some movie where he suprises you out west and finds you in bed with another guy but it turns out that the guy was just passed out in your bed and you had no idea he was even there because you where drunk as well. Then after a lot of crazy and zany events you find both your ways into each other arms to take one final run into the sunset on your favorite trail.
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I'd be pissed if I was him too, but I guess it's kind of messed up he did it at your work.
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sounds like nothing to loose meets the notebook
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I'd say it is completely for the better purpose. Enjoy your life. Be careful when you go home.
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he kinda had a right 2 get mad how can u just leave sum1 you love and not tell him? tell him then packdont wait to the last min and expect him not 2 get mad im with the dude on this 1
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Uh y wouldnt u tell him? If it was just for skiing why not tell him until the night before? Skeeza...
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off subject but where in CO? colorados so sweet
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fucking right. ive just been told by a girl that she loves me forever, and so on, but shes not sure where she wants to go to school, when im already at school, and if she wants us to have a chance she damn well better come here. the point is, girls place too high a priority on other shit.
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I couldn't agree more with this statement
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um simon no. you're actually so wrong.
this is a situation that puts them both at fault. not just him alone. but at the same time, the situation shouldnt even occur period. this should have all been sorted out beforehand.
and she said it herself in pms. she isnt ready to get married and this is what made her realize it. and it is clear to anyone who reads this story that that is also the case. because she hasnt done all she wants to do, hasnt moved around, she isnt ready for marriage. its not to say u cant do those things when ur married but very few couples survive this transitional stage of life..which is why people normally wait until they've settled things like moving away to ski for a while, before they settle with another individual.
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thank ufor agreeing with us.
and i agree with u on your points as well.
it doesnt seem like there was any sacrifice, or compromise, on either end. and thats important for marriage and true love.
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but dude... you have to look from both aspects sure, she doesnt want to leave skiing, but think of it this way, he knew when he got into the relationship that she loved to ski(i'm guessing). now if she makes up her mind to go and do something that involves a passion that she has done for most likely longer than when she agreed to marry the guy or even had the first date(again a guess). i was about to write if a guy cant let a person go do what their deepest drive is, but let doesnt even have anything to do with it, neither does allow... she would have done it regardless of his desicion(again a guess.. mostly cause i'd be the same way). ok now his thaught should be let her go alone, "OR" go with and enjoy the time even if he's not a big fan of snow or whatever, the lodges have plenty of things to do... well some stuff anyways... now if they guy chooses to break of a "Marrage" over someone wanting to do something regardless the acceptance of the other person or not, the guy doesnt deserve that person, its not ment to be(as gay as it sounds) but think about it... now that you've thaught about it you probialy understand where K2_kodi and every other person thats agreeing with eachother is coming from... like to be honest it's kinda sad that a guy would rather break off a marrage than just let their "love" go on a skiing trip, i mean its not like she was leaving forever, i'm assuing she'd be going back after she's done... well thats some of my "two cents"
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Plain and simple: you have to do what makes you happy. That's it.
I got stuck in a terrible city and needed to get out. Well wanted to get out. I needed a better paying job, needed to ski more, etc. But my bf on the other hand was completely happy where he was and what he had going for him. We broke up because I needed to do it for myself. I mean to this day I still love him but I had to do it for me. I had to be happy. And you know what? He accepted that because he loved me. His parting words to me were: I'd be a dick if I tried to make you stay here, you wouldnt be happy, I wouldnt be happy, so just go and do what you need to do.
And that was it.
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you see its awsome when break ups go that smooth... but it rarely happens... and you know thats great that you two could see eye to eye.. maybe aftera couple years you two could get back together... and wow this thread brings out the best in people... weird...
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damn mitch, your growing up..lol. atta boy!
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i find this hard to comprend due to my pre-adult brain...and ns.
usually it's just a normal break up but fiancee is like real life.
therefor i have no say in the matter, except for this post, which classifies me as a post whore
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I think the bottom line here is relations need compromise to work. It doesnt seem like there was much compromise here and so it didnt work.
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BITCH GOT DUMPED
BITCH GOT DUMPED
BITCH GOT DUMPED
BITCH GOT DUMPED
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hey I'm going through some pretty crazy stuff with my live in g/f too (and she's also dumped me at work, only difference is she took me back, although I think it may only be just to prolong my suffering and uncertainty), I feel your pain. Alls I can say is that as rough as it might be it's probably for the best, I don't know your exact situation due to my drunken impatience and resulting desire not to read the entire thread but I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason and that things have a way of working out one way or another. Keep your chin up and with any luck things will turn around. If nothing else you are a girl who skis so you are automatically a head above most other girls in sexiness and overall chill factor, try to focus on that.
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wow, im sorry, but i think that you started too early and that leaving him is good decision
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