okay, so i started going out with this girl in january, and we go to a boarding school and live like 3hrs apart from eachother, so we can't see eachother alot. so anyways, we went out until the end of the year, and i was a senior so i graduated, and shes not so she had to stick around longer for exams. so i get back home after graduation and the next day my parents ground me cause they found a conversation saved on the computer incriminating me of drinking and drug use in the past. then they ask if ive had sex with my girlfriend, so i say yes (assuming that they probably had proof of that as well, and because i didnt want to get into more trouble for lying to them). so they take away phone, computer, and say that its for a year, and that i can have one phone call to my girlfriend (whos still at school at this point) to tell her. so i tell her, and we're both devastated and everything cause we loved eachother. so she says that she'll wait as long as it takes because i tell her that there is no way that it will be a year until i can talk to her again.
so anyways, my parents tell her parents that we had sex and i just had to hope that they wouldnt flip out and forbid me from seeing and talking to their daughter, and my parents tell them that i won't be in contact with their daughter. so anyways, i wrote a couple letters to her at the beginning of the summer because my parents didnt say anything about that, just the phone/computer. so they somehow find out about the letters and flip out again. then we left on a trip to italy that we had been planning for months and everything, so i get my girlfriend some postcards and stuff there, but my parents wont let me send any of them, but they will let me sned some to some friends. so then my girlfriend finds out that i sent them to friends and not her and gets sortof pissed off. so when we got back form italy, i still wasnt allowed to talk to her (this was almost a month since the last time i saw her). then finally, my parents give in a little and let me call her once a week
so when i finally call her, she's on vacation in south carolina or somewhere, and like we talk for a while, but its not at all about our feelings or anything its just like shooting the breeze like just saying what we had been doing and shit like that. the impression that i got from our conversation was that she was way to busy to even think about me very much. and then she asked me what was going to happen with us, so i say that i can wait if she can (cause like i dont have a choice i have to wait cause its not like im going to find anyone (my parents also said that being with kids my age would have a bad influence on me)) so she says that she doesnt know if it will work out if we arent able to talk every day. so the next week rolls around, and she's in hawaii i think at that point, and that conversation was even worse than the first. this time, there wasnt anything for either of us to say to eachother, and theres just silence between us. it was the most awkward conversation ive ever had
so i go to my parents and i tell them that the phone conversations arent working out, and demand the computer back. so they let me use it but ONLY to talk to her. so i try to get her, but shes always got an away message up (keep in mind that shes still on vacation), and when she doesnt have an away message, she doesnt respond when i say "hey." she also doesnt respond to comments i leave on her facebook wall and myspace page. so after a few days of that, she sends me a me message on facebook saying that she hasnt been at her computer, and that it just signs her on by itself and thats y she doesnt respond, and that she would appreciate if i didnt try to talk to her again until shes back from vacation (which is like another week or so)
so i don't try to talk to her again, and a couple days later, im just online talking to other people, when she ims me and says that we should stop going out because she "needs time to forget about everything happened (but not forget about me)" and that theres nothing that i can say to change her mind and that she just needs time to herself. I ask why she needs the time and what she needs to forget, and she tells me that she went through so much since the last time i saw her and she doesnt even know where to begin, and she doesnt want to talk about it, and that i have no idea what she went through. so i say its okay - i mean i have no choice and no control over the situation.
so a mutual friend of ours has been talking to her and says that she has at least one guy over like every night, and that she's desperate for sex. So here i am, pretty much under house arrest and theres no one for me to like go and hook up with to try to get over her, i'm just stuck with nothing else to think about. and all i want is to get her back (because i do still love her and because its not like theres anyone else for me) and all i do all day is think of ways to try to win her back like writing songs and stuff, but even if i do win her back, i still can't see her, which i have no control over. but at least i wouldn't have to worry about trying to get over her. Oh yeah, and this was about 2 weeks ago now that she broke up with me
I suppose that the reason that i tell you all of this is that i would much appreciate your input on what i should or what i can do to either win her back or else move on and get over her, because right now i think i am going crazy not being able to do anything. Oh yeah, and i might add that i'm not going to college next year, i'm taking a gap year to like travel and volunteer in foreign countries and whatever else it is people do in gap years - get "life experience" - so the whole just waiting for college to get drunk 4 nights a week and have a series of one night stands with drunk college girls is out. thanks for any help you might give.
