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FUCKIN COONS!

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djikstra
Posts: 2471 - Karma: 6,014
there was just a fucking racoon in my garage and my paintball gun was out of co2 and it was not afraid of me... I threw bricks at it and ran right up to it shouting and it didnt do shit it just hid in the corner... wtf should I use next time, i mean if i dont have a filled co2 again? i was completely helpless not even the hose worked. I need to get a rifle... o and I scared it off by using the lawn mower in the garage and I ran over some random chunk of metal sending sparks everywhere.
Jul 19 2006 10:33PM
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djikstra
Posts: 2471 - Karma: 6,014
o is that a racist comment? oops... welll there back! damnit!!! HELP!!
Jul 19 2006 10:40PM
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FuckThePolice
Posts: 2088 - Karma: 17
stop being such a pussy and go stomp the little motherfucker out.
Jul 19 2006 10:42PM
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montageskier
Posts: 4725 - Karma: 126
Shut the garage door.
Jul 19 2006 10:43PM
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C-Burg
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 130
hahahahaha, i thought this wasa going to be some alias that was being racist
Jul 19 2006 10:45PM
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Cheeseninja
Posts: 386 - Karma: 12
Hit it with a shovel
Jul 19 2006 10:45PM
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leckett1
Posts: 6476 - Karma: 294
yea it is a racist comment
Jul 19 2006 10:45PM
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cidnee
Posts: 85 - Karma: 11
make them you're pets
give them sweet names and train them to do cool stuff
Jul 19 2006 10:47PM
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Beamer12
Posts: 3227 - Karma: 46
hahahaha coons
Jul 19 2006 10:47PM
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djikstra
Posts: 2471 - Karma: 6,014
I cant shut the garage door because....THEY ARE IN THE GARAGE TEARing shit apart. the rest of u arent helping... except for the shovel dude... I'm gunna go try that..
Jul 19 2006 10:51PM
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cjgncjgn
Posts: 3023 - Karma: 21
close the door
turn the car on

wait aw hile
Jul 19 2006 10:55PM
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MitchPee
Posts: 8871 - Karma: 1,510
Try to pet it, maybe it will bite you and you will get rabies. Fucking throw bricks at animals...
Jul 19 2006 10:56PM
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djikstra
Posts: 2471 - Karma: 6,014
our garage has a ping pong table in it, a car doesnt fit plus no ones home and my sister has my car... and there is mad boxes and shit for them to hid behind in the back. I have the radio on now in there but i need a killer plan. these little fuckers are pissing me off
Jul 19 2006 10:58PM
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ATLskier
Posts: 8203 - Karma: 406
Dude, give them the keys to your car. Instinctivley, they will see the car keys, turn it on, and drive to wendy's to get some good food.
Jul 19 2006 10:59PM
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ATLskier
Posts: 8203 - Karma: 406
Seriously though, get some hot dogs or other tempting foods(wendy's) and tempt them with it. Get them to chase the food or soemthing. Like leave a trail of chicken nugggets outiside the garage door.
Jul 19 2006 11:00PM
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djikstra
Posts: 2471 - Karma: 6,014
I'm fucking stupid... asking ns for advice.. Man i must really be out of ideas, thanks anyway people...lame
Jul 19 2006 11:00PM
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7X
Posts: 2999 - Karma: 365
pretend its a baby and give it a good kick
Jul 19 2006 11:03PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
get out a saws-all and an extention cord and go after the little fuckers
Jul 19 2006 11:18PM
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hoodskiier
Posts: 288 - Karma: 12
racoons are tight but if they're tearing up your shit dont be a pussy and just punt those bitches into the wall
Jul 19 2006 11:45PM
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EClay46
Posts: 2499 - Karma: 69
haha that was the funniest thing ive read in a while baby jokes are always funny.


LJ if u have any fire works get a lighter and throw them at them but throw behind them so it leads them to run towards the door
Jul 19 2006 11:50PM
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StealthSteez
Posts: 3183 - Karma: 11
haha I really thought this was going to be a story about black people. I'm quite dissappointed.
Jul 19 2006 11:53PM
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wang_bong
Posts: 766 - Karma: 13
haha the reason this thread has so many views is because the title basically says "FUCKIN BLACK PEOPLE!"
Jul 19 2006 11:59PM
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drewishish
Posts: 3710 - Karma: 23
and put a shovel right over one of them with alot of weight and have a pully device and right when he walks under it BOOM mother fucka gots no head.
Jul 20 2006 12:05AM
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edmonton_skier
Posts: 3210 - Karma: 110
hahahaha whats the radio gonna do? Light it on fire or something
Jul 20 2006 12:13AM
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jksl
Posts: 12727 - Karma: 854
john you threw bricks at it and couldn't hit it? you've got bad aim man. just flip the ping pong table over on it then jump up and down on the upside down ping pong table. that should work right?
Jul 20 2006 12:17AM
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demondan
Posts: 196 - Karma: 10
just run up to it and bite its FRICKEN HEAD OFF! GOSH!
Jul 20 2006 12:22AM
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lorida
Posts: 2833 - Karma: 46
mix 10 parts water to 1 part amonia, spray where you think the " fucking coons" are hiding and they'll be gone. Works with squirrels, coons, coons, chipmunks... just about any animal.
Jul 20 2006 12:28AM
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demondan
Posts: 196 - Karma: 10
I wonder if that would work on my sister...
Jul 20 2006 12:31AM
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dlite!
Posts: 1194 - Karma: 87
coons are hella fresh. my dad had a pet coon. dont hurt it or i will come and hurt you.
Jul 20 2006 12:32AM
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wAy2sTeEzY4u
Posts: 5449 - Karma: 20
why just lynch them of course
Jul 20 2006 12:34AM
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skithebert
Posts: 2163 - Karma: 16
makeshift flamethrower. any kind of flammable liquid that shoots will work. singe their hair off...its smells like shit but they'll leave. thats what we did when they were in our chimmny(sp?).
Jul 20 2006 12:42AM
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mattster
Posts: 4120 - Karma: 41
punch the racoon in the face... or throw bleach on him
Jul 20 2006 12:50AM
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Holte
Posts: 10739 - Karma: 7,814
aaahahahaha this is a great thread. You chased it off with a lawnmower because your paintball gun was out of CO2?? That's amazing.

okay, for future reference, shut the garage door and they won't come into the garage. But as raccoon hunting weapons go, a lawnmower is pretty good.
Jul 20 2006 12:52AM
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B.L.A.K.E
Posts: 932 - Karma: 27
34 inch woodbase ball bat and put some rusty ass 16 penny nails in it and go to town, or you could just strip a power cord and slather it with peanut butter and hook up somthing like an old box fan to the other side and turn it on, the fucking 'coons try and eat the peanut butter and they get light up.
Jul 20 2006 1:27AM
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tjski
Posts: 5859 - Karma: 44
id kick its ass
Jul 20 2006 1:30AM
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SteezePatrol
Posts: 10281 - Karma: 36
okay, do you have a beagle?

if so...
















































[img]http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xZxJr9EcF4A1NOjzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=127mkt3c3/EXP=1153464305/**http%3a//www.funnyhub.com/pictures/img/coon-hound.jpg[/img]


































and if that doesn't work you could just use rap music or something
Jul 20 2006 2:14AM
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Skiing_Is_Fun
Posts: 1463 - Karma: 91
Damn, running your lawn mower over some metal chunks must have really fucked up the blade
Jul 20 2006 2:29AM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
^it could probably fuck up a coon too.
Jul 20 2006 2:46AM
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futurespin
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 168
Get your fishing pole, hook a hotdog to it, and catch the fucker.
Jul 20 2006 3:42AM
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cjb1776
Posts: 599 - Karma: 10
get a live trap and catch him then release him inside someone elses house
Jul 20 2006 8:19AM
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=Worf=
Posts: 2468 - Karma: 25
yeah ^what he said get your ass to home depot and buy a raccoon trap, or just shoot it with a real gun what would your paint ball gun do anyway. but the trap is praobably best, load it with som veggies and some hamburger should do the trick.
Jul 20 2006 8:50AM
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cjb1776
Posts: 599 - Karma: 10
canned cat food works well too
Jul 20 2006 8:52AM
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skifiend
Posts: 2063 - Karma: 13
trade that paint ball gun for a shotgun....problem solved.
Jul 20 2006 9:43AM
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kabozo101
Posts: 4429 - Karma: 20
hit that fucker with a golf club and watch him fly or baseball bat
Jul 20 2006 9:48AM
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Ahmets_Brother
Posts: 20283 - Karma: 5,931
throw gas on it then light it on fire
hit it with a 2x4
baseball bat
shovel
guns if you have it
chuck a basketball at it really hard
chop its head off with a ski
pet it and make friends
give it food then bring food outside to luire it out
scream at it in super sonic lj ear shattering tone
Jul 20 2006 10:23AM
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DrewR.
Posts: 976 - Karma: 5
dude just get a trap my grandpa and i trap grounghogs and coons in his barn and blow up the holes where they stay
Jul 20 2006 10:45AM
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Ghst
Posts: 5820 - Karma: 10
Just be creative, look around and you'll think of 1001 ways to kill those FUCKIN COONS
Jul 20 2006 11:06AM
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hendrik.
Posts: 6715 - Karma: 267
tactical nuclear warhead. my friend ali has one if you need it.
Jul 20 2006 11:17AM
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K2_Pubz_360
Posts: 906 - Karma: 10
i think theres a place where they get rid of animals and shit....give em a call...i think they r called animal comtrol?
Jul 20 2006 1:25PM
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Kretzschmar
Posts: 6705 - Karma: 98,258
how drunk were you when this happened LJ???? hahaha also, expected racist story before i came in here. im loving all these old threads from pros
Jul 5 2013 1:54AM
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E__
Posts: 5751 - Karma: 4,634
Ay duder, this was 7 years ago...
Jul 5 2013 2:55AM
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