Replying to Beerfest: 20$, Hookah Bar: 8$, Soliciting a Whore House: Priceless

so here's my whore house story... it's long but enjoy:

The Whore House by Jesse Beckert

So we went to Montreal for Nick’s Birthday, got a little buck wild on the car ride there, topped it off with Beer Fest and then did a little bar hopping. It was about 3:30 am and we were looking for more to do because Montreal parties til the sun comes up. . .

So I suggested we go to the rippers. so we were walking toward Supersexe when we saw this truck with hot girls on the side of it advertising studio xxx on St Catherine street. So naturally we decide to search for it.

Well we got there and we walked in and up three flights of stairs. These two dudes came running down laughing in hysterics. We asked them what was up and they told us we'd find out in a couple minutes. . .

Anyway we got up there and it was this dingy lobby area with a dark hallway and a bunch of rooms. We were greeted by some crack whore, who obviously would have been hot if she wore GAP, toned down the make up and laid off the cocaine. She doesn't greet us with "Hello, how are you," instead she gets straight down to business. . .

She greets us with “Let me explain to you the services we provide. . . for 50 dollars you get the basics. A room and the girl of your choice. She will enter the room and begin to take her clothes off. She will pleasure herself before you. You can remove your clothes and masturbate if you'd like."

"For an extra 10$ you will get a glove to finger the girl's vagina and for 75$ total you get penetration. Now let me explain the penetration to you. . . "

"So you will basically be fucking her with a sex toy. You will place the sex toy on your penis. The rubber will separate you from the girl so there is no need to worry about condoms. Now the sex toy has two unique functions. One is the vibrator. Now, since you guys are young, I would recommend that you not put the vibrator on too powerfully otherwise you'll be done in a matter of minutes! The second function of the sex toy allows you to change how tight or loose it is. Here, give me your hand. . . " Mike reluctantly reaches his hand out and she grabs it with her undoubtedly crab infested hand. She squeezes his hand and tells him that he can make the sex toy tight so as to give the sensation of fucking a virgin

Somehow, we all had managed to keep a straight face through all of this. . . So then she asks us "What would you like to do?" Without a seconds hesitation I whipped out 20 bucks and handed it to her and then looked at the others, Mike matched mine and Joel did too. Unfortunately we came up 10 dollars short of penetration. . .

So we got him the basics. . .

Before Nick could protest the crack whore grabbed the money and walked down the hallway beckoning him to follow her. He looked around nervously and followed. we left down the stairs we had come up laughing hysterically! We saw a group of guys coming up the stairs and they asked us, “what’s so funny?” We told them they'd know in 2 minutes!

We waited for him on the street outside the whore house. We smoked a few bowls, met a gay nigger named Carlyle who gave us a cd of his art and then he came out. . .

He came out and we were laughing hysterically once again. A combination of us being high and the reality of the situation. He shook his head at us but couldn’t hold back a smile. I mean who could? So we asked him what had transpired and whether he had enjoyed himself. He obviously had but he didn’t admit to it.

He said he had the choice of two hookers. But that he had only gotten a quick look as they peeked out. So he picked one who turned out to be nasty. But really, what do you expect? It a whore house. He was escorted into this dark little room which was not a lot larger than a postage stamp. There were two pieces of furniture in the room, a black leather chair which he was intended to sit on and a small cot with stains, obviously from previous patrons, which sat about two feet from the chair.

So he sat down and the hooker came in and laid down on the bed right in front of him. She made quick business of taking her clothes off. He told her it was his birthday so she tried to prompt him to treat himself. . . to get the glove and finger her himself!

According to Nick, he felt very awkward and was not into it at all. She was nasty and she was obviously not getting herself off. But I don’t believe it for a second. As far as I’m concerned, he waxed it and came in her eye.

Anyway, from now on we call him Johnny. . . Nick “the John” Gervais, for soliciting a hooker on his 20th Birthday. Way to go Johnny!