Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Ode to Newschool Skiing's Douchebags.

profile picture
harmonica_core
Posts: 16 - Karma: 10
To every assfuck that thinks they are the shit and is ruining this goddamn sport. Keep this shit fun kids, don't be like this.



Holy shit, I want to get on ________'s dick
the way he throws his 1260-no-grabs, they're my favorite trick!
Some people say that style's way more cool,
but that's so gay! I'd rather huck myself around like an absolute tool.

Did you see that gaper kid in the park, those racing skis he had on?
hahaha man, no twin tip?! he might as well have on a bra and a thong.
what the hell is he thinking, wearing pants at his waist?
he should really go buy a pair of double x-ls, and do it with haste.

I really love salomon and atomic,
they do so much for the sport! they're so freaking sick!
Sure, they've dropped a few athletes the moment they've gotten stale,
But look! their products made with shitty construction just went on sale!

I saw this kid do the lamest thing I've ever seen today
I've never seen someone do it before, but im pretty sure it was gay.
I guess I'll have to make a thread about it in the SG,
just so all the kids with high post counts can tell me how to be.

I feel really cool because I learned how to do a truckdriver,
it's the only grab I'll do, the only brand i'll wear is siver.
I don't think it's really necessary to learn anything new,
trying anything i haven't seen a million times before?! Haha, FUCK YOU!

Like I'm going to risk my reputation on the ski hill,
I think that kid that does sick cork 7s finally thinks I'm chill!
For the next railjam I'm at, I've been working on my 450 ons,
Some kids do easy shit like nosepresses, but I'm really cool, like the Fonz.

Skiing needs to get bigger! More exposure! Gnarlier death gaps!
None of this "stylishness" or "innovation" business, not for us chaps!

But now if you excuse me, I think I go need to make a post about
Tanner Hall.... hmm... i can never remember these days, is he in or out?
May 18 2006 10:55PM
0 0
profile picture
freezed
Posts: 12973 - Karma: 500
sick
May 18 2006 10:57PM
0 0
profile picture
lalalalaura
Posts: 6753 - Karma: 68
I thought this was going to be some super gay thread from some alias trying to piss everyone off...
and although this is probably one of the gayest attempts at that I've ever read...

I really agree with you on almost every point.
Kudos on that.
May 18 2006 10:58PM
0 0
profile picture
NWFlow
Posts: 1557 - Karma: 61
sticky
May 18 2006 10:59PM
0 0
profile picture
Matty.
Posts: 9458 - Karma: 105
I agree completely!
May 18 2006 11:00PM
0 0
profile picture
robbieA
Posts: 1371 - Karma: 30
that made me chuckle
May 18 2006 11:03PM
0 0
profile picture
mattster
Posts: 4120 - Karma: 41
that was off the dashboard... like, when you hit the breaks so hard that all your cds go flying and shit....
May 18 2006 11:10PM
0 0
profile picture
nickmcnutt
Posts: 4396 - Karma: 2,966
i agree with almost everything, except atomic makes good skis. solomon, however, does not.
May 18 2006 11:10PM
0 0
profile picture
bpalmer
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 93
Hahah hell yeah. Lots of time on your hands but true for fuckin sure.
May 18 2006 11:10PM
0 0
profile picture
mattwalker
Posts: 5063 - Karma: 2,478
ok, that could have been said in, dont huck, racers deserve respect, salomon/atomic are gay, be diverse, NS is gay, try new shit, dont ski to impress.... all of which i agree with cept the SPK boot is sick...
May 18 2006 11:11PM
0 0
profile picture
SirFryanator
Posts: 11149 - Karma: 1,415
shiiiiit nice poetry there
May 18 2006 11:11PM
0 0
profile picture
r.w
Posts: 3489 - Karma: 18
im lovin it
May 18 2006 11:20PM
0 0
profile picture
hiphopopotamus
Posts: 1177 - Karma: 45
i concur with your hypothosis
May 18 2006 11:24PM
0 0
profile picture
NWFlow
Posts: 1557 - Karma: 61
I saw this kid do the lamest thing I've ever seen today
I've never seen someone do it before, but im pretty sure it was gay.
I guess I'll have to make a thread about it in the SG,
just so all the kids with high post counts can tell me how to be.

So funny. 1st two lines=best two of the rap.
2nd 2 lines=waaayyy too true. A lot of the time the people with high post counts know their shit, but some of them just say the same thing everyone else is saying and everyone quotes them and is like "yeah."
May 18 2006 11:51PM
0 0
profile picture
CrazedSkier1080
Posts: 3357 - Karma: 66
it took me a few times to get the timing down for it, but it flows pretty well
May 19 2006 12:00AM
0 0
profile picture
TWoods
Posts: 10014 - Karma: 8,386
I like it
May 19 2006 1:09AM
0 0
profile picture
jsg
Posts: 7701 - Karma: 535
its true!
May 19 2006 1:13AM
0 0
profile picture
SirFryanator
Posts: 11149 - Karma: 1,415
this is the best thread in a while
and to this I sign off NS for a bit
May 19 2006 1:14AM
0 0
profile picture
BIGairVZ
Posts: 525 - Karma: 32
yea but it was way better.......... STICKYYYYYY
May 19 2006 1:32AM
0 0
profile picture
C.J.
Posts: 5460 - Karma: 72
That was great, and half of the kids on here are going to agree it funny, even though they are the one your dogin.
May 19 2006 1:40AM
0 0
profile picture
KeegLove
Posts: 10166 - Karma: 55
oh man i got an erection half way through and had to stop reading for a momment but after i got through it all all i can say is HIGH FIVE PARTNER I COMPLETELY AGREE!!!
May 19 2006 1:48AM
0 0
profile picture
J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,142
I have to ask, why the quatrains? Your heroic couplets stand on their own, so one would expect you'd just keep them together for fluidity... is there some subtle meaning the structure is meant to relay that I'm completely missing, or...?
May 19 2006 2:03AM
0 0
profile picture
lastxlight
Posts: 1611 - Karma: 10
ditch that last two lined stanza, i think it would be better with a more bolero feel
May 19 2006 3:50AM
0 0
profile picture
freeskibum82
Posts: 6355 - Karma: 5,055
so which trick will be next years big trick that i can mimic??? i need to know asap.. thanks.
May 19 2006 7:41AM
0 0
profile picture
lpcmen2001
Posts: 957 - Karma: 11
i loved the ski gapper part ahah , sick post man
May 19 2006 8:15AM
0 0
profile picture
japie99
Posts: 2128 - Karma: 19
Haha that was so sick man!! Skilled!!
May 19 2006 8:20AM
0 0
profile picture
Schoening
Posts: 14332 - Karma: 1,268
hahahaha so great
May 19 2006 9:07AM
0 0
profile picture
JockinJLoads
Posts: 3480 - Karma: 6
you, my friend, are an angry angry nub
May 19 2006 9:14AM
0 0
profile picture
R.Fahey
Posts: 8602 - Karma: 539
Kudos bumbrah. Killin' it with lyrical nonsense.
May 19 2006 9:31AM
0 0
profile picture
Dan-Man
Posts: 7488 - Karma: 3,621
angry man
May 19 2006 9:53AM
0 0
profile picture
ski_cartel
Posts: 6598 - Karma: 18
hahahahaha, yea man. but hes right
May 19 2006 9:54AM
0 0
profile picture
hollygrove
Posts: 7845 - Karma: 93
I agree, but not with the comment about Saloman and Atomic. How do they mnake their skis bad, with bad constuction? As far as I know, those skis don't tend to fall apart too often.
May 19 2006 10:42AM
0 0
profile picture
dom_uk
Posts: 1560 - Karma: 12
angry guy, but i agree with most of that but i disagree with the salmon atomic point, also a lot of "newbs"/ignorant people what ever you want to brand them as, hate companies such as solamon and atomic, where as some skis made by the companies are good skis, but there not cool because the company there from isnt as core as armada/line/4frnt/ninthward etc.
May 19 2006 10:54AM
0 0
profile picture
Matty.
Posts: 9458 - Karma: 105
Do you know why it is always the core companies you hear with coming out with something new and innovative? It is because when you buy stuff from them, almost all of it goes back to the sport we love, they spend that money on our needs and they are smaller so they are more willing to work with the athletes to create a new product. When you buy a pair of skis from Salomon or Atomic for say, the money goes into all of the stuff they make, and only a small percentage goes into freestyle skiing...also, I have seen more Salomon's with duct tape on the tips and edges missing than any other company of skis...so I don't think that is necessarily "good" construction. Almost all of those core companies you've listed have come up with something new...whereas, I haven't seen much change in Salomon skis since they started twintips.
May 19 2006 11:05AM
0 0
profile picture
Antoine.
Posts: 1269 - Karma: 6
haha nice ode
May 19 2006 11:07AM
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Bishop
Posts: 22708 - Karma: 76,635
I'll bet if you did a proper study, more core companies skis would be blowing up than the big ones.

Salomon has changed tonnes from their original twintip.

The part that really kills me is all these people saying "Only a small portion of the big companies money actually goes back into newschool" Whereas that small portion is probably 10x what the core companies spend.

Not saying I'm against core companies, I think they're doing something great for our industry.

However, I feel that people are basing their arguments against the larger companies solely on hype and not on well-researched, well-thought out fact.
May 19 2006 11:39AM
0 0
profile picture
reezyfbaby
Posts: 2308 - Karma: 13
ill have to agree, i think sometime people hate on the bigger companies because its whats expected off them, when really it isnt warranted at all. personally, ill never ride salomon skis because i dont like the way they market them, they have horrid graphics and they sell them at big box stores. however, to thier credit, they came out with a brand new mold for a newschool boot this season. the amount of money that costs in terms of r and d, and the actual construction of the molds is absurd, and definately a solid amount of cash put directly into newschool skiing. and i think atomic is holding it down this year harder than most other companies. look at thier line: you have a perfectly symetrical park ski in terms of sidecut and flex (sick), a full range of bc twins and pricepoint skis too. something for everyone, not to mention thier revamped team with rex thomas as the team manager seems sick. they have definately put alot more effort into newschool this year. so what have the core companies done that outweighs any of those acheivements? stop the hate and be stoked that newschool has room for tonnes of upstart companies, and the companies that have been in skiing since wayy back when are still taking the sport seriously enough to put serious amounts of cash into it. its not all bad kiddies.
May 19 2006 11:55AM
0 0
profile picture
pag
Posts: 3412 - Karma: 69
who created the SPK/1080 boot?
Salomon
Who Created axial Binding:
Rossignol
those are some of the best shit that happened to skiing and they are from the huge companies.
Personally I'M not a fan of salmon but you gotta give big companies some props...
May 19 2006 12:01PM
0 0
profile picture
pag
Posts: 3412 - Karma: 69
by the way that was a nice rant! gotta love the style!
May 19 2006 12:02PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Bishop
Posts: 22708 - Karma: 76,635
I think this is the best point.

Core companies play a key role in our industry to provide product for the people who want to ride something new, with a fresh image. As our sport grows larger, it's key that the big boys provide product to the more mass market. The core companies provide product to the segment of our sport that is the "core" market.

As everything grows, there is more and more room for both kinds of companies. The big boys hold it down by sinking rediculous amounts of money into events, athletes and whatnot. The small guys push the envelope by keeping it super cool.

This in turn forces the larger companies to be on their toes about changing their product and not remaining stagnant.

It's really all a cycle, and we don't have to hate on everyone in our small sport. We need to work together to experience GROWTH!
May 19 2006 12:13PM
0 0
profile picture
powder4breakfast
Posts: 386 - Karma: 69
You forgot one...
Who created the twin tip?
SALOMON

I like the ode to NS douchebags. But, I have to say, Salomon and Atomic make great skis and Salomon has done as much for our sport as any ski company. Alot of young NS douchebags just don't know how the ski industry really functions or what's really going on behind the scenes.
May 19 2006 12:16PM
0 0
profile picture
espong1321
Posts: 763 - Karma: 10
snowboards?
May 19 2006 12:22PM
0 0
profile picture
Wafflez
Posts: 388 - Karma: 10
a work of art
May 19 2006 12:26PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Bishop
Posts: 22708 - Karma: 76,635
Interesting: (taken from transworld business January 2006)

"It's been sixteen years since Brad Steward began making T-shirts with the word Bonfire screened on them. Ten years since he and pertners John and Monica Steward sold the brand to Salomon. Six years since he left it. And almost three years since he came back to the snowboard brand he started..."

"After each round of (salomon) ownership changes, industry eyes have turned a watchful eye to Steward. Quick to speak his mind, Steward remains the weathervane of consolidation's effect. And while each change has affected the brand's back end, factories, and factory communications, for the most part Steward's viewpoint has remained positive. "Bonfire's changed ownership through the acquisition of the Salomon brand by adidas, and now by the Amer Group," he says. "Through both of these purchases, my role and Bonfire as a brand have had total autonomy in the design of our products. For sure, my road with Solomon has been very interesting. "We've had everything that you have in a normal business relationship," he continues. "You have bad times. You have times when people are on the same page and sometimes people aren't on the same page. I don't really regret (selling) it because of what it allowed us to do as a company, for the people who work there, and for our customers. Things like that are just so beyond any personal little up or down that I might have."

Interpret that as you may.
May 19 2006 12:43PM
0 0
profile picture
bpalmer
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 93
I hate my rossignol bindings.
May 19 2006 3:10PM
0 0
profile picture
lowtech
Posts: 1135 - Karma: 10
i love my rossi bindings
May 19 2006 3:41PM
0 0
profile picture
BFINO13
Posts: 1563 - Karma: 14
pretty kool how long did that take
May 19 2006 3:42PM
0 0
profile picture
Matty.
Posts: 9458 - Karma: 105
It's true...but you as a PERSON are putting more money into the industry...like if you bought a pair of Salomons you would be putting in 30$ instead of like 150$ if you chose a core company.
May 19 2006 3:50PM
0 0
profile picture
skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
I liked it except for the Atomic and Salomon part. I have a pair of Salomon's and they're sick as hell. Don't bash the non-core companies, it makes you sound like the douchebags you're describing in your rap.
May 19 2006 3:55PM
0 0
profile picture
A_E
Posts: 15350 - Karma: 310
SUCK A DICK NO HOMO
May 19 2006 4:02PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)