Post a joke thread

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck...

A reporter strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were," said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said.

"I assumed everyone in Toronto was either a Leafs or Jays fan. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan," the child said.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little French Bastard from Montreal Kills Beloved Family Pet."

Here are two of my favorites, that i just remembered the other day:

Why do black people always have sex on their minds?

Because they have pubic hair on their heads

Why can black people not become airline pilots?

Because when they get above 16,000 feet their lips explode

So a white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are walking around and POOF a genie appears who will grant them each one wish. The mexican wishes that all his people will go home to their homeland. The black man wishes the same, all the black people to africa. Then the genie turns to the white guy and the white guy says "So you're saying that all the spics and niggers are gone?......Well I guess I'll have a coke."

What do Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common?







They both like to stick their meat between 5 year old buns

what is the differece between a squirrel and a baby.

-- i brake for squirells

What do the bermuda triangle and (insert girl name of your choice here) have in common?


they both swollow seaman

golden, bring this back.

a black man, a mexican and a asian jump off the building at the same time.  Who hits the ground first??











WHO CARES


lame but i find it funny sometimes

how do you get rid of half of the mexican population in america?.............. throw a  quarter off a  cliff.........  how do you  get  rid of the rest?...... tell them its still there..............




two fish are in a tank, one says " you man the guns, ill drive"

what do you call a baby Clementine?............. a  clementeeny 

funny how everyone gets pissed at the jew jokes but tell black jokes with little discretion...

but here it goes
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. He walks up to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks, "Hey, why do you have that steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Arg, I don't know, but it's drivin me nuts"

One i made up today:
"What former European Republic has the best jokes? Chuckle-slovokia"
I told it expecting the worse but some random old guy behind me laughed at it

k so a girl goes to her dad and says dad can a borrow the car? so the dad says yes but you have to give me a blowjob first. so the girl agrees the dad whips it out and she starts suckin. after a while she looks up and says dad that tastes like crap. and the dad says oh thats right your brother already has the car.................

whats white and 12 inches long?

NOTHING