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Post a joke thread

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C-DAWGSTYLEZ
Posts: 832 - Karma: 171
heres mine

Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.

May 10 2006 9:46PM
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jimmychung
Posts: 6857 - Karma: 25
Two cannibals are eating a clown, one looks to the other and asks, "Does this taste funny to you?".
May 10 2006 9:48PM
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Ddrem
Posts: 894 - Karma: 10
ya face!
May 10 2006 9:48PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
why wasn't the pirate allowed to see the movie.

cause it was rated arrrrrrr!
May 10 2006 9:49PM
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-benedetto
Posts: 5238 - Karma: 1,359
WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THATS NOT YOURS!?

NACHOOOOO CHEEESEEEE

that will never get old
May 10 2006 9:52PM
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shrEddie
Posts: 5117 - Karma: 65
brothaaa recant EEEEmidiately
May 10 2006 9:56PM
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duhamelski
Posts: 3842 - Karma: 192
why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

cuz he got shot
May 10 2006 9:58PM
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iskilibertys
Posts: 996 - Karma: 23
Womens Rights
May 10 2006 10:00PM
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-benedetto
Posts: 5238 - Karma: 1,359
why the baby fall out of the tree?

he was stapled to the monkey
May 10 2006 10:02PM
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iskilibertys
Posts: 996 - Karma: 23
whats worse than 11 babies stapled to a tree?





one baby stapled to 11 trees.
May 10 2006 10:07PM
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Ddrem
Posts: 894 - Karma: 10
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
May 10 2006 10:07PM
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rsd
Posts: 1236 - Karma: 10
WHy are Redneck murders so hard to solve?

cuz there is no dental record and all the DNA is the same.
May 11 2006 12:13AM
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freestyle_kyle
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 164
why did the hippo fall outa the tree?

he thought it was a game
May 11 2006 12:21AM
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Ski-hobo
Posts: 7121 - Karma: 15
haha, new one to me
May 11 2006 12:23AM
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Ski-hobo
Posts: 7121 - Karma: 15
heres a pretty good one, Ive posted it on here before

And Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman all are having a beer at a pud when three flies land in each of their drinks.
The Englishman put the beer aside and refuses to drink anymore.
The Scotsman picks out the fly and continues to drink.
The Irish man picks out the fly, holds it by the wings infront of his face and yells
"ALL RIGHT YE MOTHERFUCKER, SPIT IT BACK, ALL OF IT!!"
May 11 2006 12:25AM
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Vonsweegner3
Posts: 124 - Karma: 30
Why did the kid fall off the swing?




He didn't have any arms.
What's green and brown and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you?




a camo refrigerator
May 11 2006 12:33AM
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k2yeags
Posts: 2320 - Karma: 27
what happened when the jewish guy with a boner rand into the wall??


He broke his nose
May 11 2006 12:45AM
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617freeskier
Posts: 544 - Karma: 71
womens rights
May 11 2006 9:44AM
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lineskier582
Posts: 175 - Karma: 10
one of ku klux knieval's latest stunt included trying to jump 100 black men with a steamroller
May 11 2006 10:09AM
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T-Nels
Posts: 347 - Karma: 11
why did the little girl drop her lollipop?

BECAUSE SHE GOT HIT BY A TRUCK
May 11 2006 10:20AM
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kirbe
Posts: 168 - Karma: 67
jpoke go toek fag et e
May 11 2006 10:21AM
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SN0WBOARDER
Posts: 1454 - Karma: 11
how do you fit 50 jews in a car?

two in the front, two in the back and the rest in the ashtray
May 11 2006 11:32AM
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-benedetto
Posts: 5238 - Karma: 1,359
^^thats just fucked up to make fun of a time when 6 million jews died and 6 million other people
May 11 2006 12:10PM
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ninjea
Posts: 2083 - Karma: 28
Q:why the the blond die.

A:she got out of the boat to push.

Q:why did the old lady fall out of the window

A:she was ironing the curtains
May 11 2006 12:23PM
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DunDunDun
Posts: 989 - Karma: 13
how did the copper wire get invented?
two dutchman pullin on a penny
May 11 2006 12:37PM
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andy_boy
Posts: 4434 - Karma: 107
This is a great thread, keep it up!
May 11 2006 8:49PM
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sebbyyy
Posts: 129 - Karma: 10
HAHAHAHAHBAHBAHSGDSHAGDHAHAHAGDhaSGHGAHSDGHSGDHSGDHAHAHAHAHSDHHSAGDIWUIUSAYFIUYFIUSAYFIUASSHASGDAHHA
May 11 2006 8:51PM
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C-Burg
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 130
did you hear that joke about Hellen Keller

Neither did she
May 11 2006 8:52PM
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shrEddie
Posts: 5117 - Karma: 65
not funny
May 11 2006 9:05PM
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Poormansvault
Posts: 427 - Karma: 10
Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?
-Because she was a woman.

What did her parents do when she was bad?
-Move the furniture around.

When she was really bad?
-Glue doorknobs to the walls.

When she was really really bad?
-Turn the stools upside down.

When she was absolutely terrible?
-Leave a plunger in the toilet.
May 11 2006 9:06PM
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-benedetto
Posts: 5238 - Karma: 1,359
lmfao i tell these jokes to my friends and they all laugh. i find these corny shits mad funny
May 11 2006 9:19PM
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schlonginator
Posts: 3971 - Karma: 27
What do you call a mexican whos lost his car?

--Carlos
May 11 2006 9:25PM
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Dr.Dank
Posts: 1642 - Karma: 51
Why didn't dangerousk use the searchbar?

Because he was an idiot n00b
May 11 2006 9:26PM
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Elijah.
Posts: 9322 - Karma: 76
fuck you
nah im just kdding
im jew and i kno more jew jokes than anyone else

what do you call a black priest?
HOLY SHIT!
May 11 2006 9:38PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
i wanna hear some "white" jokes. everyone makes fun of black people but i've never heard a good white person joke before.
May 11 2006 9:41PM
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dowalibeast
Posts: 3339 - Karma: 207
so are me and my friends the NOT the only ones utilizing the awesomness that are face jokes?!
May 11 2006 9:42PM
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sebbyyy
Posts: 129 - Karma: 10
:p same but then they're all like where did u get this shit then i tell them newschoolers then they beat me down cuz they're fags.....and they snowboard
May 11 2006 9:54PM
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C-Burg
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 130
what do you do if you see your TV floating in the middle of a snow storm

Yell Drop it honkey
May 11 2006 9:56PM
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cjb1776
Posts: 599 - Karma: 10
State Slogans

Alabama:
At Least We're not Mississippi

Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!

Arizona:
But It's a Dry Heat

Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain't Everthing

California:
As Seen on TV

Colorado:
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character

Delaware:
We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water

Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia:
Without Atlanta we're Alabama

Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho:
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois:
Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa:
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas:
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky:
Five Million People; Seven Last Names

Louisiana:
We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos,
But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine:
We're Really Cold,
But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland:
A Thinking Man's Delaware

Massachusetts:
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's

Michigan:
First Line of Defense From the Canadians

Minnesota:
10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi:
Come Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri:
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work

Montana:
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else

Nebraska:
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada:
Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire:
Go Away and Leave Us Alone

New Jersey:
You Want a ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York:
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...

North Carolina:
Tobacco is a Vegetable

North Dakota:
We Really are One of the 50 States!

Ohio:
We Wish We Were In Michigan

Oklahoma:
Like the Play, only No Singing

Oregon:
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania:
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island:
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina:
We Have Never Actually Surrendered to the North

South Dakota:
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee:
The Educashun State

Texas:
A Whole 'Nother Country!

Utah:
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont:
Yep

Virginia:
Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington:
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

Washington, D.C.:
Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia:
One Big Happy Family -- Really!

Wisconsin:
Come Cut Our Cheese

Wyoming:
Wynot?
May 11 2006 10:17PM
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sneather
Posts: 6672 - Karma: 19
haha i like that one
May 11 2006 10:33PM
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MitchPee
Posts: 8871 - Karma: 1,509
Oh and making fun of black people who were beaten in the streets and killed for trying to get equality isn't cool too? Loosen up it was a long itme ago. The wounds have healed and the holocaust is in the past. If we can't laugh and learn from our mistakes, why bother remembering them?


What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?



The dog had skid marks leading up to it.
May 11 2006 10:39PM
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FUUUCK
Posts: 18426 - Karma: 4,888
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!


why cant hellen keller drive?












cause she's a women
May 11 2006 10:48PM
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brennanmidwest
Posts: 925 - Karma: 13
why does helen keller masturbate with her right hand?

so she can moan with her left.


Why did helen keller wear spandex?

so you could read her lips
May 11 2006 10:51PM
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FUUUCK
Posts: 18426 - Karma: 4,888
ew
May 11 2006 10:54PM
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-benedetto
Posts: 5238 - Karma: 1,359
lmfao
May 11 2006 11:03PM
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WONTON
Posts: 6951 - Karma: 55
So a pretzel walked across the street...what happened???











It was aSALTed




BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
May 11 2006 11:04PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
a goldfish walks into a bar and the bartender says "what can i get you?"
the fish says "water"


yep, i heard it from that kia commercial or w/e
May 12 2006 12:20AM
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reggyboy
Posts: 1608 - Karma: 13
how do u stop the neigbours kids comming to ur house?

molest them
May 12 2006 9:25AM
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T-Nels
Posts: 347 - Karma: 11
what did terry schiavo name her dog?

nothing!
May 12 2006 9:37AM
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never_summer
Posts: 1010 - Karma: 10
that commercial makes me want to go swallow a knife
May 12 2006 9:41AM
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Leckett
Posts: 0 - Karma: 13
old...but if you havent heard it:

so theres this girl sitting on the beach with no arms and no legs; a torso. she is trying to catch some sun when she spies a rather attractive man walk by. she starts talking to him and says "well, my life has been hard, and ive never really hugged anyone before". the man feeling her doupt, thought whatever, and hugged her. the girl, seeing his kindness, then asked "well ive never kissed anyone before and..." so the guy figures ok ill kiss you. then the girl, feeling a little lucky, then asks "well ive never been fucked before and i would reallyl ike the experience". so the man picks her up and wails her into the ocean and says "NOW YOUR FUCKED!"
May 12 2006 9:51AM
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