Fight in school ( underdog ) REWRITE ++

*********** TRANSLATION BY WOODSHELF*************

It all started today when Kevin Ferris (a fat pot head douche bag) was being a total jerk to mortil. He feels obligated to act this way because his older brother is really cool. He grabbed mortil's hat and started to rub it all over his sweaty fat guy scrot. In retaliation, mortil grabbed the guys cell phone and hurled it at a brick wall, shattering it into a million pieces. He figured it wasn't that big of a deal since Kevin mentioned that he was planning on destroying it anyway in order to get a new one. Anyway, the sight of the phone smashing against the wall could be seen from all directions, as we have done this many times before our natural reaction is to cheese the fuck out of there. Only this time, the behemoth was standing right behind mortil and pushed him into a pile of backpacks.

The battle was about to begin. In one corner we have Kevin Ferris, jerk extraordinare weighing in at about 220lbs. In the other corner we have FoH's finest, mortil weighing in at around 130lbs of bone and skin.

Kevin makes the first move by pushing mortil down, who quickly stumbles to his feet and sizes up his opponent. Out of nowhere mortil plants his fist into the jerks face, causing a tidal wave of blood to spew out across the floor. It got everywhere, including my pant leg and shoes. Kevin came back by tackling mortil in a fit of bloody rage, causing them both to tumble down a set of stairs. Mortil is now crushed under the weight of this beast, and suffers a few blows to the head as he is incapacitated. The hits were weak, he didn't even realize he was hit at all. This is when my "friendship" switch gets turned on and I jump in to aid this fallen warrior! I put kevin in a full nelson and drag him away from mortil. I look down and see his face is a little red, but no blood present. That's when I realize how fucked up this fat kid is, his face looked like it got smashed in with a brick!

Two teachers then rush in to break it up, but the fight was pretty much over by then anyway. Fatty McFuckedupgrill gets sent to the nurse, while the teachers talked to us about what happened. We explained, and I got commended for my act of heroism while my good friend mortil gets a three day suspension aka he gets to play eq2 while i'm stuck in school. Now Kevin, Mortil, and their respective parents all have to attend a meeting to discuss what happened. Kevin will say "Mortil chucked my phone at a wall" and mortil will say "dude rubbed my hat on his nuts" which will be followed by laughter and sweet justice at the end of a belt buckle by Mr. Ferris.

All in all, mortil suffered some bent glasses and some marks from where they rubbed on his face. Kevin ended up with a smashed in face and a cell phone scattered across 20 feet of concrete.

"I was there the whole time , i saw all of this start to finish. i am the only credible source of this fight...IF YOU DISAGREE ILL PUNCH U IN THE FACE."

The moral of the story is:

He who fucks with FoH, gets punched in the face.