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The Official korny joke thread...
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I am looking for the korniest jokes out there. Real kneeslappers please Planning to have a rap battle thing with korny jokes. Here are two examples:
So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?"
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A bear walks into a bar and says, "Bartender get me a
beer and some peanuts." and the bartender says, "why the big pause(paws)?"
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A blonde walks into a bar and says, "ow"
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Insult me once you can spell. It's lose not loose.
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HAHAHAHA omg lolol that was soo funny but here's one:
kid 1: hey wanna get a henweigh?
kid 2: whats a henwiegh?
kid 1: about 2 or 3 pounds
hahahaha
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Why do women have boobs?
So you got something to look at when you talk to them!
You can give Family Guy credit for that one, I hope it's corny enough(notice the "c" in corny).
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u r sofa king we todd did
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Is that Mr. Bill in your icon? Now thats a knee slapper
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people just need to contribute a bunch of those popsicle stick jokes. they were classics. maybe if htey spent as much time makng their jokes as they spent making delicious popsicles they could have come up with some good ones.
heres an example: when does cheese not belong to you?
When it's Nacho Cheese!
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hahaha that ones actually really funny
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If april showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
Straight off a Laffy Taffy wrapper, so that is the epitome of corny.
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A jar of mayonnaise is in the fridge and say, "Hey close the fridge door, i'm dressing."
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why are women such bad drivers?
theres no roads in the kitchen.
a man walks into a bar. "ouch"
how many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
10. 1 to make the dough, and 9 to peel the smarties.
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what did the mauri say to the jew?
he brew (hey bro)
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what building has the most stories?
the library
(popsicle stick joke)
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why do seaguls fly by the sea?
because if they flew by the bay they'd be baguls!!!!
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What do you call a lesbian with 2 girlfriends?
A bush hog
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there are two muffins in an oven and one muffin says to the other," so we are going to die what should we do?" and the other muffin says
"AHHHHHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!"
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Im about to fucking dominate this thread so get ready.
Q. What do you call a hot girl who's about to eat a bannana?
A. Appealing!
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OHHH!!!!!
why did the walrus go to the tupawar party?
because he was lookin for a tight seal!
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HAHAAHA fuck these jokes are actually so funny
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Yankee Doodle went to town
A-riding on his mother
Every time he hit a bump
He had another brother!
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so a rope walks into a bar and the bartender says "we dont serve ropes, get out". so the rope leaves and he runs into a cowboy. He says to the cowboy "can you tie me in a knot?" and the cowboy does. Then he says "can you maybe just fray my end a bit?" and the cowboy does. So now the rope goes back into the bar, and the bartender sayd "arent you that same rope I just talked to!?" and the rope says "Im afraid not!" buahahaha! you get it? a fraid knot? hahahaha epic
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why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
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hahahahha ok i got one. to say this you have to get relly into it and get super emotional
so thers theese two muffins in an oven and its just burning hot in there and one muffin says. man its hot in here and the other muffin says OH MY GOD ITS A TALKING MUFFIN!!
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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.
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kinda long but funny...
So a Jewish guy and a Chequaslavian guy go to the Zoo. The Jewish Guy Dares the Chequslavian guy to jump into the lion cage for 5 seconds. The Chequslavian guy says ok whatever, and does it... Well theres a Male and a Female in the cage and the Female ends up attacking him and eating him before he can get out...
20 minutes later the cops come and ask the Jew what happened, and ask Him which Lion ate the Chequslavian guy. The Jew says the Male lion ate him so the proceed to killing it and cut it open and theres no body. They then Cut open the Female and find the Guy dismembered and get the body...
Whats the Moral of the story?
Never believe a Jew who says the Cheq's in the Male
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how do you know if there's a rhino in your oven?
the door won't close.
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A goldfish walks into a bar
The bartender says: "what can i get ya"
Goldfish says: "water!"
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whats round and really really violent?
a vicious circle!
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1:hey do you have any updowg?
2:whats updowg?
1:nothing much hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha
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That was so funny. were in the computer lab in our library and everyone is laughing
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what do you call a hippie's wife?
mississippi
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oooh, heres another one.
census taker: how many children do you have miss?
lady: 4
census taker: can i have their names please?
lady: eenie, meanie, meinie, and george
census taker: wait...whyd you name the last one george?
lady: cause we didnt want any moe
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What is the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken
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horse walks into the bar, the bartender says, why the long face?(da dum crash)
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ouch, that's harsh.
what has two legs and is really bloody????
half a cat.
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-What did a computer technician wash during the spring cleaning?
-His windows!
Oh man, I have 100 jokes about computers that my aunt sent me. They are so horrible.
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i had a dream about a muffler and woke up exhausted
wut do u call an alligators helper? a gatoraid.
whats a metaphore? to keep the cows in.
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sure.
what did one music note say to the other as they were crossing the street?
we better see sharp or we're gonna be flat.
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not really a joke but i like it
"Get on your knees and smile like a donut"
and
"Do you know what really sucks?... when you finish a jar of nasty mayonaise and find a condom on the bottom."
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oh and
"Whats worse than a bloody tampon...a vampire eating the bloody tampon"
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hahaha, iwas totally thinking that one
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what did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor?
Wheres my tractor?
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for people from boulder: (everybody is an ex hippy and does yoga, love hiking mountains, being in the wilderness, vegans, etc.)
how many boulderites does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10, only 1 to screw it in and the other 9 to share the experience
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how do you catch a unique rabbit?
unique up on it.
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what pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff
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What do inuits get from sitting on ice to long?
Poloroids
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how many bee's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2 but we dont know how they got there
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and finally for this post...
Matt daimon went to the doctor's, to ask him a personal question... so when he got to the doctor he say's "you know doc, i have been having this problem, everytime i look in the mirror i get an erection." the doctor replyes without missing a beat and he says "i'm not surprised...
Because you're a pussy!"
so those are the corny jokes i feel like posting right now
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