The perfect day

Dunno who wrote this but i found it comical

THE PERFECT DAY......

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants open presents - expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner

9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer

10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry

12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe !

12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds

1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit

3:00 Nap

4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer

4:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror

7:30 Candle-lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers

10:00 Hot shower (alone)

10:50 Carried to bed . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)

11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms


THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM

6:00 Alarm

6:15 Blow job

6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section

7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler

7:30 Limo arrives

7:45 Several beers en-route to airport

9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet

9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)

9:45 Play front nine - 2 under

11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon

12:15 Blow job

12:30 Play back nine - 4 under

2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)

2:30 Fly to Bahamas

3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot displaying growlers

4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle

5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over, naturally).

6:45 Shit, Shower, and Shave

7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated

7:30 Dinner: crabmeat appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by mango ice cream served on a big pair of tits

9:00 Napoleon brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch football game

9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies..some bending over)

11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty hot-pepper pizza snacks and a cleansing beer

11:30 A night-cap blow job

11:45 To bed alone

11:50 A 22 second fart which changes notes 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep