ATTENTION SHOPPERS!!!!
Attention 9 to 5 folk, cell-phone masses
The up and coming classes
Attention sports-utility
Plastic surgery suburbanites
Viagra-popping, gucci shopping urbanites,
Attention george clooney loonies,
Promise keeper sheep,
Stockbroker sleepwalkers
Big investment talkers
Ricki lake watchers,
Attention Walmart congregation,
Shop til you drop generation
ATTENTION NATION
AMERICA'S ON SALE
We've unstocked the welfare pantry
To restock the wall street gentry
It's economically elementary
Cause values don't pay
Yes American dreams are on permanent layaway
(there was limited availability anyway)
so the statue of liberty's being dismantled
$10 a piece to sit on your mantle or hand on your wall
by the small somalian child
you bought from Sally Struthers
sisters and brothers, it's now or never.
These deals won't last forever
AMERICA'S ON SALE
Restrictions may apply if you're black, gay or female
And shoppers
Global perspective is ninety-nine percent off
Cause most of the world don't count to us
Our ethic inventory's low
Cause moral business has been slow,
Yes, the values company is moving to Mexico
And ALL ETHICS MUST GO!
It's a remote control America that's on sale cause standing up for justice couldn't compare to clicking through it from a lazy chair.
Answer: jerry, montel, oprah
Question: folks who really care…for $1,000,000,000
In this new mcveggie burger world order
Where the mainstream scene has an alternative theme
Sugar daddy and ginger spice and all cultures spliced
That's what music is made of when
AMERICA'S ON SALE!
National health care's one-hundred percent off
And medicare's in the 50% bin
So you can by half an operation when
AMERICA'S ON SALE
And there's a closeout bid to determine
Which religion will win
All the neon flashing signs of sin
The Christian coalition is bidding high
Shoppers, you ask why?
Who needs a higher power when you've got
Purchasing power to corner and market one human mold
That's right-real family values are being undersold!!
And it's open hunting season for the NRA
So there's a special uzi discount only today
Gun control: we say
Black bear black man blow them both away
And the Guiliani welfare mamas are on the auction block
We're closing out this country the way we began
So stop up for our fastest selling commodity
No waiting lines for HIV
Condoms and needle exchange are a hard to sell thing
(to the right wing)
so if you are a druggie or a fag
rent to own your own body bag NOW
while AMERICA'S ON SALE
we're selling fast to the AT&T CEO
he's stealing all utilities he doesn't pass go
and collects 1,000,000 anyway
he's the monopoly winner
cause he bought the whole board
and we bought the whole game
now so price is the same
cause inflation's up on the CEO ego
and power's deflated as far as we go:
cause Nike bought the revolution
and law schools bought the constitution
and tommy hilfiger bought the red, white and blue
a flag shirt for fifty dollars
the one who's being burned is you
marlboro bought what it means to be a man
and lexus equals power so get it while you can
and maybelline's bought beauty
and new york's buying rudy
and mastercard's gold bought the national soul
Broadway bought talent and called it CATS
The republicans bought out the democrats
They liquidated all asses in a fat white donkey sale
Now it's buy one shmuck get one shmuck free
In the capitalist party
And there's nothing left to get in the way
Of a full blue-light blow out
Of the US of A
There's a no nothing back guarantee
A zero year warranty
When you buy this land of the fritos, ruffles and lays
The home of the braves and the reds and the slaves
So call 1-800-I DON'T CARE ABOUT SHIT
Or
www.FUCK ALL OF IT
To receive your credit for the fate of our nation
Interest is at an all time low
So with these sales pitching verses
I should win for customer service
I'm like Crazy Eddie
I'm going insane in America
Where the almighty dollars sparkle and shine
This Starbucks land that's yours and mine
But America's selling fast shoppers
BUY IT ALL WHILE YOU CAN
Cause America's been downsized citizens
And you're all fired.
-Alix Olson