and then yielded this
I've had a lot of time to think, and this is the result of said pondering.
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People often ask me if I will take it easy, ski with more caution, or not take so many risks in the future given the extent of the injuries I endured as a result of my accident. Some even go as far as to recomend that I do these things. I devoted much of my mental capacity to the contemplation of this question during the three weeks I was on high doses of pain killers. The final answere came to me in the following form- When I was in 7th grade I badly fractured my right clavicle playing hockey. From then on I played hockey in fear. I was timid and cautious on the ice and my hockey career didn't last much longer. While this led to some things I regret- not playing high school hockey, the lesson I have taken from that when I look back is clear and concise. I cannot and will not live in fear of bodily injury. Some say that if I skied with more caution, I would still be skiing right now, but then I think of the incredible experiences I have had skiing the way I do and the thought of never having lived them is sickening to me. I will come out of this skiing and living harder and faster than I have ever before, and though I have been to a very dark place of pain that I would like to avoid, I will conquer my fear whenever it decides to show its face. The opposite of fear is not courage. It is love. Love for another to step into a fight, love for a sport that one is trying to get back to, or as it pertains to me right now love of life and the amazing feeling that is attained when one truly lives life to the fullest. I choose to burn brightly for the length of time I am on the earth, however long it might be. As for now, I have decided that there is only one way to rise from ashes- better, stronger, faster, and burning more brightly than ever before.
