Rant

The tram was crowded this morning as it climbed rapidly in the clear blue French sky. The 22 inches of new powder snow had gotten everyone in town up early…..oh god I think I’m going to be sick. Ski magazine poetic bullshit.
Skiing sucks. Living in a mountain town is a waste of your time and a waste of your life? I’m telling it straight. A waste of your life. Your only employed for 6 months of the year. Then what are you going to do? Spend six months of the year doing a crappy job with no continuity just so that you can ski in the winter. Fine its justified to have a crappy job if you get to ski as well, but in the summer when you have to work those crappy jobs where is your consolation. I guess you could go south for the summer. Do the endless winter thing. If that plane ticket doesn’t send you broke the nz, aussie dollar sure will. But is ok, because your skiing right. Hell no. It doesn’t snow in the land down under. Everyone knows that. It’s a desert land my friend. Your wasting your time. I guess you could always work on the golf course. HA!


What about the girls and the partying. Girls in ski towns always give it it up didn’t you know that. Girls Girls. Ha. There aren’t any girls in a ski town. Here is a little truism for you. How are parking spaces and girls in a ski town the same? They’re either taken, or they are handicapped. She isn’t your girlfriend, its just your turn. When I say handicapped. I mean totally fucked up beyond belief. I mean psychotic, crazy nutcases. The type who kicks in your door and steals stuff, the type that punches your friends, the type that camps out on the bus so they can abuse you when you get on, the type that throws beer in your face or fills your ski boots with crushed cookies, you know the regular everyday girl you find everywhere right. Nope, ski town original. Look at the people who come to a ski town. Punks, little punks, I’m not talking about punks in the NoFx sense but in the ‘get off my lawn you little punks’ sense. Morons, all of them. Not a brain cell between them. Oh yeah, I’ve lived here for 2 months I’m so cool. Fuckers.

Parties, yeah parties arent that bad. I’m not a fan of the throwing up, the fights the hangovers, oh goddamn the hangovers are killers. That sun reflects off the snow so bright it pierces your corneas and explodes out the back of your head. Boy can those little kids be perceptive. So, little Johnny this is how you stop on your ski’s as you lean over to help him stand up. ‘You smell, you smell like my daddy’. Thanks kid.

Its all worth it right? I mean you get to ski nearly everyday. NO, NO YOU DON’T. Not when you break your ankle for the second winter in a row. Not when you sit inside and watch everyone else ski the best snow they’ve ever experienced. Not when you have to sit and listen with a smile on your face as they tell you about a this one chute where the snow was sliding just as fast as they could go, or the face shots or the tree run, or the Fucking backflip they did while you sat at the goddam computer. Hows the ankle going they ask, before launching into a description of how great it was, barely waiting for the predictable’ oh it feels a little better today’. Well fuck them and fuck you too.

Then you have to watch those rich fucks that never even leave the groomers, god I hate them so much. If I owned a ski hill there wouldn’t be one single groomed run. If you can’t ski terrain fuck off. Actually no, I don’t care if you can ski terrain or not, just as long as you give it a try, and don’t be a PUSSY. Everyone should learn to make a wedge turn on a flat bump run. Make it easier for them in the long run.

I love it, but sometimes it pisses me off so much. AAAGGGGHHHH