Replying to Rain, Planes and middle fingers: My spring break rant
10 days ago, my family and I left Montana to travel to Kauai, Hawaii for our annual spring break trip. This was my last spring break with the fam, so they wanted to make it a good one. Going into the trip, I was stoked. Kauai sounded like a fun ass place to spend 10 days, even if I wasn't getting wasted with all my friends. We spend an entire day flying there, which is extremely grueling. We got in too late so we had to stay in Honululu that night and catch a plane to kauai the next day. After a horrible sleep in a fleabag hotel, we get over to kauai. First turn out of the airport, my dad cuts off this guy in a massive truck and almost gets us killed. The guy drives by with a solid one finger solute and is yelling "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE" repeatedly. Good start. As we are pulling into our hotel, I am both shocked and amazed to see the parking lot filled full of water, literally flooded. Stepping into the condo unit, I look out the back door and see that where there was once a big grass yard that the hotel sits on is now a pond. Ducks and geese had already starting calling it home. I turn on the TV to the weather channel and see the extended 7 day forcast. What I saw was Heavy showers, that was the forcast for every single day. It was about this time that I started wishing I was in Park City with all my friends. Well after 2 consecutive days of sitting in the fucking condo, the rain finnaly abates enough to go try some golf. I play like shit, it was afterall my first time in 6 months. I quit after nine holes and ask my dad if I can take the car back to the condo, it was only a couple miles. He says "No, you have to be 25 to drive a rental car according to law, it's out of the question." So I walked along a 2 lane highway with drivers screaming past me at 60 mph. Then it started dumping rain. The next 4 days were driving around aimlessly in pouring rain, looking for something to do. We didn't find shit. The last day we were there, the rain stopped and it got sunny of course. We took a guided tour to some big waterfall. After padding 3 miles upstream and hiking 3 miles through the jungle, with two treacherous river crossings I might add, we came to the falls. That was pretty sick I will admit, seeing the same waterfall that was in jurassic park. Our travel agent ingeniously booked us for the red eye flight, which meant first leaving kauai at 8 pm, getting to honolulu, waiting until 11 and then making the 5 hour flight to LA in the middle of the night. I was trying my best to sleep, but every 20 minuites the fucking stuardess would come by and wake me up asking in half asian half english "suh, wooood you leek somdin to drin?" "No, I would like to sleep whore." Once we get to LA, the nightmare is far from over. We discover we must leave terminal 5 and go to terminal 6, which involves the security process all over agian. We come to the terminal and see a line of probably 300 people WAITING TO GET THEIR FUCKING ID's CHECKED. I want to know why the fuck it matters. Some fucking towel head can still blow the shit out of a building whether he uses an alias or not. Good thing those smart airport security guards checked his ID. Now they know who it was. Too bad he is dead. Fucking idiots. Then we have to go through the X ray and all that shit, again, with 300 people in front of us and our flight close to taking off. Of course, my mom gets picked for "secondary screening." The plane takes off late and we only had a 30 min layover in Salt lake. Sprinting, we barley make our flight and wouldn't you know it, the screaming baby is one seat ahead of me, and the fat man who cant quite fit in his designated seat is right behind me, slamming my seat the whole time. I have left out so many shitty things that happened but I am tired of typing. So how was everyone's spring break?
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