Snowboarder Magazine

bwahahahaha

haha thats funny

woah... didn't mean to send that, but here is the rest...

After a long season of rigorous, 'dressing' for the vintersport, it comes as a relief to many that occasionally the slopes provide oppurtunities for one to celebrate their extreme epidermis in ways only infants, vagrants and citizens of snility can normally get away with.
there is no date on the calendar designated for this desig-nudity- it's usually spontaneous, although events centered around nude ascents were once part of organized tradition at places like Crested Butte', Colorado. Unfortunately naked ski days began attracting representatives of the adult entertainment industry. Furthermore, frostbite quickly became the new STD(snowly transmitted disease) in the rocky mountains. although technically banned, these organ-ic days do still exist. You can discover the details of such celebrations br lurking around rest rooms or dilapidated out-of-bounds shacks or by inquiring with frisky lifties.
this is the only acceptable day for snowboarders to use a pole on the hill, and one must'nt be ashamed of their own personal, uh, drawbacks in the cold for it's pervading perversion amongst males in the buff, Un-sheath and fight the breeze. Hell, make some yellow snow of your own. Drive by shower your pal or properly highlight the take off of any poorly marked jump in ways you can only chuckle about the other 364 days of the year. The winter of frigidity can rapidly turnto the steamy spring of love you'll never forget.
Before disrobing there are some articles you must consider, aside from the obvious- nose plugs being one. A mountain seasoned with fleshy home erecti blasting major un-muted stiffles, the stalest fishes and rawest roast beefs for hours on end begins to smell like a fully stocked outhouse in a mining town, so i highly reccommend impenetrable nasal protection.
Quite possibly the most underused form of protection and regrettablly so is sunscreen. sunscreen manufacturers have noted the spike in the selling pattern at this time of year and have promised a future surplus of 'body-sized' economy packages. Big enough to cover even the most rotund of humans. If you don't buy buy big, than you will buy many- up to seventeen bottles to cover your entire corpus. It's important to coax someone into covering those hard to reach regions of yours, and when people say 'where the sun don't shine' don't listen to them- EVERY-WHERE gets hit by rays, as long are you are melanin-ly challenged.You should spend the bucks if you are getting buck naked. Dead, peeling skin cells, aloe and painful days in bed are a far worse price to pay.
With all this running around in the nude, it's easy to forget some of the most important winter rules, such as how easy it is for human flesh to stick to freezing surfaces. That is why i'm reminding you to abstain from allowing your raw, soft, moist tissue to directly contact those metalliv chairs, and to always use protection when riding the poma lifts. In fact one should abstain from surface lifts altogether.

haha, that's amazing

lol yea i have a subscription to snowboarder for some reason and when i saw that i laughed in my bed. they have some good articles once in a while.

HAHAHAHA thats funny

haha yeah i thought so, i tried to control my laughter in the airport so people wouldn't stare.

hell you shuldve just stood up on a desk in the middle of the airport and read it out loud..that would have been pimp

well considering it was about 9 in the morning.. and im not a morning person that would be a no way in hell. Plus, all the people traveling were business people and they all looked like assholes, except for the redneck i had to sit next to who pretty much cried like a baby the whole plane ride cause it was alittle shaky (still very funny none the less)So i kept myself reserved and saved it to send it to you fine people of NS.