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October, 2024

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Mitch Hedberg = FUNNY SHIT!

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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 55
Just check out the signature. Mitch is one of the funniest comedians ever. Up there with George Carlin and Dane Cook.
Feb 16 2006 10:20PM
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KatyPerry.
Posts: 1051 - Karma: 23
hahaha these ones are golden ^^

i was gunna have my teeth whitened, but then i said fuck that, i'll just get a tan instead
Feb 18 2010 11:55PM
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powday
Posts: 3055 - Karma: 326
hahah this one is funny....

another one about bananas..."My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said no, but I want a regular banana later, so yes."
Feb 19 2010 12:37AM
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*Get_ill*
Posts: 344 - Karma: 6

my favorites are

"i used to do drugs, i still do, but i used to too"

"i pay for donut you hand it to me end of transaction...no need for a reciet....walk outside see the first person Dont act like i didnt buy this donut ive got the documentation right here!"

Feb 19 2010 12:51AM
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Benedetto.
Posts: 2526 - Karma: 64
If fish could talk, the ocean would be loud as SHIT
Feb 19 2010 6:07AM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
I like rice. Rice is good when you're hungry, and want 2000 of something.

I got a belt on that's holding up my pants, and my pants have beltloops that hold up my pants. Who is the real hero here?

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or a really cool-opotamus?

I went to the store and bought 8 apples. The guy asked me if I wanted a bag. I said "no man, I JUGGLE." But I can only juggle 8, so if i buy 9 next time BAGGEM UP!

Only count sheep. If you count endangered animals, you will run out.

I like to throw a toothpick into the forest and say YOU'RE HOME!
Feb 20 2010 1:34AM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
I bought a doughnut, and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut, man, I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut... end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut! I got the doc-u-men-tation right here... oh, wait it's at home... in the file... under 'D'... for doughnut."
Feb 20 2010 1:37AM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
dane cook...
Feb 20 2010 2:36AM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
sucks? yeah i know...

Feb 20 2010 2:56AM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
it was supposed to be like 'dane cook...shut the fuck up.' (cause it's in my sig). but 'sucks' will do just fine.
Feb 20 2010 2:58AM
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I-Ski-AK
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 22
if my boat capsizes, i will reach for a LIIIIME. i am saved by the buoyancy of citrus.
Feb 20 2010 3:04AM
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AKburns
Posts: 464 - Karma: 9
[IMG]https://newschoolers.com/ns3/web/popups/viewimage.php?picurl=http://media.nscdn.com/uploads/member/pictures/1266654922memorial-front-black-tight.jpg[/IMG]

Got my brother this shirt, its beautiful
Feb 20 2010 3:38AM
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AKburns
Posts: 464 - Karma: 9
sorry haven't posted a pic in a long time, another fail probably

[IMG]https://newschoolers.com/ns3/web/popups/viewimage.php?picurl=http://media.nscdn.com/uploads/member/pictures/1266654922memorial-front-black-tight.jpg[/IMG]
Feb 20 2010 3:42AM
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I-Ski-AK
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 22
It would be so damn literal.

BUMP COMEDY
Mar 12 2010 1:51AM
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-ROY-
Posts: 3633 - Karma: 1,503
yes hes rather funny r.i.p
Mar 12 2010 2:23AM
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