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KilaTsunami
October, 2024

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Butter it up

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DJCrazyA
Posts: 946 - Karma: 16
STOEN FROM ANOTHER ONLINE BOARD

ok this is what happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

Heres some backround:

see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (im 22, the girls are 15)

and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Allison, and were going out for a while. We have alot in common, sometimes i help her with homework. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ... anywayz


So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex.

"no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

So I gave her Diddy Kong Racing, and Ken Griffey Jr Baseball, and then she goes to my room. Shes a bit confused and scared.

Then i think to myself - yo i need lube right? Cuz i heard you guys on the board saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.

Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

I dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart and please help me.

Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?
Feb 2 2006 1:21PM
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fucked_edges
Posts: 514 - Karma: 20
hahaha fuck that was awesome! who the fuck puts butter in for 8 miniutes?!!?!?! i usually put it in for 7 at most if im going to pour it all over some sluts cunt
Feb 3 2006 7:56AM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
yea the turtle was good but he was soo annoying. i think i was usually that cute little tiger at the end. i mean how can you resist a cute little tiger with a hat?
Feb 3 2006 12:11PM
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--Binger--
Posts: 724 - Karma: 10
that was the funniest thing i have ever read
Feb 3 2006 12:15PM
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sKILOve07
Posts: 3482 - Karma: 9
my thoughts exactly
Feb 3 2006 12:18PM
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Forum*
Posts: 3455 - Karma: 10
I love Diddy Kong racing, it was one of my first N64 games. So don't bad mouth it.
Feb 3 2006 12:55PM
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010
Posts: 1427 - Karma: 14
that is hillarious. she is bought by n64 games. priceless
Feb 3 2006 1:14PM
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Dan.
Posts: 7201 - Karma: 1,126
wow tahts crazy
Feb 3 2006 1:17PM
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clint
Posts: 978 - Karma: 31
haha, thats hilarious, but also kind of sad.
Feb 3 2006 1:20PM
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l337
Posts: 1244 - Karma: 14
The other sad thing is shes 15 and hes 21 and stillk has his virginity
Feb 3 2006 3:56PM
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010
Posts: 1427 - Karma: 14
this needs to be brought back because it is hillarious. this should have a sticky or something. I re-read this again today and I couldn't stop laughing for a long while
Oct 8 2006 9:08PM
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Ericpbp
Posts: 3161 - Karma: 24
no way conker the squirle  wasa dope
Oct 8 2006 9:24PM
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mothaeast
Posts: 2923 - Karma: 13
GOOD bump, I have been trying to find this for so long. I think it's better than Robe and Wizard Hat
Oct 8 2006 9:26PM
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uni-corn
Posts: 13846 - Karma: 651
Close, but no cigar
Oct 8 2006 9:28PM
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DJCrazyA
Posts: 946 - Karma: 16
bump for the funniness
Oct 30 2006 3:03PM
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smuggsVT
Posts: 2145 - Karma: 19
thats hilarious
Oct 30 2006 5:27PM
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whattheshit
Posts: 6562 - Karma: 107
what a dumb girl, she obviously know nothing about video games. she should have held out until he offered golden eye and killer instinct gold. at least those are good games.
Oct 30 2006 6:05PM
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OAK_TREE
Posts: 2683 - Karma: 12
sounds like a tucker max type story
Oct 31 2006 4:01PM
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manabadman
Posts: 615 - Karma: 255
ahahah my stomach hurts from laughing so much. your hilarious
Oct 31 2006 4:28PM
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manabadman
Posts: 615 - Karma: 255
^my bad the guy you got it from is hilarious. great thread man
Oct 31 2006 4:34PM
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Legit
Posts: 1411 - Karma: 28
that guy has issues one being that HE'S A 22 YEAR OLD VIRGIN
Oct 31 2006 4:39PM
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Pisces
Posts: 905 - Karma: 13
wow..just wow.. fucking hilarious
Nov 5 2006 8:34PM
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Erie
Posts: 1439 - Karma: 15
hahahaha
Nov 5 2006 9:18PM
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010
Posts: 1427 - Karma: 14
BUMP
Apr 18 2007 11:04AM
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STACKS
Posts: 1938 - Karma: 42
this sounds similar to what happened to creighton
Apr 18 2007 11:25AM
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Ronix
Posts: 1396 - Karma: 33
hahaha thats hilarious
Apr 18 2007 11:30AM
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jeremiah
Posts: 18 - Karma: 10
BumP!!!!!!!!!
Apr 18 2007 11:51AM
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SlickRick.
Posts: 4329 - Karma: 300
they make the exact didy kong for ds light now. its so sick
Apr 18 2007 3:35PM
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*DwC*
Posts: 1112 - Karma: 28
haha
Apr 18 2007 3:56PM
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spere
Posts: 6105 - Karma: 248
bahaha!!! thats great
Apr 18 2007 4:55PM
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DDrem.
Posts: 3552 - Karma: 24
hahahaha.
you can bribe anyone with n64 games
Apr 18 2007 5:21PM
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Mezmerize19
Posts: 6475 - Karma: 18
woo still funny even though Ive seen it like 5 times
Apr 18 2007 5:27PM
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MistaFab
Posts: 1277 - Karma: 10
hahahah, omg. i feel sorry for the guy, he doesnt know what he's doing at 22? and the age difference is pretty gross, and hes a huge retard. it takes like 45 seconds to melt butter! that girl probably got 3rd degree burns in her pussy
Apr 18 2007 5:29PM
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max.
Posts: 2022 - Karma: 12
so true
Apr 18 2007 5:31PM
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