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How do you gain weight?

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Torbord
Posts: 320 - Karma: 10
I want to gain weight but no matter what i do I dont gain any weight... I'm talking to people and one buddy says just eat a lot of food when you drink, the alcohal helps store fat. Then a buddy says smoke more you'll get the munchies and gain weight. Another buddy tells me to stop drinking and smoking so much... claims he gained a shit load of weight when he did that. I figure I'll start working out and bulk up that way, but I've had 2 or 3 people tell me that wont work. So now I turn to you NS people, how th fuck do I become a fatass? cause nothing seems to work.
Feb 1 2006 7:09PM
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.John.
Posts: 6943 - Karma: 14
Eat Taco Bell three meals a day
Feb 1 2006 7:10PM
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drewishish
Posts: 3710 - Karma: 23
that and sit on ur ass, yes htat means quit skiing i hate to say it but u work to much to gain alot of weight, if you dont quit skiing at least stop hikin shit that always gets u tired ssepacially in powder like waist deep
Feb 1 2006 7:11PM
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mad_540_trix
Posts: 2452 - Karma: 14
um, eat lots of protien and work out. and if there's not enough protien in ur diet u can add protien powder, just make sure u drink enough water or u get kidney stones and shit like that.
Feb 1 2006 7:11PM
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cj
Posts: 4032 - Karma: 469
eat lots of protien and lift lots of weights. eat anything and everything, all the time.
Feb 1 2006 7:12PM
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Ghst
Posts: 5820 - Karma: 10
Grab a stick of butter or two, you'll be on your way to a quintupple bypass in no time
Feb 1 2006 7:13PM
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Calb3rt
Posts: 6005 - Karma: 2,203
smoke weed, become less motivated, get the munchies, eat, gain weight
Feb 1 2006 7:14PM
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whattheshit
Posts: 6562 - Karma: 107
^yea, then once you put on mass you worry about cutting later. losing the fat while maintaining muscle. this will give you more toned and defined muscles.
Feb 1 2006 7:14PM
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nickmcnutt
Posts: 4396 - Karma: 2,966
for 2 weeks, dont leave the house. sit on the couch, order pizza twice a day, and eat chips and other fatty foods all day long
Feb 1 2006 7:17PM
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whattheshit
Posts: 6562 - Karma: 107
in reply to cj's post.

not these post whores who try to be funny.
Feb 1 2006 7:19PM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
theres a difference between getting fat and gaining weight. it all depends on what you want it for. if you just want to gain weight for the hell of it then just sit in one spot and eat as much junk food as you can but if you workout and you wanna gain more weight then eat as much as you can but the majority of it will be clean foods.
Feb 1 2006 7:21PM
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snowbird4life
Posts: 2265 - Karma: 26
ya but its not really a bad idea to get a little pudgy then build mass, then cut that fat.
Feb 1 2006 8:21PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
eat/work out/eat/work out. get into that sort of routine and you'll put on mass. why? because working out makes you hungry, and when you have lots of energy, you want to work out. so its the sort of cycle that feeds off each other. ever wonder why all the guys at the gym are fucking HUUUUUGE, and there's not too many little fellers? it's because anyone that gets into that routine can't break out, and it makes them giants. all i can say is get that routine set and you're fine. and cut out all that fast food crap, etc. you need a steady intake of protein, carbs (for a quick source of energy), and giver. so basically, eat chicken/steaks, drink milk, eat granola bars and bananas for snacks, and work the fuck out!
Feb 1 2006 8:27PM
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KeegLove
Posts: 10166 - Karma: 55
stop doing so many backflips.
Feb 1 2006 8:33PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
p.s, muscle weighs alot more than fat, and it's healthier, so i wouldn't recommend eating alot of crap foods, because, even though your weight will go up, so will the cholesterol. not good. with 6 months of working out 3 days a week for maybe an hour and a half.... quality work outs... you'd put on 40 lbs easy. trust me, it's been done. my motivation was my dad's buddy from work who's a body builder, tough ass mother fucker, 6'1, 230 lbs of sheer muscle, and he gave me pictures of when he was 18. he was 5'11, 115 lbs. he told me all i'm telling you. a steady routine, healthy meals. all it takes..
Feb 1 2006 8:33PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,142
So how come you're such a scrawny kid then Justin?

Okay so maybe I'm just assuming that.

As for putting on weight... eat stuff. Then do stuff. Doesn't seem that hard to me.
Feb 1 2006 8:36PM
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EndlessWinta77
Posts: 560 - Karma: 13
Drinking more often will slow down your metabolism. Smoking weed will speed it up but can give you munchies. Sounds like your metabolism overpowers the munchies though so i would stop smoking and keep drinking. Drink lots and lots of beer. Eat food that is horrible for you like fast food and pizza as much as possible. Deep fry everything you eat. And start miximg weght gainer supplements with Crisco and eat it like ice cream.
Feb 1 2006 9:52PM
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spyder1
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 11
go to college!! i have gained alot of weight here
Feb 1 2006 10:07PM
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Download-My-Apps
Posts: 5069 - Karma: 1,017
protein shakes do the trick
Feb 1 2006 10:46PM
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reggyboy
Posts: 1608 - Karma: 13
try the first suggestion so u geta dependance on the hsit then stop all of a sudden and u will wanna eat to keep urself busy while thinking bout it. this y people put weight on when the quit smoking. if that dont work go to the gym and go on a heavy protein diet.

and if all eles fails just accept that u will be skinny little rat for eva
Feb 1 2006 11:11PM
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M+M
Posts: 7935 - Karma: 25
eat
Feb 2 2006 2:31AM
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waterville_NH
Posts: 3411 - Karma: 23
live in the weight room, drink creatine, and protien drinks after you work out
Feb 2 2006 3:36AM
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phatbush
Posts: 1693 - Karma: 20
Veg lard will do the trick
Feb 2 2006 3:52AM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13083 - Karma: 18,720
I say start working out. Lift weights, run, what ever, just dont sit on your ass.
Feb 2 2006 3:58AM
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Leckett
Posts: 0 - Karma: 13
mcdonalds mcflurry's have over 5000 calories in them. eat a few of those every day and youll be quite the fatrass
Feb 2 2006 5:06AM
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Jay_L
Posts: 170 - Karma: 33
theres no way of putting on 40lbs in six months unless its pure fat or ure on GH or anavar. And if its ure dads friend who did it, you can bet he aint doing it naturaly
Feb 2 2006 5:07AM
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asac
Posts: 12485 - Karma: 17
wow man you cannot gain weight by just smoking and drinking. you'll just become a fat piece of shit. go to the gym and start lifting.
Feb 2 2006 5:17AM
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RKF
Posts: 1527 - Karma: 342
what i find incredible is how dumb everyone on this site is, the reason you get munchies is because THC is a stimulant, therfore increasing your metabolism, and the amount you need to eat to meet your body's "base metabolic rate". eating junk food when you have the munchies doesnt gain you alot of weight because your metabolism is sped up so much that it all gets burned off.
Feb 2 2006 5:22AM
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*rkp*
Posts: 8198 - Karma: 257
just eat constantly alot of high calorie stuff
Feb 2 2006 5:29AM
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Torbord
Posts: 320 - Karma: 10
So basically all i got from that is, that its alright to eat junk food when you got the munchies.


But theres some awsome ideas here and I dont expect to gain weight over night. It will take awhile and require steady diet and working out more regularly.
Feb 2 2006 12:20PM
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Ghost
Posts: 7116 - Karma: 339
get married.
Feb 2 2006 12:23PM
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Mattman
Posts: 19108 - Karma: 16
hahahahaha
Feb 2 2006 12:27PM
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Norred
Posts: 3520 - Karma: 13
that definatly works for women.
Feb 2 2006 12:28PM
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timofysmif
Posts: 401 - Karma: 19
eat alot of ice cream
Feb 2 2006 12:30PM
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ski_Crystal
Posts: 649 - Karma: 10
i got really sick a while back and lost almost 30 pounds. to gain the wieght back i started lifing or riding every day for about an hour. as for food, i continued eating how i had been eating before i got sick, but i added something to it at every meal. like i'd have extra yogurt with breakfast, a second sandwich with lunch, and an extra bowl or rice or whatever with dinner. or continue eating what you are but snack frequently between meals. if you are ok with gaining fat, eat more at night.
Feb 2 2006 12:38PM
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chapz
Posts: 10182 - Karma: 66
eat a lot of protein
Feb 2 2006 12:49PM
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Frza
Posts: 438 - Karma: 10
Can you explain how riding every day for an hour made you gain weight?
Feb 2 2006 12:57PM
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yeti
Posts: 6335 - Karma: 17
hhhahahahahahahah um no asshat. They have about 900.
Feb 2 2006 1:04PM
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Edward.
Posts: 9366 - Karma: 445
if youre trying to just gain more fat, ice cream and donuts will do the job, if youre trying to get stronger, eat a lot of protein like steak and meats
Feb 2 2006 1:09PM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
why is everyone suggesting jus to eat protein?? any of you know what carbs are??? yeah well eat those if you want to gain weight
Feb 2 2006 1:16PM
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Jib_This
Posts: 8272 - Karma: 9
Step 1: Grocery store
Step 2: Find Pilsbury cookie dough
Step 3: Purchase said cookie dough
Step 4: Go home
Step 5: Eat cookie dough. All of it
Step 6: Repeat daily

Problem solved. Fatty.
Feb 2 2006 1:52PM
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KRASHED
Posts: 7803 - Karma: 466
eat your little brothers crayons and silly puddy
Feb 2 2006 1:55PM
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hurrisun
Posts: 6284 - Karma: 49
go on an all egg diet u gain like 40 pounds easy
Feb 2 2006 1:56PM
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TheQuailman
Posts: 7382 - Karma: 147
r u serious, why wood u want to gain weight?

i asume your tlkin bout muscle so eat a lot of protein and dont eat carbs or sugar unless its rigth before strenuous activity

eat a varity of stuff not just chiken and beef
Feb 2 2006 2:19PM
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spere
Posts: 6105 - Karma: 248
protein powder shakes after workouts and creatine in the morning
Feb 2 2006 2:21PM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
wtf? now this really tells me that 95% of you dont know what your talking about. gaining muscle is impossible without carbs. carbs are a must for putting on weight/mass and you must have them if you plan on building muscle. you gotta eat before you workout so your glycogen levels are high then you workout and burn off the glycogen levels that are stored then when your done you eat more carbs to replenish the glycogen levels and the rebuilding process begins. yes proteins are a must but its what most people have on their minds. oooh i gotta eat protein to get big bla bla bla. get yourself a good diet thats around 400gs of carbs, 175-200g protein and about 60 to 70g of fat.
Feb 2 2006 2:27PM
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RockandRollTroll
Posts: 1155 - Karma: 7
lift weights alot, do heavy weight, about 10 reps for each thing. do your whole body on one day, and i take weight gainer shakes for football
Feb 2 2006 3:09PM
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LineAddiction9
Posts: 616 - Karma: 12
EAT a Jar of Peanut Butter each Night and eat alot of fast food like Mcdonalds and Taco Bell!!! EAT EAT EAT Peanut Butter its like injecting fat into you!!!
Feb 2 2006 3:19PM
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JazzyJ
Posts: 3233 - Karma: 18
eat taco bell value meal #6 for a week. It'll be both the best and worst week of your life
Feb 2 2006 3:26PM
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jimmychung
Posts: 6857 - Karma: 25
there's got to be something that's opposite lyposuction..maybe...lypoinjection?
Feb 2 2006 4:45PM
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teamjib
Posts: 217 - Karma: 10
why the hell do u want to be a fatass?
Feb 2 2006 4:52PM
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