Replying to How do you gain weight?

I want to gain weight but no matter what i do I dont gain any weight... I'm talking to people and one buddy says just eat a lot of food when you drink, the alcohal helps store fat. Then a buddy says smoke more you'll get the munchies and gain weight. Another buddy tells me to stop drinking and smoking so much... claims he gained a shit load of weight when he did that. I figure I'll start working out and bulk up that way, but I've had 2 or 3 people tell me that wont work. So now I turn to you NS people, how th fuck do I become a fatass? cause nothing seems to work.