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KilaTsunami
October, 2024

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got any good ski jokes, post them here

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JIB-this
Posts: 26 - Karma: 10
hey, i was just wondering if anyone had some good ski jokes. just post all the ones you know. thanks
Jan 29 2003 1:50AM
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Pipe_Munky
Posts: 10888 - Karma: 2,184
3 snowboarders in the backseat of a car. who's driving?










the cop!






what's the difference between a snowboard instructor and a never ever snowboarder?









3 days






Viva la Resistance!

Storm Trooper of the Silent Army

Hold my girlfriend while I kiss your skis!
Jan 29 2003 2:00AM
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matchstickid
Posts: 169 - Karma: 10
Why did god cast satan to hell? HE prefered summer.
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skiing is just another way to please yourself without the mess.
Jan 29 2003 2:00AM
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BallinBU
Posts: 882 - Karma: 6
I know this is somewhat racist and I apologize but it's a classic.

What do you call a black skiier?











A Skigro
Jan 29 2003 2:21AM
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schlonginator
Posts: 3971 - Karma: 27
A guy goes to the doctor for a checkup. At the end the doctor says i've got some bad news - you've got cancer and alzimers. 'thank god - at least i don't have alzimers' said the patient

totally not ski related but i thought it was a funny one




______________________________

I'm of ideas for a signature any suggestions?

Just JIB It !!
Jan 29 2003 3:14AM
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JIB-this
Posts: 26 - Karma: 10
i saw this one today:

how do you know your at a party with a ski racer?

- he will tell you
Jan 29 2003 2:12PM
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petek
Posts: 8762 - Karma: 12
What do you call a snowboarder without a girlfriend?






Homeless.

How many boarders does it take to screw a lightbulb?


10, 1 to screw in the light bulb, the other 9 to say 'i can do that'

-this comin from the guy that backseated a safety once.
Friend-'Dude, i just got a 130 on my iq test'
Me- 'Thats an SAT'
Friend-'Oh shit'
Jan 29 2003 4:01PM
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wiener
Posts: 2247 - Karma: 63
what is easier to unload a truck full of dead babies or a truck full of bowling balls??














a truck full of dead babies because you cant pitchfork the bowliing balls
AMA-RIP
Jan 29 2003 9:24PM
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Ski-hobo
Posts: 7121 - Karma: 15
skigro, that was a good joke.

Why cound't Hellen Keller drive?




Because she was a woman.
Jan 29 2003 9:58PM
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Itsbackfliptime
Posts: 18901 - Karma: 75
oh man you can't pitchfork bowling balls. Thats hilarious.

My girlfriend told me to shove my skis up my ass
Jan 29 2003 10:04PM
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l_KeViN_l
Posts: 2108 - Karma: 16
hahaha I like the light bulb one


'Don't like hesh - Don't like rap - kicked ol' sally cos she fat - I'm a jerk I'm a punk took a shower cos I stunk - smoked a bong killed a cat - had my nuts attacked by rats dad got nude - I wore a thong - for a hobby I make bombs' Tom DeLounge
Jan 29 2003 11:54PM
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mfpukala11
Posts: 22 - Karma: 10
weiner....here's more baby jokes:

how many babies does it take to paint a house?
depends on how hard you throw them

whats the difference between jumping on a trampoline and jumping on a baby?
you dont wear boots when jumping on a trampoline

whats the difference between a cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
i dont have a cadillac in my garage
Jan 30 2003 1:07AM
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matchstickid
Posts: 169 - Karma: 10
Whats white and suspended from the sealing? dead baby from a sealing fan

What green amd suspended from the sealing?same baby 3months later.
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skiing is just another way to please yourself without the mess.
Jan 30 2003 1:22AM
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wiener
Posts: 2247 - Karma: 63
i love dead baby jokes
AMA-RIP
Jan 30 2003 2:59AM
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Ski-hobo
Posts: 7121 - Karma: 15
This is kinda of a bad joke but funny

Who was the greatest Jewish cook ever.




Hitler
Jan 30 2003 3:09AM
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switch_skodeo
Posts: 304 - Karma: 11
Why do snowboarders smell?


So blind people can hate them too.
Jan 30 2003 6:24AM
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con_cept
Posts: 1752 - Karma: 10
What's the difference between an Electrician and Michael Jackson?...





One likes to screw lightbulbs and the other likes to screw little boys!


I heard that one about a week ago... a classic!



No Mr.Porcupine, I don't wanna see your weiner
Jan 30 2003 10:26AM
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UpDawg
Posts: 2373 - Karma: 11
What's red bubbly, and scratching against the window?





A baby in a microwave.


Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first?




So you can see the expression on it's face!


Why do you nail a dead baby to a tree?





So you can rip it off!

oh dead baby jokes are so hilarious.
Jan 30 2003 2:57PM
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SUpilot
Posts: 5267 - Karma: 15
that pitch fork baby joke was wrong.....cause if you really wanted to you could use a pitch fork to scoop up bowling balls.

it should say whats the difference between a truck bed full of babies and a truck bed full of sand. you cant use a pitch fork to unload the truck full of sand.


Taste Death. Live Life.
Jan 30 2003 3:56PM
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SUpilot
Posts: 5267 - Karma: 15
2 kids come running downstairs on Christmas morning, and one kid has a huge stack of presents and the other one has only a couple presents, the kid w/ the huge stack of presents turns to the other one and says 'ha ha, i got more presents than you :-P' and the kid w/ only a few presents turns to him and says 'yeah, so, at least I dont have cancer'
Taste Death. Live Life.
Jan 30 2003 3:57PM
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Caden
Posts: 3213 - Karma: 10
why did the dead baby cross the road?
because he was stapled to the chicken.

whats worse then throwing a dead baby off a roof?
catching it with a pitchfork.




subtle part of the ott crew
Jan 30 2003 4:35PM
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Caden
Posts: 3213 - Karma: 10
what did the deaf, blind boy get for christmas?
cancer.


subtle part of the ott crew
Jan 30 2003 4:36PM
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CrystalineSkier
Posts: 1065 - Karma: 16
not really a joke, just a funny story. WE met this little kid going up to the Pass, and it was his first time skiing. we convinced him that moghuls were little tiny creatures,a dn the reason you had poles was to fight them off. he believed us

---------------------------------->
If humans and dolphins are the only mammals on the earth that have sex for pleasure, do dolphins masturbate themselves like humans do?

Andrew: Crap, the 'm' key only works 25% of the time.
Me: Dude, what does the 'm' key do?
Andrew: . . . it types the letter 'm' you dumbass.

Tolerance is not the idea that everyone in the world is vital to the world. . . it's how much beer you can keep down.


Proud Member of the Issy Freeride Team
www.IssyFreeriders.com
Jan 30 2003 5:11PM
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PowderPrincess
Posts: 2767 - Karma: 20
SINCE WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO DEAD BABY JOKES?! EWW
*brooke*

'pocket rocket i hope the next time you get on a chair thhe liftie smashes the back of your legs so you cant even go and be a poser anymore.'- weiner
Jan 30 2003 5:14PM
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petek
Posts: 8762 - Karma: 12
how do you fit 100 babies into a phone booth?

blender.

How do you get them out?



Nachos

-this comin from the guy that backseated a safety once.
Friend-'Dude, i just got a 130 on my iq test'
Me- 'Thats an SAT'
Friend-'Oh shit'
Jan 30 2003 7:28PM
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skia123
Posts: 429 - Karma: 11
What is the difference between Neil armstrong and Micheal Jackson



Neil Armstrong walks on the moon, and Micheal Jackson rapes little kids
Jan 30 2003 10:59PM
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skia123
Posts: 429 - Karma: 11
What does acne and a catholic preist have in common



Acne comes on your face after your 11
Jan 30 2003 11:00PM
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chickskier05
Posts: 2 - Karma: 10
How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a lightbulb.

30 One to screw it in and 29 to critize the turns.

Q: Where does a snowboarder hide his money from his roommates?
A: Under the soap dish.
Q: What is the difference between a snowboard and a vacuum?
A: Where you mount the dirt bag.



Jan 31 2003 1:42AM
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UpDawg
Posts: 2373 - Karma: 11
caden that chicken/dead baby joke was fucking hilarious. i laughed my ass off at that one.
Jan 31 2003 1:43AM
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3ski6guy0
Posts: 9201 - Karma: 132
ya, i like the first one

ProudEST Member of the Hobum Posse

----------------------------------------

As a famous person once said 'I like to ski'
-Famous Person

I want to be a Ski Bum that lives in a tent on the mountains when I'm older.

'You fight with spork. You ride house cat'
-Very amusing calulator game called HicQuest
Jan 31 2003 10:29AM
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DRISKEY
Posts: 2969 - Karma: 14
(ACTUAL SKI JOKE)


skiing is just like sex... when its good, its GOOOOOD, and when its not so good, its still pretty good!
Jan 31 2003 8:34PM
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sirjibsalot
Posts: 5751 - Karma: 19
What did The ski racer say to the park skier?


Im gay.



hahahahahah i just made that shit up but it sure is funny
--->Instead of grabbin everything like a frigging gorrila, we will be borrowing our style from turtles and yanking our shirts over our heads off every jump
Jan 31 2003 8:57PM
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petek
Posts: 8762 - Karma: 12
Why did the baby fall out of a tree?

Because somebody shot it.

Why did the 2nd baby fall out of the tree?

It was stapled to the first one.

Why did the 3rd baby fall outa the tree?

Peer pressure.



-this comin from the guy that backseated a safety once.
Friend-'Dude, i just got a 130 on my iq test'
Me- 'Thats an SAT'
Friend-'Oh shit'
Jan 31 2003 10:30PM
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Snowbird_15
Posts: 316 - Karma: 10
What's the diffrence between ppl telling jokes about skiing and ppl telling dead baby jokes???


About 100 IQ points!!

I just made that up too! and yep it's not only funny, it's TRUE!


AXIS BOARD SHOP!
MONT ST-SAUVEUR SNOWPARK!
Jan 31 2003 11:20PM
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cams
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 26
BURN!

Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.

'What time is it?.. Saturday?
Feb 1 2003 12:19AM
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l_KeViN_l
Posts: 2108 - Karma: 16
haha that one was good


'Don't like hesh - Don't like rap - kicked ol' sally cos she fat - I'm a jerk I'm a punk took a shower cos I stunk - smoked a bong killed a cat - had my nuts attacked by rats dad got nude - I wore a thong - for a hobby I make bombs' Tom DeLounge
Feb 1 2003 1:21AM
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Caden
Posts: 3213 - Karma: 10
ya well, what's the difference between me and you?

i kill the babies before i eat them


subtle part of the ott crew
Feb 1 2003 1:45AM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
I guess this proves that the only good skier jokes are dead baby jokes.
=========================
^Rowen^

Why?

'You're watching the Family Learning Channel. And now, angry ticks will fire out from my nipples.'
- Excerpt from Rejected, a movie by Don Hertzfeldt
Feb 1 2003 3:23AM
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PurpleSkier
Posts: 5634 - Karma: 311
my friend once said, if my wife ever cheats on me and i find out, im gonna skin her with a potato peeler, cut her tits off, and nail them to my wall
_________________


conversation with a canadian chick:
me: your money is fucking worthless
her: you got something against canadians?
me:no, just their money
her: well, what if i marry a rich american guy?
me: well you will be rich, but since you are canadian the money will become worthless whenever it touches your hands
her:wait a minute...good point



If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my wookie
Feb 1 2003 3:51AM
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TAK
Posts: 5007 - Karma: 14
What worse that ten dead babies in a barrel?

One dead baby in ten barrels.



Whats white, red, and can't run through doorways?

A baby with a spear through its neck.





And the pitch fork one (you fools):

What's worse than shoveling dead babies out of the back of a truck?

Using a pitchfork.


What's worse than nailing a dead baby to a tree?

Ripping it off.
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A scholar's ink lasts longer than a martyrs blood - Irish proverb

So, what would jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

Feb 1 2003 8:14AM
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seward
Posts: 5233 - Karma: 2,174
Q = whys stevie wonder always smileing??

A = cause he dosnt know hes black!

im not racist, just thought it was kinda funny lol
Feb 1 2003 11:20AM
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caleBCaleb
Posts: 1758 - Karma: 9
Q: how are pink floyd and dale earnhart alike?

A: Theyre last major hit was the wall



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

''...ride away clean and smiling, and taunt the rail by waving around your middle finger at it. (Note: if you have mittens on then it's important to take them off before preforming this procedure.'' -Boyd Easley (on rail sliding)
Feb 1 2003 4:52PM
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con_cept
Posts: 1752 - Karma: 10
yeah unfortunately the last one wasn't funny... maybe if you had used jason priestly instead or somthin.



No Mr.Porcupine, I don't wanna see your weiner
Feb 1 2003 7:39PM
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con_cept
Posts: 1752 - Karma: 10
Dead baby jokes are funny, but dead people jokes aren't. Unless of course the dead person was a midget or gay.
In fact a dead gay midjet joke would be really funny... ideas anyone?



No Mr.Porcupine, I don't wanna see your weiner
Feb 1 2003 7:45PM
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petek
Posts: 8762 - Karma: 12
Whats a gay and small and just won't die.
Gary coleman, hey it was short notice. And earnhardt is like the mike douglas of nascar, so don't make fun of him.
Here's another one, What would princess diana be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing away at the top of her coffin.
now when somebody asks me if i ever decapitated a fetus, i know what to say- My lab partner after a dissection gone wrong.
Feb 1 2003 7:50PM
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KootenayGuy
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 10
whats worse than a pile of dead babies? one thats alive at the bottom. Whats worse then that? he had to eat his way out.
----now i lay me down to sleep, blah blah blah my soul to keep, if i die before i wake ill go to hell for heavens sake
Feb 1 2003 8:17PM
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Caden
Posts: 3213 - Karma: 10
what's even worse? he made it... whats EVEN worse? he went back for seconds...


subtle part of the ott crew
Feb 1 2003 11:28PM
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ski-bum-1080
Posts: 747 - Karma: 63
why dont u buy a women a watch????



Theres a clock on the kitchen stove!!!
Feb 2 2003 6:10PM
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woodencrate83
Posts: 390 - Karma: 9
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?


nothing... you've already told her twice...
Feb 2 2003 10:41PM
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jarossamdb7
Posts: 6322 - Karma: -10
well my signature is not a joke but it is funny and has to do with skiing
________________________________________


'Holy shit! someone should just pop out of the snow and shoot him with a fucking gun!' -my friend while waching Jeff Holden in Heavy Hittings Parental Advisory




My Flash site that is not compleat yet


________________________________________


Feb 2 2003 11:09PM
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nkmo.
Posts: 3994 - Karma: 285
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on it's face.

Why do you put a baby in the blender head first?
So you can see it kick.




If you are holding up a bank and your pants fall down, it's okay to laugh. And let the hostages laugh to. Because come on, thats funny.
Feb 2 2003 11:13PM
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