Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

POST YOUR FAVORITE JOKE

profile picture
skipimp22
Posts: 42 - Karma: 10
make em good; offensive jokes encouraged
Jan 12 2006 1:56PM
0 0
profile picture
SkiCrzy
Posts: 1211 - Karma: 10
q: how many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red?

a: depends how hard you throw them

q: whats more fun than throwing a baby off a bridge?

a: catching it with a pitch fork

mean but hilarious(you can change the baby word to any one that you want)
Jan 12 2006 10:31PM
0 0
profile picture
MSdemeanor
Posts: 106 - Karma: 10
dead baby jokes are the best, you never wanna replace baby with another word.
Jan 13 2006 8:46AM
0 0
profile picture
Von
Posts: 4869 - Karma: 21
by far the best joke ive ever heard
Jan 13 2006 9:39AM
0 0
profile picture
mutescratch
Posts: 570 - Karma: 10
why do women love jesus christ?





because hes hung like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis
Jan 13 2006 10:05AM
0 0
profile picture
skipimp22
Posts: 42 - Karma: 10
How do you know when an Ethiopian is pregnant?






when u take the tampon out and its half eaten
Jan 13 2006 2:05PM
0 0
profile picture
jizack
Posts: 2486 - Karma: 16
whats long black and smells like shit?

the unemployment line.


whats the difference between a nigger and batman?

batman can go out at night without robin.
Jan 13 2006 2:16PM
0 0
profile picture
niels.
Posts: 1282 - Karma: 14
alright i have a good one but its kinda long i think. here goes. So one day there was a hippy on the bus and a nun sit5ting in the front of the bus. the hippy goes up to the nun and asks her if she wll have sex with him. the nun politely says no and gets off of the bus. then the bus driver says "hey, i know how to get that nun to have sex with you." and he tells the hippy to go to the church dressed up in a jesus costume while she is praying. so the hippy shows up at the church in the jesus costume and sure enough the nun comes and sits down and starts praying. then the hippy walks over and says "hello, i am jesus. the only way for me to let you live is if you have sex with me." so the nun thinks for a little while and says"alright ill do it but it has to be anal so i dont lose my virginity. the hippy thinks this is an ok deal so he goes through with it. when they were all finished the hippy stands up, rips off his mask and says "ha im the hippy!" and then the nun stands up and rips off her mask and says "HA im the busdriver!!"
Jan 13 2006 3:28PM
0 0
profile picture
PimpDaddySkier
Posts: 4221 - Karma: 20
^hahhahahhaha

what do you call a mexican without a lawn mower?


-unemployed
Jan 13 2006 4:00PM
0 0
profile picture
attitashfreestyle29
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 209
how long does it take a black woman to shit



9 months
Jan 13 2006 4:18PM
0 0
profile picture
casualfiasco
Posts: 662 - Karma: 10
soooooo randon but so funny
Jan 13 2006 4:26PM
0 0
profile picture
nickmcnutt
Posts: 4396 - Karma: 2,966
how many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

10, 1 to make the dough and 9 to pel the smarties


your mama's so fat and black, the environmentalists mistook her for an oil spill
Jan 13 2006 4:50PM
0 0
profile picture
casualfiasco
Posts: 662 - Karma: 10
your so dumb you cant even spell peel in yur own joke
Jan 13 2006 5:23PM
0 0
profile picture
nickmcnutt
Posts: 4396 - Karma: 2,966
your so dumb you cant even spell "your" in your own insult
Jan 13 2006 5:24PM
0 0
profile picture
casualfiasco
Posts: 662 - Karma: 10
ok i give up that was bad and theres no come back to that..
Jan 13 2006 5:41PM
0 0
profile picture
PimpDaddySkier
Posts: 4221 - Karma: 20
freestyle540 is a friggen fucktard.....he spelled 'your' wrong, it should be 'you're' damn you guys are stupid
Jan 13 2006 5:44PM
0 0
profile picture
MSdemeanor
Posts: 106 - Karma: 10
uhm. its supposed to be your.

your joke..
not you are joke.
Jan 13 2006 5:45PM
0 0
profile picture
PimpDaddySkier
Posts: 4221 - Karma: 20
it should be "you are so dumb" not "your dumb"
Jan 13 2006 5:57PM
0 0
profile picture
attitashfreestyle29
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 209
your retarded its eaststyle540 bitch
Jan 13 2006 6:04PM
0 0
profile picture
Jib163
Posts: 32 - Karma: 10
Whats the state vegetable of Florida??


Terry Sharvo
Jan 13 2006 6:08PM
0 0
profile picture
Potatoes
Posts: 1131 - Karma: 14
it's probably already said

so a pirate walks into a bar, right? and he has a gigantic steering wheel in his pants. He walks up to the bar, and the bartend says to him, "hey man, why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"

The pirate says, "YAAARRRR it's drivin me NUTS!"

aha gotta love that
Jan 13 2006 6:34PM
0 0
profile picture
skirbrt88
Posts: 1090 - Karma: 23
what do you call a shed full of black people?







Antique farm equipment
Jan 13 2006 6:39PM
0 0
profile picture
MSdemeanor
Posts: 106 - Karma: 10
oh, i thought you meant the 'yur'.

i didnt notice the first youre thing.
Jan 13 2006 6:41PM
0 0
profile picture
lamp
Posts: 3486 - Karma: 44
thats hilarious
Jan 13 2006 6:43PM
0 0
profile picture
El.Capitan
Posts: 654 - Karma: 11
how do you plant dope?

bury a blonde

What happens when a blonde gets alzheimers disease?

her IQ goes up

mahaha i love making fun of myself
Jan 13 2006 6:53PM
0 0
profile picture
steezyweezy
Posts: 244 - Karma: 10
How do you blindfold an asian?

with floss!
Jan 13 2006 7:22PM
0 0
profile picture
skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
FUCKING DISNEY CHANNEL, THE PRODUCERS DAUGHTER!!!! I REMEMBER THAT!
im sorry, i promise never to use caps lock again, im just really really excited.
Jan 13 2006 7:27PM
0 0
profile picture
.David.
Posts: 1273 - Karma: 12
Your spelling.
Jan 13 2006 7:29PM
0 0
profile picture
iridefattwins
Posts: 1126 - Karma: 16
2 guys walk into a bar

















ouch!!!
Jan 13 2006 7:45PM
0 0
profile picture
PimpDaddySkier
Posts: 4221 - Karma: 20
ghhhhheeeeeey
Jan 13 2006 7:46PM
0 0
profile picture
iridefattwins
Posts: 1126 - Karma: 16
y couldnt the 7 year old kid go see the pirate movie??



it was rated arrrrrrrr
Jan 13 2006 7:46PM
0 0
profile picture
PimpDaddySkier
Posts: 4221 - Karma: 20
^ DUDE YOU HAVE THE FUNNIEST JOKES IVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!!!! WHERED YOU GET THOSE JOKES!!!
Jan 13 2006 7:48PM
0 0
profile picture
ThePoopSock
Posts: 2619 - Karma: 22
y havent they sent a women to the moon?






doesnt need to be cleaned up yet
Jan 13 2006 8:20PM
0 0
profile picture
ThePoopSock
Posts: 2619 - Karma: 22
why r wedding dresses white?






all kitchen applences come in white
Jan 13 2006 8:21PM
0 0
profile picture
ThePoopSock
Posts: 2619 - Karma: 22
why cant women drive?






becuase there isnt a road between the kitchen and the bedroom
Jan 13 2006 8:21PM
0 0
profile picture
AdSkiAm
Posts: 410 - Karma: 10
Q: did you ever see Ray Charles' wife....?

you: no

A: he never did either
Jan 13 2006 10:54PM
0 0
profile picture
Leckett
Posts: 0 - Karma: 13
hhahahaha owned
Jan 13 2006 11:01PM
0 0
profile picture
salomonskiier12
Posts: 2862 - Karma: 19
dude, your an asshole-that really isn't funny
Jan 13 2006 11:14PM
0 0
profile picture
Timmy_G
Posts: 3735 - Karma: 15
George W. Bush once fought in a war.
Jan 13 2006 11:19PM
0 0
profile picture
switch-up
Posts: 99 - Karma: 11
Whats the best thing about twenty eight year olds?









There's twenty of them.
Jan 13 2006 11:28PM
0 0
profile picture
MSdemeanor
Posts: 106 - Karma: 10
i dont get the tractor joke. its not a joke.
and i hate disney channel.

george bush.. haha that was a good one
Jan 13 2006 11:30PM
0 0
profile picture
nickmcnutt
Posts: 4396 - Karma: 2,966
^ how can you not get the tractor joke? its simpler than the chicken crossing the road one
Jan 13 2006 11:31PM
0 0
profile picture
MSdemeanor
Posts: 106 - Karma: 10
no, it just doesnt make sense. like.. its not a joke.

what did i say when i lost my hat?
"wheres my hat?"

thats common sense, its not a joke.
Jan 14 2006 12:40AM
0 0
profile picture
kyle_w
Posts: 6805 - Karma: 23
whats the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?


one stops suckin when you smack it

(DA DUM TING! [funny drum sound])
Jan 14 2006 12:42AM
0 0
profile picture
kyle_w
Posts: 6805 - Karma: 23
what has 64 legs and 32 teeth?

a west virginia family reunion.


what is long, black and smells like shit?

the welfare line
Jan 14 2006 12:45AM
0 0
profile picture
freestyle_kyle
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 164
what has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?

a sleepover at michael jackson's
Jan 14 2006 12:52AM
0 0
profile picture
d.spong
Posts: 909 - Karma: 8
what do a motorized scooter and fat chick have in common.


both fun to ride till someone sees you
Jan 14 2006 2:02AM
0 0
profile picture
CTD
Posts: 6300 - Karma: 348
not a joke, true story. hilarious.

so we walk into Miejers. see an isle sign for femine care product isle. jokingly, we go to find my buddy some tampons. however, the ENTIRE ISLE was kitchen cleaning supllies!!
Jan 14 2006 10:14AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)