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how many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
12. 1 to do it and make a huge deal out of it, 3 to sit around telling him he sucks, 2 to say "ya that was sick" and the rest to sit in the way of the jumps
so these two irish guys are following this big mac truck wen all of a sudden the back flies open and thousands of black bowling balls fall out the back and go all over the road. The people pull over in front of the truck and go back to inspect the damage. Already theres at least 30 polish guys attacking the bowling balls with sledge hammers and axes. the irish guys are dumfounded as ask "wat the fuck r u guys doing", the polish guys are like "we gotta kill these nigger eggs before they hatch."
Stephen Harper has a dog.
Do you know who else had a dog?
Hitler.
Adolf Hitler.
That's who.
Did Stephen Harper train his dog to attack racial minorities on command?
We don't know.
He's not saying.
Choose your Canada.
Have you heard about the new Micheal Jackson doll? You wind it up and it plays with your kids.
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Why are there no amusement parks in China?
Because no one is tall enough to ride the rides!
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One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans close to her and says, "Honey, can I have a quickie?"
The waitress is appalled and yells at the President about women's rights and storms away.
Cheney then says to Bush, "George, its pronounced 'quiche'."
So there's a Russian a Mexican and an American sitting on the edge of a cliff, discussing life...all of a sudden the russian takes out a bottle of vodka, tkaes one swig and throws it off the cliff. the mexican and american scream and yell "why the hell did you do that" and the russian replays"theres plenty of that in my country".
So then the mexican takes out some weed and rolls a joint, takes one hit adn throws it off the cliff
"Why'd you do that?!"
"there's plenty of that in my country"
So then the american stands up, walks ovwer to the mexican and pushes him off the cliff
The russian guy says"Why the fuck did u do that?!"
and the American says...."theres plenty of them in my country
four guys come across a magic lamp, one is caucasian (white for all you idiots), one is black, one is hispanic, and one is asian.
They rub the lamp and out pops a genie. It thanks them for releasing him from the bottle to which he had been imprisoned and agrees to give them all one wish.
First comes the black man. he says that his people have been oppressed for many years in america and wishes that he and all his fellow blacks could be brought back to their home in Africa and be happy. The genie snaps his fingers and the black man along with all other blacks instantly are transported to africa.
Then comes the hispanic. After hearing the black man's wish he wants the same thing only he wants him and all his people happy in his home of Mexico. Again th genie snaps his fingers and the man vanishes along with all mexicans.
Next comes the asian who also likes the wish and asks the genie to bring him and all his people back to his home country of China and be happy. the fingers snap and again the man is gone along with all other asians.
Finally comes the white man. He says to the genie "so you mean to say that all of the blacks, spicks, and chinks are gone from america?" upon seeing the genie nod his head yes, the man replies "i'll have a coke then."