Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Airport security

profile picture
Elife
Posts: 2829 - Karma: 44
so i came home from BC last night on the red eye to montreal and i'm watching the guy behind me (like 6 foot five, 350 lbs and 40 yrs old) in line go through the metal detector and he sets it off...so he spreads his arms and the woman starts to scan him and she gets to his pocket and the thingy beeps so he has to empty his pocket...he pulls out a trojan and his wife totally sees him and fucking rips him a new one...going off on him about how she had her tubes tied and about how he had an affair before, bitch went nuts...i guess one of the security women talked her down but it was the craziest airport thing i've ever seen.
Jan 7 2006 2:18PM
0 0
profile picture
timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
BAHAHAHHA THATS HORIBLE!

my freind went through there. and was like "so what if i SAY i have a bomb, its not like i actually have a bomb, so they cant do anything about it." my dad almost killed him
Jan 7 2006 2:37PM
0 0
profile picture
salomonskiier12
Posts: 2862 - Karma: 19
thats hilarious
Jan 7 2006 2:51PM
0 0
profile picture
almostaskier
Posts: 13809 - Karma: 93
hahahahaha airport security is always funny.

i got frisked in stockholm because, oh silly me! i forgot i had a 1 kr coin in my back pocket. so there i am, beltless, getting the saggy pants effect while she-man searched me. she gets to my butt, it beeps, she pats around a bit and im like "uhhh excuse me?". then she lets me empty the pocket, behold a crown! not convinced, she searches again, hands and all, then lets me gather my stuff. scary stuff.
Jan 7 2006 3:18PM
0 0
profile picture
rugbydave
Posts: 770 - Karma: 9
I get searched everytime I go to hrough on the way to or from Tampa. This last time I was kinda scared though cause I was still drunk and had bought an 1/8 the night before and wasn't sure if some ended up in my gear... luckily nothing
Jan 7 2006 3:50PM
0 0
profile picture
wskibum176
Posts: 1536 - Karma: 13
hahahha, thats hilarious, must be so embarrisng to the wife
Jan 7 2006 4:50PM
0 0
profile picture
Elijah.
Posts: 9322 - Karma: 76
so so so good
Jan 7 2006 4:57PM
0 0
profile picture
CooksCorner
Posts: 3939 - Karma: 22
its akwardly large size makes it all the better
Jan 7 2006 5:25PM
0 0
profile picture
i_ski_switch
Posts: 589 - Karma: 58
damn i never see anything good in the airport!
Jan 7 2006 10:51PM
0 0
profile picture
Paul-o-Rama
Posts: 3301 - Karma: 13
i hate how they make you take your shoes off and take your comp out of your bag, then we you try to put it all back in ur bag and your shoes back on, they shoo you away
Jan 8 2006 4:46AM
0 0
profile picture
Bangor
Posts: 9599 - Karma: 129
I forgot to take my laptop out of my bag. They had to hand search my bag. They were not happy.

I forgot to take my wallet out of my pocket, forgot it had metal in it. They were not happy.

I forgot I had gum in my pockets. Gum foil sets off the alarms. I got the full pat down.

Security took 20 minutes just on me. I suck at flying.
Jan 8 2006 11:17AM
0 0
profile picture
Leckett
Posts: 0 - Karma: 13
hahahaha thats fuckin funny
Jan 8 2006 11:19AM
0 0
profile picture
JONNYZ
Posts: 909 - Karma: 6
thats hilarious
Jan 8 2006 11:32AM
0 0
profile picture
freestyleskiin
Posts: 1598 - Karma: 9
that can get you shot now man thats fucking stupid
Jan 8 2006 11:55AM
0 0
profile picture
Ktownchic
Posts: 1774 - Karma: 2
lmaooo. when i go thru security, my pierced nips always go off and i hafta get searched
Jan 8 2006 1:02PM
0 0
profile picture
k2yeags
Posts: 2320 - Karma: 27
they just did shoot someone for something like that. i wouldn't fuck around
Jan 8 2006 1:28PM
0 0
profile picture
salomonskiier12
Posts: 2862 - Karma: 19
they take those extremely seriously
Jan 10 2006 6:29PM
0 0
profile picture
sKILOve07
Posts: 3482 - Karma: 9
hahaha poor guy, that must have been really embarassing... maybe he just got handed a condom? who says he was cheating

haha
Jan 10 2006 6:32PM
0 0
profile picture
Phrosty
Posts: 9956 - Karma: 18
who the fuck is a 350lb man gona have an affair with?
Jan 10 2006 6:32PM
0 0
profile picture
sKILOve07
Posts: 3482 - Karma: 9
someone obviously desparate
Jan 10 2006 6:41PM
0 0
profile picture
JPSchuss
Posts: 46 - Karma: 19
So, is security really that tough now? Are there still dogs and the national guard hanging around?
Apr 20 2007 7:03PM
0 0
profile picture
AndrewZ
Posts: 759 - Karma: 36
o man, that coulda ended really poorly
Apr 20 2007 7:08PM
0 0
profile picture
Gavajabra2
Posts: 1259 - Karma: 13
Strangely that turns me on.
Apr 20 2007 7:09PM
0 0
profile picture
md.
Posts: 224 - Karma: 10
wowee, thats nuts dude
Apr 21 2007 6:00PM
0 0
profile picture
michelle
Posts: 6290 - Karma: 428
when i was going to windells i was flying with my ski bag for my carry on. i would bring that same backpack everyday to work (park crew/instructor). i had a foot and a half long screwdriver in the bottom of the bag to adjust bindings between my skis and board and such. totally forgot it was in my bag

my mom almost shit herself when security pulled it out of my bag, haha, whoooops
Apr 21 2007 6:08PM
0 0
profile picture
DJSTEVEINNIAMIXX
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 1,664
ahahahha wow
Apr 21 2007 6:13PM
0 0
profile picture
illianceblock
Posts: 154 - Karma: 10
try being a foreigner and flying into the US. fingerprints, mugshots, "are you a fucking terrorist?!?", we get the whole lot. way to encourage tourism.
Apr 21 2007 6:15PM
0 0
profile picture
T-Wash
Posts: 1656 - Karma: 37
Hahahahaha That's great. One time my bag got checked because I had a pair of socks and something round was on top of it. So they thought I had a hamster in my bag.
Apr 21 2007 6:18PM
0 0
profile picture
user098123
Posts: 6072 - Karma: 18
thats hot
Apr 21 2007 6:20PM
0 0
profile picture
ktollefson_1080
Posts: 2061 - Karma: 183
hahahah
Apr 21 2007 6:24PM
0 0
profile picture
Jibbin_the_717
Posts: 210 - Karma: 10
hahaha thats funny as shit
Apr 21 2007 6:30PM
0 0
profile picture
Legit
Posts: 1411 - Karma: 28
old thread
Apr 21 2007 6:30PM
0 0
profile picture
pommes_vertes.
Posts: 1260 - Karma: 10
i was flying home from college, leaving the denver airport, not long after my 19th birthday when my drivers license had expired, and was just planning on renewing it while i was home. apparently you arent allowed through security with an expired license, so when they checked that and my ticket, they sent me back to the ticketing booth to talk to them, so they printed me a different ticket and stamped it with a bunch of "D"s, and sent me back to security. when i got back, they looked at my ticket, called over 3 other TSA guys, and took me into one of the little side rooms by security. i had to strip down to my underwear and sit in a little chair, while they put on plastic gloves, emptied my carry-on bag, and swabbed all my clothes and everything inside with cotton swabs attached to a long metal rod. i then had to sit there while they took the cotton swabs and tested them for whatever, while one of the other guys looked at all my of stuff really closely by hand. finally they let me get dressed again, and i had two TSA people escort me to my gate and wait with me until i boarded. all because of an expired drivers license.

of course, i guess it makes sense, because everyone knows that terrorists dont renew their licenses.
Apr 21 2007 8:14PM
0 0
profile picture
icecreamsandwich
Posts: 3207 - Karma: 25
hahaha that would be the greatest thing to see. i would love it.

airport security is the worst flying into the states, man. i mean i do understand it, you are trying to be safe and all, so i dont get too annoyed at it.

i was going through security somewhere, i think in los angeles, and my backpack went through the scanner thing, and i had a backgammon travel set in there with like 40 tiny metal pieces each about and inch long for it, they called like 3 people over to look at the screen, trying to figure out what it was, they were so confused, and i was starting to get worried, i thought, i dont remember putting anything crazy in there, what are they looking at.....then they asked me about it, and i had no idea what they were talking about, so they asked me if i could empty my backpack, i said sure, wanting to know myself what was confusing them.....then we found it, everyone laughed a bit, and i went on my way.
Apr 21 2007 8:22PM
0 0
profile picture
phatbush
Posts: 1693 - Karma: 20
lol did she punch him?  Big fight?
Apr 21 2007 9:11PM
0 0
profile picture
JPSchuss
Posts: 46 - Karma: 19
so... don't mess around, know whats in your bags, and don't carry a 'bag'. that sucks, oh well the Pacific Northwest awaits
Apr 22 2007 10:25PM
0 0
profile picture
DDrem.
Posts: 3552 - Karma: 24
only time i like airport security is the TSA and how for some reason they always check my checked bags. my shit is always crammed to the zipper, but when i get it back, there is a random search tag in my bag and all my shit is neatly organized and folded. it has happened the last 10-12 times ive flown
Apr 22 2007 10:29PM
0 0
profile picture
pns513
Posts: 1966 - Karma: 12
that's just fucking hilarious
i would have probably been cracking up the whole time watching that
Apr 22 2007 10:41PM
0 0
profile picture
TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,435
i got stopped for a long ass time once for having one of those fake shock lighters when i was like 8.... the security guy was such a dick tho.... he got the fake lighter from me and hes standing there with it and everyone theres like dont press it dont press it and he waits like 5 seconds and stares at us then just shocks himself... then he ended up getting pissed for having it and we almost missed our flight
Apr 22 2007 11:05PM
0 0
profile picture
MitchPee
Posts: 8871 - Karma: 1,509
My friend forgot he had his 8 inch knife in his backpack...yeah I was pretty mad at him. I thought we weren't going to get on the plane to UT.
Apr 22 2007 11:07PM
0 0
profile picture
akpat
Posts: 28 - Karma: 10
all i ever see is muslims with bombs straped to their chests. kinda lame compared to his story
Apr 22 2007 11:10PM
0 0
profile picture
ThaLetterM.
Posts: 8609 - Karma: 1,613
TSA- teamsters standing around
Apr 22 2007 11:10PM
0 0
profile picture
HeathR
Posts: 4359 - Karma: 1,382
oF course if ur planning all that shit out you wouldent think to make sure u had a license that wasetn expired.
Apr 22 2007 11:32PM
0 0
profile picture
ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455
I used the same backback for a carry-on bad as i did on a long mtn bike ride earlier that week and the backpack went off and they found my Swiss Army knife in it and fucking throw it in the trash. fucking beurocrats wouldn't even mail it to me.
Apr 22 2007 11:43PM
0 0
profile picture
HeathR
Posts: 4359 - Karma: 1,382
yeah wtf do they do with all that shit anyways? So many nice knives get confiscated.
Apr 22 2007 11:46PM
0 0
profile picture
xAtticusx
Posts: 1211 - Karma: 10
i forgot i had a lighter in my backup while going through secuirty from vegas-toronto.
but whe i was going from toronto-vegas they didnt check out the lighter.
Apr 22 2007 11:48PM
0 0
profile picture
ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455
they fucking throw it away. it's that simple. such a waste. i'd love to get my hands on one of those trash bags.
Apr 23 2007 12:07AM
0 0
profile picture
LS.
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 858
Click for larger image
Apr 23 2007 12:32AM
0 0
profile picture
BFFset.
Posts: 2210 - Karma: 12
bahahah that would blow
Apr 23 2007 12:34AM
0 0
profile picture
andrewg
Posts: 4746 - Karma: 18
hahaha that guy got pwn3d
Apr 23 2007 12:36AM
0 0
profile picture
brokebutitsworthit
Posts: 2279 - Karma: 27
yup ive had the condom pulled out before, and the full patdown with swabs because i had suntan lotion in my bag, it is frustrating as hell when your booking it for connections. 
Apr 23 2007 5:23AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)