Conversation I had one morning with my mom. But I have to set up the situation a bit. My girlfriend of 8 months had been over the night before pretty late. I used to have this swinging bed. Basically, a big sheet of inch thick plywood, rigged up with aircraft cable, and so it hung in the center of my room. Swung around and shit. So one night, we're in there, I've got the music on pretty loud, and we're foolin around. Basically some pretty awesome sex goes down, and she's awefully loud. I didn't mind at all. So we are at our height of lovemaking, and the bed's a swinging. BAM BAM BAM. It starts slamming against the wall. A) Wall it was hitting, is a wall that is shared by my little sisters room. B) Several pictures fell off of her wall. C) She was moaning louder than the music. We're caught up in the moment and don't really care, so we just keep goin. About an hour or hour and a half later, we're finished, and I'm taking her home, and we walk out the door, I'm trying to hide my shit eating grin, and avoid conversation, because there is no way they didn't know. The next morning my mom knocks on my door, and opens it. I'm in my boxers sleeping on my stomach, and she goes, "Were you poking in here last night?" I'm still groggy because I was up until 3am having amazing sex. "Huh? Wtf is poking?" "You know, fucking, were you in here fucking your girlfriend?" "We don't fuck." "Why is your back all scratched up?" "Oh, um, she got a little excited." "From fucking?" "Um...no, we don't fuck" She gives me a weird look, glances around my room. "Why are there like 10 condom wrappers on your floor?" "Well, what do you use condoms for?" "So you were fucking!" "No, I was making sweet sweet love to her" "You're terrible, do you have any discretion?" "Not really, I mean, who passes up good sex?" "Well she kept your sister up last night" "She was enjoying herself, what's wrong with that?" "Nothing...er...well, I'm glad you know how to please your woman. I guess I raised you right." "You didn't teach me how to have good sex, that came naturally to me." "Well, I taught you to respect women, and always told you to treat them right." "Yeah, ok mom. So am I grounded for railing her?" "No, just keep the bed from slamming the wall for awhile" "Um..ok? I'm going back to sleep." "Ok honey, come down for breakfast in an hour"
That was fucking weird.
