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Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents
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ok, i'll start. it was channukah time once again and as usual, my grandma, her mother-in-law, sent my mom some slinky sleeping wear. My mom turns to me and goes "hmm, i wonder why she always sends me slinky sleepwear." without even thinking, i say "maybe she wants some more grandchildren, OH FUCK, I didn't mean it" By that point my mom was laughing histerically. She never let me forget it.
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why do you say i say a 40 well fuck you up good
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thats kinda normal for me. come to an AFL match around here, especially the finals games in the members section and every second word screamed is fuck or shit or something like that.
same happens at school matches, usually ends up in a good punch up.
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one time my friends and i were chillin and then something happend and i was like
"fuck you, ill rape your girlfriend"
right when my dad walked down. he made a wtf look and then started playin pool.
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ya it was just bad because my dad was right next to me
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back in like..the summer of 8th grade our group of friends would all take turns hosting a huge manhunt party. Basically, it was just an excuse for us to play truth or dare and make out. lol. So one night after manhunt I was sitting in the living room with my mom and she turns to me and tries to start conversation:
Mom:So who did you make out with tonight?
Me: uh....*extremely awkward silence*
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the most imbarrising thing for me probliy was: i was at home with my g/f and i was out of condoms and i had to ask my dad for some. he laughed and then gave me some. it was really imbarresing
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one time i was watching tv and my mom walked in and there was a huge hole in my pants the i dident notice and my mom walked in and asked me to put that thing away it was soo embarising
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This did not happen to me, but to a friend of mine: her boyfriend was over, they got down, and she threw the condom into a wastebasket. The dog fucking ATE IT, and later on, when her mother took it for a walk, shit it out in front of her. The girl was around 15 at the time.
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my mom was yelling at my dad about something stupid, and i tried to make light of the conversation by saying things like "yeah dad, i can't beleive you, how could you?" and kept going on.. and then i eventually i blurted out,
"jeez, don't be such a jerk off"
silence.... "oh.. oh my god. i didn't mean to say that"
mom bursts out laughting and says,
"you're right rosemarie, your father is nothing but a jerk off"
calling your dad a jerk off? awkward...
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My friend told me this on the way to school once and I couldnt stop laughing.
So in this dream I was with Goose (kind named Gustav) and we were at school and he was making the stupidest jokes ever and laughing like a retatrd. And he made this joke about a vagina and laughed like an immature asshole. So I yelled out in my sleep ITS JUST A VAGINA! Well where I was sleeping was in a hotel in purto rico right next to my parents bed. I woke up that day and asked my mom if I said anything in my sleep. She said yeah and I was like I dont wanna talk about it
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hahahahahahahah.....hahahaha
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I was driving and i decided to call home and say that i was comin home. noone was answering and suddenly someone cut me off so I yelled Fuck yo couch niggah not thinkin. when i got home i was in the bathroom when i hear my mom hit the answering machine and its me yelling fuck yo couch niggah.
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aight well this didnt happen to me, but i was at my friends house with a few other kids, and he was making out in his room with a cover over him and his girlfriend. Well his dad walks down, and his dad is super chill, and walks into the kids room. Where the blanket is kind on, kind off and they are pretty heavy making out. You could see a hand down the pants and stuff like that well his dad comes in and is just standing there grinning his ass off, we are all laughing in the other room which kinda alerts my friend. Out of desperation trys to cover them up a little an manages to make only his eye show. It was pretty impressive (i walked in right then) and is just like "hi Dad whats up" his dad starts laughing and is like colin finish up and set the table. HE walks up tells the kids mom. And dinner that night was fun
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o ya and the previous week we were at that house talking to this girl who was with us and sitting on a coach with our backs to the stairs and started kinda making fun of her, so the kids mom walks down, who isnt even close to as chill as his dad, and my friend is in the middle of a sentence ending in "its cause you blow so much black cock" to this girl. The mom just says "excuse me" well my friend tries to explain the sentence but it wasnt very recoverable. once again another fun dinner table story that night.
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i love reading this thread its so fucking funny
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Recently, my dad asked me what a "Jizzporium" was...ahh foreign parents.
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HOLLY FUCK, thats the funniest shit iv ever heard. I just cant believe how funny that is. hahahahahahahaha
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having ur gfs dad asking me if i took his lil girls V-card haha and basicly running away and comin up stairs and the mom asking me if she needs to put her lil girl on birth control hahahaha
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i tend to say embarrasing things when not in the right state of mind
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i guess this wouldnt seem like super embarassing but i had to admitt to my mom that i wasnt a virgin anymore and man was she ever pissed off.
but it was embarassing for me because you have no idea what other rampages she went on just because of it.
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ahahaha that must have been akward
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wow, I just remembered about this. Not something I said, but something that happened. This one time, I was about 10 or so, and it was like laundry day or something, so I'm walking around in my boxers looking for some pants. I walk into my parents room where my mom is folding laundry and my sister is talking with her. The boxers I was wearing didn't have a button on the front. My sister just starts cracking up, and my mom politely informed me that my dong was hanging out. I left the room pronto.
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IN A FUCKING PEZ DISPENER? HOW THE FUCK?
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ok so me and my dad went to this restaurant called Ri-Ra's in burlington,VT so we walk in sit at the bar and order our shit. He goes there all the time so he knew a lot of people there. When this girl that worked there came up to us and started talking to us she wouldnt shut up. So finally she walked away and i was like "wow she doesn't shut up" and my dad was like "Ill shut her up, put my dick in her mouth" It was funny b/c i think she might of heard him....i tried so hard not to laugh
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im not on drugs mom !
now make the wall stop doing that...
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yeah my dad walked in on me rolling a joint in the hottub. I didnt get grounded or anything they just nag me more about where im going and and what im doing
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Alright me and friends were so fuckin high the one night, i through a bonfire and we ripped outta a bong for an hour so we started to get loud with music and stuff and my mom opens up her window on the second floor to tell us to be quiet and i couldnt hear her so i said, "wait mom i cant see, let me whip out my cell phone" and i whipped it out real fast and held it like way above my head and she just shook her head and closed the window, and we couldnt stop laughin about how fuckin retarted i was
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Ha, this was actually tonight.
So i was running around the house with my dog and i was wearing reall cozy fleece socks and pants. So i was getting hot and i lay down on the couch. My grandparents were sitting in the chairs behind me watching Rob n Big. So my pants are off, and i had worn the boxers with no button on the front. i loo down and lo and behold my wang is sticking out so i smoothhly take a pillow and cover up.
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Hahahahaha... damn, that could've been messy...
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home after partying one night i was using the facilities and my dad was outside when i came out asking me about the night and i was doing a really good job covering up my words and all that and he sfinished hte conversation and i was like and if you piss in the sink, you dont have to go anywhere to wash your hands. that was a good night though
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I spilled ketchup on my pants, and I was showing my mom all of the different stains on my pants "...ketchup, toothpaste, semen..." I was kidding about the semen, but it was still pretty funny. Then I remembered I was talking t my mom.
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why would you have toothpaste on your pants?
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wow...i haven't stopped laughin for the past half hour...i can't get over the one about the swinging bed and the kid makin "sweet love" that takes teh cake
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thank god yall brought this thread back
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imagine walkin gup to the front door of the house, the parents come storming out and comming face to face w/ a 250lb southern bald hick say "are you having sex with my daugheR!?" and i go "yes..."
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i also found out he had a loaded gun in his back pocket. yeah...
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^ I call BS...unless you finish the story
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Well, one night when I was at a friend, and another friend was there, we were "fighting" and stuff and then suddenly they stopped, then as a grand finale I sat up in doggystyle and farted a loud stinking wind, not knowing that the reason they stopped messing was that my friends mom stood in the door staring at my ass. I felt like a dumbass, and I was sleepnig over there as well.
Point is, what is she thinking about me now?
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i bet your turned her on so much.
so what the fuck are you doin on a computer? go up and fuck that mom silly
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this thread never ceases to make me smile.
lmao.
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aight so heres the story for the b.s. caller. so it was me 17 and my gf, 15 and her mom is a faggot who goes through all of her stuff. she found her birth control and a pregnancy test of hers and i think read her diary. it was the day before haloween and i was on my way to her house to pick her up so we could go pick pumpkins. i get there, call her like 5 times, no responses. so i walk up to the front door and im about to reach the step when i hear "where is he, is he here?!" and i was like wtf. i turn the corner ending up face to face w/ her dad and her mom behind him. he asks "are you having sex with my daughter?!" i looked him in the eye and said "yeah" he responded with "you have 2 seconds to get off of my property before i kill you" and so i casually walk back ot my car, start it and drive away as my gf runs out the back door after my car and gets in BALLING. she tells me whatsup n stuff and told me that her dad loaded a gun infront of her and her moms faces and said "im not afraid to go to jail, i swear to god i'll kill this kid." yeah her parents are fucking redneck hicks n shit. true story also.
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uhhhhhhh...................
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