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November, 2024

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The Truth about Chuck Norris...

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CanadianBacon
Posts: 109 - Karma: 10
Look at this site i laughed for like 10 minutes straight!

http://www.sigur-ros.co.uk/board/viewthread.php?tid=16831

on the sigur ros website fourm
Chuck Norris is unstoppable unless confronted by Mr. T!
Nov 23 2005 3:50PM
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MADr.
Posts: 2193 - Karma: 27
"Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poops them out transformed into a robot."

good site
Nov 23 2005 4:01PM
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moJO90
Posts: 32 - Karma: 10
Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris
Nov 23 2005 4:05PM
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oO~sKiErGirL~Oo
Posts: 2314 - Karma: 21
chuck norris' tears cure cancer.
Nov 23 2005 4:07PM
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CanadianBacon
Posts: 109 - Karma: 10
This is one of my favourites
"Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths."
Nov 23 2005 4:13PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
we once threw a bachalar party for chuck norris, he ate the entire cake before he realized there was a hooker inside
Nov 23 2005 4:34PM
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beefbud
Posts: 3323 - Karma: 13
good band
Nov 23 2005 5:00PM
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Anti-Hero
Posts: 1269 - Karma: 339
thats such a ripoff of bill brasky

sheesh
Nov 23 2005 5:52PM
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Timmy_G
Posts: 3735 - Karma: 15
God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.


hahaha good one... I've heard quite a few of those ones but some were new.
Nov 23 2005 5:57PM
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Latch
Posts: 499 - Karma: 10
It's good to know that there are acutally three sides to the force, and that Chuck Norris is one of them
Nov 23 2005 6:09PM
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awsomecoolguy
Posts: 3536 - Karma: 13
chuck noris invented water
Nov 23 2005 6:54PM
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n0gga
Posts: 1053 - Karma: 103
chuck never gets his ass whooped in walkertexas ranger! he is the shit!
Nov 23 2005 6:57PM
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n0gga
Posts: 1053 - Karma: 103
hahah, roundhousekick is so sweet
Nov 23 2005 7:04PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
chuck norris was denied a sosage mcmuffin at Mcdonalds because it was 10:35, he roundkicked the whole restourant so hard it became a wendies
Nov 23 2005 7:05PM
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n0gga
Posts: 1053 - Karma: 103
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

haha, thats so hilarious. im laughing so much right now. haha
Nov 23 2005 7:10PM
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snowman_ja
Posts: 129 - Karma: 10
Actually all that stuff came form this site. http://www.4q.cc/ You can submit your own too.
Nov 23 2005 7:28PM
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AwR
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 1,881
chuck norris drinks napalm to calm his heartburn, hats off to that
Nov 23 2005 7:46PM
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ISkiSwitch
Posts: 3157 - Karma: 22
Chuck Norris can cut onions without crying.

haha
Nov 23 2005 7:50PM
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Schoening
Posts: 14332 - Karma: 1,268
i like chuck norris
Nov 23 2005 7:51PM
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sherpasrock
Posts: 2382 - Karma: 10
Every Friday, Chuck Norris stands menacingly on the shores of southern Texas and gazes stoicly into the ocean, whilst masturbating. This is why Hurricane Rita turned east.
Nov 23 2005 11:02PM
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*Fujative*
Posts: 8554 - Karma: 183
that is sooo old
Nov 23 2005 11:04PM
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schlonginator
Posts: 3971 - Karma: 27
this is by far the funniest thing i've read all week
Nov 23 2005 11:09PM
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schlonginator
Posts: 3971 - Karma: 27
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green number 4 card from the game Uno.
Nov 23 2005 11:13PM
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Torbord
Posts: 320 - Karma: 10
Every time Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, an angel gets its wings.


Its old, but funny as hell.
Nov 23 2005 11:15PM
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ecski73
Posts: 840 - Karma: 12
http://www.4q.cc/chuck/
here is the random fact generator that i thought i should share with you all
Nov 24 2005 12:49AM
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jimmychung
Posts: 6857 - Karma: 25
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Nov 24 2005 12:50AM
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freezed
Posts: 12973 - Karma: 500
hahaha...

simply amazing.
Nov 24 2005 1:24AM
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potatofarmer
Posts: 2020 - Karma: 13
Chuck Norris is sueing NBC claimng that LAW & ORDER are trademarks for his left and right legs

CHuck Norris beat the living shit out of a Burger King employee for not giving it to him his way, when he asked for barbed wire on his burger

Rumour has it Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparelleled martial arts skills. Shortly after the transaction, Chuck stole back his soul with a round house kick to the face. The devil noticing the irony, admitted he had seen this coming... the two have been freinds since and play poker together the second wednesday of every month

Just to prove cancer was no problem Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for two years, aquireing 7 different types of cancer. Only to rid them of his body in 30 minutes of flexing
Nov 24 2005 1:26AM
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flatspinblunt
Posts: 469 - Karma: 10
My buddy did a search and replace for chuck norris with Jack Burton much more fitting, if you dont know who jack burton is go watch big trouble in little china bitches
Nov 24 2005 1:55AM
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KeegLove
Posts: 10166 - Karma: 55
fuckin chuck norris
Nov 24 2005 2:48AM
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JoakimHayland
Posts: 1053 - Karma: 43
'Chuck Norris invented water.'

hahahaa
Nov 24 2005 3:15AM
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JackBach
Posts: 4155 - Karma: -5
Solid gold. That is hilarious.
Nov 24 2005 3:16AM
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BioGeorge
Posts: 204 - Karma: 13
DAMN YOU CHUCK NORRIS
Nov 24 2005 12:57PM
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MdanteL
Posts: 1142 - Karma: 16
When Vin Diesal jumps into a body of water he does not become wet, instead the water becomes Vin.... Old stuff but still funny
Nov 24 2005 12:59PM
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Jaskittin
Posts: 5606 - Karma: 195
Such a funny thread.
Nov 24 2005 1:06PM
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iridefattwins
Posts: 1126 - Karma: 16
curiosity didnt kill the cat...chuck norris did!

chuck norris started world war 2... b/c he was bored
Nov 24 2005 2:33PM
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anti_bunk
Posts: 2629 - Karma: 329
so does anybody remember the other 9 times this shit has been posted. fuck you
Nov 24 2005 2:36PM
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michelle
Posts: 6290 - Karma: 428
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Nov 24 2005 2:36PM
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Jaskittin
Posts: 5606 - Karma: 195
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green number 4 card from the game Uno.
Nov 24 2005 4:07PM
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-LineDarkside-
Posts: 359 - Karma: 10
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

HA
Nov 24 2005 4:35PM
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thecoyote
Posts: 1937 - Karma: 14
too bad Chuck Norris has never cried

those two combined is actually my friends msn name right now....random!
Nov 24 2005 5:48PM
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