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A boarder's disease

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Captain_Jib
Posts: 5 - Karma: 10
A new disease is springing up on the slopes and has affected many snowboarders, escepcially those that stay in terrain parks. This newfound disease is called snowass, or in medical terms, snowus assus. This condition affects snowboarders and sometimes skiers that spend too much time on the ground watching others go big. Symptoms of this disease include: a large white patch on the ass, sometimes stiff and icy, A numb ass, and most serious of all, it has a tendency to make boarders' egos grow to alarming proportions. this last symptom soon dissapates however after the snowboarder in question attempts to take to the air and flails around helplessly. Snowass is a topical condition, and usually results in the sufferer being made fun of in lift lines because of the icicles hanging off the back of the jacket.
The only cure for snowass is a swift kick to the area in question, freeing the snow from the bottom of the jacket as well as getting the boarder up so he will actually get down the mountain.

this should be a disease... i'm getting so tired of the posers at the top of the terrain park. Get off your freakin ass so you can learn to board dammit!
Dec 7 2002 2:51PM
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Itsbackfliptime
Posts: 18901 - Karma: 75
that is brilliant. It reminds me of my hill with all the snowboarders sitting around talking about how good they are.
There is nothing motherly about mother nature. Except for her big mountainous breasts.
Dec 7 2002 2:53PM
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c_gp
Posts: 262 - Karma: 10
With me at least, I'll sit there and watch a bit to see how people are doing things, but not all day.
Frankly I'm prettty sure I'm gonna get made fuun of either way, so I usually just end up leaving the park and going to hit the pow. :/
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Rossi Scratch Warriors
Dec 7 2002 3:21PM
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youneedmorelumber
Posts: 755 - Karma: 10
boarders who sit around a talk about how good they are, lol. that pretty much sums up everything boarders do
Dec 7 2002 6:53PM
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ElChapoTrapHaus
Posts: 1250 - Karma: 38
quit bitching, more hits for those not inflicted. as long as they clear off the run way, i love a crowd. and if they are in the way you get to see how high you can ollie, and it doesn't really matter if you clear them or not.



____________________________________________________________
Give me a Corona and I'll Bone ya,
I fly planes so take off them hanes.
Dec 7 2002 7:05PM
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Itsbackfliptime
Posts: 18901 - Karma: 75
why can't they just watch from the chairlift?

There is nothing motherly about mother nature. Except for her big mountainous breasts.
Dec 7 2002 10:24PM
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Flowsion
Posts: 1461 - Karma: 11
too bad they all sit in the in-run about 3 feet in front of the kicker. And I got shit for sayin boarders just sit all day... Fuck all of you that disagree cause they do


Proud member of the Ghetto Park Builders Union local 637

'Is Butterbean okay?'
Dec 7 2002 10:26PM
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youneedmorelumber
Posts: 755 - Karma: 10
good think skiiers can fight so much better than boarders. we also have better weapons, two very sharp poles, that we know how to use very well
Dec 7 2002 10:41PM
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skia123
Posts: 429 - Karma: 11
MT-hed you at right, I hate those damn snowboarders that sit 2 feet from the kicker! then slowly roll over it!
Dec 7 2002 10:48PM
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johnnypsunami
Posts: 5024 - Karma: 221
i jsut ate them altogether, cept my boarder friends, they are chill
What the hell were they doing with a car on the moon?... havent they gone far enough?
Dec 7 2002 10:52PM
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iAlmostLanded
Posts: 162 - Karma: 10
I can't stand how most boarders are posers. They all look like they just came out of a goddamn american eagle store or somethin because they all think that's the style. Or they'll go out in just a sweater and complain about freezing their ass off but they think it's all good cause they think they're cool or some shit. So then they just dress the way they do and have their gay 'i'm a badass' attitude and sit at the top of the hill lookin like a fuckin flock of seagulls.
Dec 8 2002 12:12AM
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youneedmorelumber
Posts: 755 - Karma: 10
and why the fuck do boarders go down the damn double blacks, they shouldn't even try, there is no way that they can cut enough to slow down at that steep of an angle. they should stay on the greens, and the tiny jumps they make in the woods
Dec 8 2002 12:57AM
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iAlmostLanded
Posts: 162 - Karma: 10
snowboarding = worst thing ever to happen to snow sports
Dec 8 2002 1:14AM
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alpentalik
Posts: 7364 - Karma: 110
you = the gayest thing to ever happen to my oxygen supply...go die now


''Never trust anyone until you see their private parts.''
Dec 8 2002 6:18AM
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iAlmostLanded
Posts: 162 - Karma: 10
hah snowboarding is gay because they all act like fags but some of the ones that can actually do stuff are cool for the most part, it's just those faggots that can't do shit and think they're badass that piss me off
Dec 8 2002 10:45AM
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insaneclown
Posts: 728 - Karma: 46
Without Boardes the development of Twintips etc would'nt have been started. And we would have to wear that stupid looking skiwears...
Dec 8 2002 11:58AM
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mmm4twintips
Posts: 1186 - Karma: 11
there a lot of boarders out htere who rip but for the one who go and rolover the jum follow behind them and jump over there assea waving as you pass they wont attemp it again specially after they realize how stupid they just made themselves look.
Dec 8 2002 12:13PM
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bob_dole
Posts: 4078 - Karma: 1,580
yea way to rip on boarders here...and you complain that you dont get all the respect you guys want..smooooth i say. yes there are some gay snowboarders, yes there are some gay skiers as well though. and yes you guess it there are some gay ski patrollers too. but you always find cool people within that group. so dont let those few dumbasses sway youre opinion on the group as a whole ya dig ? give props to the individual that deserve the props.


so fuck you too

sub honcho of ECVM
Dec 8 2002 12:40PM
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iAlmostLanded
Posts: 162 - Karma: 10
wow dude, i never thought about that...that was definitely deep. props to ya
Dec 8 2002 12:56PM
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Itsbackfliptime
Posts: 18901 - Karma: 75
Why wouldnt twintips have progressed without snowboards? Olin Mark IV's are pretty much twin tips and theyre older than the snowboards with twintips. People were doing backflips and stuff on skis long before snowboards. I guess we should respect the trees because without them skis wouldnt have been invented.
There is nothing motherly about mother nature. Except for her big mountainous breasts.
Dec 8 2002 1:07PM
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Flowsion
Posts: 1461 - Karma: 11
haha there ya go


Proud member of the Ghetto Park Builders Union local 637

'Is Butterbean okay?'
Dec 8 2002 1:19PM
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youneedmorelumber
Posts: 755 - Karma: 10
really, back when my dad was on ski patrol (20 years ago) they had what were called baliet skis, and they were pretty much ski skates, and they were doin backflips and graps on this things. so dont say that twins would have never happended if it wasn't for boarders.
Dec 8 2002 1:53PM
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